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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 06-11-2015, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
18,780 posts, read 18,121,941 times
Reputation: 14777

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
Yeah, stuff happens. Hey, I've seen Mr. Fisheye trotting it out in other areas of C-D. That man gets around. I'm not calling him fast or easy... just saying.
Yes! Although I just got my fingers slapped for getting too carried away (although I did not see it that way). I think the moderator was unfair (not our moderator).

Welcome back Bloomin! We all hope that you will hang around for some time. You probably would not be working so hard if we had that chapped butt stick factory operating in your basement. I probably could have used a few cases myself!
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Old 06-11-2015, 10:24 AM
 
2,760 posts, read 3,951,737 times
Reputation: 1977
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Well Ger, since that Bloom lady hasn't been around, I'm guessing Mr. Fisheye may be looking for a new partner to get the Chapped A$$ remedy under way.

Of course, in the absence of the previous A$$-Chappers, the need for it seems to waning; it might be a good idea to look for a different business opportunity.

Hey, fish, you could always start a duck-porno business!
Ladies ladies...
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Old 06-11-2015, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
18,780 posts, read 18,121,941 times
Reputation: 14777
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Hey, fish, you could always start a duck-porno business!
Oh no; my secret is out! Now everybody knows of the little problem my ducks have: Bisexual ducks!. It is like waking up out of a very deep sleep and finding out that your father's name is Bruce Jenner! We were so afraid that our neighbors would find out; what would we tell them - they got bumped on the head and are just confused?

We were going to fly in one of those Beverly Hills pet psychologist to 'straighten' our babies out - but that could be expensive. So, now, you solved our problem. Bloomin can move the duck porno business into her basement and she does not have to go to works again! Hey, if you can't beat them, join them!
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Old 06-11-2015, 01:56 PM
 
98 posts, read 111,402 times
Reputation: 54
Those Beverly Hills Pet Psychologists....I remember reading an article about Donald Duck...seemed he 'waddled' both ways and Mr. Disney had some issues with it...

Sent Donald for some high priced counseling sessions...

Don't know the outcome....just hoping his money was spent to his satisfaction, and the Psych. wasnt just another Quack.
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Old 06-11-2015, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,921 posts, read 36,316,341 times
Reputation: 43748
Speaking of duck porn, there was some serious action in my yard the other week. I could see a pair of ducks landing in the area. Next thing I know, there's 4 ducks--2 males, 2 females--honking and flapping and chasing each other around my side yard. One female flew away and things got worse! We had attempted gang rape, domination, fighting... you name it.
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Old 06-11-2015, 03:02 PM
 
98 posts, read 111,402 times
Reputation: 54
Sometimes watching female ducks (Hens) and Male Ducks (Drakes) 'bumpin' uglies' is more fun then watching Netflix.

Still need to make some popcorn though.
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Old 06-11-2015, 03:27 PM
 
190 posts, read 285,924 times
Reputation: 353
My idea of fast food is placing the bead of a 12 ga barrel on a flying mallard duck.

Delivered faster than Amazon Prime..
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Old 06-11-2015, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
18,780 posts, read 18,121,941 times
Reputation: 14777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneaky Pete View Post
Those Beverly Hills Pet Psychologists....I remember reading an article about Donald Duck...seemed he 'waddled' both ways and Mr. Disney had some issues with it...

Sent Donald for some high priced counseling sessions...

Don't know the outcome....just hoping his money was spent to his satisfaction, and the Psych. wasnt just another Quack.
Our ducks quack me up. I'm afraid they are quack heads! That might explain all of this debauchery? They are simply out of their little bird brain minds.

What difference there is between wild turkeys matting and our domestic ducks mating. Male wild turkeys will strut their stuff all day looking for one female that will cooperate. Then, when they get that one cooperative female, they stand on top of her for ten or fifteen minutes just getting their feet and body in the right position. Then the actual matting - if you blink; you will miss it. It is over that quick. Then there is the after-sex strut that shows the rest of the turkeys what a great lover the old Tom bird is!

Our ducks, on the other hand, are just one big orgy. It usually starts out with one male on the female - but then other males join in. In the Spring our females look like they have reverse Mohawks - they get plucked in the process.
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Old 06-11-2015, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
18,780 posts, read 18,121,941 times
Reputation: 14777
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Old 06-11-2015, 06:59 PM
 
98 posts, read 111,402 times
Reputation: 54
In the River town of Yardley Pa. Near me there is a large (Peken i think) Duck population that have been protected and feed by the mostly Yuppie type population for about 80 years now...

They have their own crosswalks, signs everywhere; 'drive Carefully, Duck Crossing' etc.
Bumper stickers read 'I Brake for Ducks in Yardley'...

Come mating season the Duck population (still growing) goes 'crazy go nutz' ...
Mass Orgy in the town and the denizens just love it...I've seen Males actually crash into buildings and cars chasing the females..

I remember my ex wife remarking she witnessed a gang rape of a female duck and relating that the male ducks 'thingies look like corkscrews'

I also remember some college buds going to Yardley at night and grabbing a few plump ducklings while they slept then later dressing them out for a group dinner the next day.

Their way of thinning the flock.

Last edited by Sneaky Pete; 06-11-2015 at 07:17 PM..
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