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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:42 PM
 
9 posts, read 10,236 times
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Why is it that most of the women in the valley have to be the authority ? They have to have the last word ; they never really listen, hear what they want to hear, they put words in your mouth when they repeat what you said. THis is not only true of the older generation, but the younger women also. I have returned to the valley after being away for some time, and I can't get over how controlling the women up here want to be. Is it me or what ? I really dont think I want to continue my search for a mate/partner.
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:54 PM
 
11,102 posts, read 9,755,798 times
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I am new to the area, but I have noticed this.
I think men around here,seem at least to set the bar lower, in many ways, than woman do. The woman thus assume the position of authority.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, however it's not working for you.
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Old 01-28-2012, 06:01 AM
Status: "I wear the chain I forged in life..." (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Forty Fort
4,146 posts, read 3,243,035 times
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Perhaps it harks back to the days when the mining industry shut down due to the Pittston Mine Disaster and the men found themselves with no jobs. At that point, wives and mothers who had heretofore stayed at home were forced to go out to work - mostly in the garment factories.

Prior to that, the men were the authority figures but now that "the woman" (are wives anywhere else referred to that way?) was the breadwinner, the power shift occurred.

This is total speculation on my part. I have no links to prove the point. Any sociology majors who want to dispute me, help yourself.

(In my own case, I am the authority in all things. They call me OPB - Opinionated, but lovable )
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Old 01-28-2012, 01:45 PM
 
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Former Sociology major at your service. I think servitude in the mines, disaster or not, did much to split the domains of "home" and "work" more sharply here than in other places.

I still see it today in many spheres of life. When we first moved here, we hired a house painter. When ever he wanted to be paid he asked me, not my husband (either would be OK) and always put in a little thing about "running home to give the money over to the wife" He was a pretty macho guy - outdoors man and all that.

I might trace it further than that back to Eastern Europe. As some of you know, for a while I was involved in a hosting program between the US and Ukraine. Men were not well thought of there. Men were "shiftless" "immature" "drinkers" and in general not to be trusted - especially with other woman and money.

I see it today among my son's friends. All of his friends are students who perform between "B" and Honors level work. Males and females.
Back in NY - all of those students would be considered "Four year college material", by both their families, and the High School. Here, not so.

All of the female students are attending four year colleges, regardless of grades. Every one.
Of the males only the ones with honors students are attending Four Year Colleges. Prestigious one's and out of town. The other males are going to Luzerne, or working.

Another split occurs in where they are going - the males who ARE going to four year colleges are out are going out of town. (one is living at University of Scranton, but I am counting that) The females are ALL living at home. (mostly King's, Wilkes, Miseracordia, one Marywood but she's commuting)

This split also speaks to a paternalistic attitude towards female off spring AND to the value of girls within the distinct culture that has emerged in the Valley.

Anytime one sends an 18 yr, old away to college, there is a chance that they will not return. Woman are seen as the keeper's of family life. Men, less so.

The extended family has great importance here in the Valley.

Woman more frequently perform extended family duties here - such as caring for one another's children, and caring for elderly parents. Men, not so much.

The other phenomenon that I have observed is the "carry over of blue collar family structure across Socioeconomic lines" - In other words, families that appear to be prosperous, and upper middle class, still maintain "blue collar ways" THIS IS NOT A BAD THING OR A GOOD THING

In blue collar families, cross culturally, females are the keepers of tradition, and the reliable members of the family in terms of finances. The male may earn the money, but the woman allocates it.

If anyone is interested in reading about this subject, Tamara K. Haraven, did exhaustive studies about this very topic, in studying the industrial towns of New England.

Now...I really want to get my PhD in Sociology...
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Old 01-28-2012, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,239 posts, read 3,072,048 times
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Sheena, you should get that PhD, you are SPOT ON

Especially with what you said in regards to the Ukraine - my DH's family is 100% Ukrainian and EXACTLY like that. His parents & grandparents would always ship merchandise for bartering over to their family - such as our old designer jeans/ski coats, so the women could barter with that and get food and necessities. They would never send money because 100% of the men in the family would abscond with it and spend it on alcohol.
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Old 01-28-2012, 11:25 PM
 
11,102 posts, read 9,755,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_s View Post
Sheena, you should get that PhD, you are SPOT ON

Especially with what you said in regards to the Ukraine - my DH's family is 100% Ukrainian and EXACTLY like that. His parents & grandparents would always ship merchandise for bartering over to their family - such as our old designer jeans/ski coats, so the women could barter with that and get food and necessities. They would never send money because 100% of the men in the family would abscond with it and spend it on alcohol.

I had to laugh! I know all about the bartering! In some ways there is a bit of truth to it, at least in terms of men from Ukraine of a certain age who were forced to serve in the USSR military.
Many of that generation returned home with a huge thirst for Vodka and women.
Where as the woman had a chance to obtain a university education.
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:08 PM
 
9 posts, read 10,236 times
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Mingo95 here.
Some of these posts are right on ... some are not.
Let me expound ... last night I was at a dinner party with out a date.
I was introduced to one woman who decided to cling to me.
When the dicussions got going after dinner, she would cut in and finish my statements or tell me I was wrong and correct what I was saying.
She always had the last word, right or wrong (mostly wrong), I thnk that was why the topic changed so much.
It was like being 4 years old again and being corrected my my MOM .
I spoke with a freind today and he said " it's a valley thing, it is in the female DNA up here ???????
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Old 01-30-2012, 11:00 PM
 
3,630 posts, read 2,841,989 times
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absolutely and it drives my daughter up a wall cause she has to work with a bunch of these women and she was not born nor raised in da valley-----no wonder most of the guys here drink too much and look worn out before they're forty
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