Northeastern PennsylvaniaScranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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If you really knew what went on behind the scenes at any restaurant, you'd stop eating out all together. I've worked at a fancy hotel banquet hall before and I can't tell you all the discusting things I've seen.
Three animals in a bar were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first animal, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.
The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. No one in the jungle dared to challenge him, King of the Jungle.
The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature with his unique arsenal.
As the three debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all; hawk, lion and stinker!
Loved this one - For all you dieters out there....
My husband and I had made some huge changes in our lives. He had been on a strict diet and exercise regimen and had recently lost 50 pounds. And after being a homemaker our entire marriage, I had just gotten a job in a local restaurant. I returned home from work after my first morning shift and gave my husband a great big hug. For some reason, he seemed to cling to me much longer than usual. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Did you miss me that much?"
"No, not really," he replied, still holding me close, "but you smell so much like pancakes I just hate to let you go!"
A woman's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her mother. When the minister arrived, he found the woman lying in bed with her head propped up on two pillows.
An empty chair sat beside her bed.
The minister assumed that the woman had been informed of his visit..
'I guess you were expecting me, he said.
'No, who are you?' said the mother.
The minister told her his name and then remarked, 'I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up..'
'Oh yeah, the chair,' said the bedridden woman. 'Would you mind closing the door?'
Puzzled, the minister shut the door.
'I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter,' said the woman, 'But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head...I abandoned any attempt at prayer,' the old woman continued, 'until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, 'Prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest..
'Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I will be with you always'..'Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now..'
'So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm.'
The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old woman to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with her, anointed her with oil,
and returned to the church.
Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her mama had died that afternoon.
Did she die in peace?' he asked.
Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, she called me over to her bedside, told me she loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found her.
But there was something strange about her death...
Apparently, just before Mom died, she leaned over and rested her head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?'
The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, 'I wish we could all go like that.'
Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive.
I asked God for water, He gave me an ocean.*
I asked God for a flower, He gave me a garden.*
I asked God for a friend, He gave me all of YOU...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Bumping this back up to wish everyone on the NEPA forum a wonderful family and friend filled Christmas. If you are traveling, I hope you will have a safe journey and if you have company coming like I do, I wish you a stress-less visit filled with laughter.
Thank you toobusy for bumping............
Wishing you and everyone here in NEPA, and all around our country. As we have posters as far as Florida California........and inbetween.
A Very Merry Christmas and Wonderful New Year. .........." Every Year, Every Day, Every Christmas"
I would like to wish all you folks a very Happy,Healthy,and Safe Holiday season and I also wish you all a Happy and Joyous New Year .
We live in the best place in the world , Snow on the ground , a hint of people burning wood is in the air , Its crisp outside and its the season of giving and sharing . There is no where else I'd rather be Than NEPA
From us ("the wishor") to you ("hereinafter called the wishee") Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all
... and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that-
* This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal
* This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
* This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
* This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
* This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
* The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor
* Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged
ohhhh and Merry Christmas.
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