NEPAs Own Off-Topic Thread ( family, home, photos) (license, foods)

[lialleycat]

Got this today, thought it was hysterical...

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.


We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered


our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.




We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi


arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.




The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't


want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.



My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat.


The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab,


my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty


for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,


"He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother."




A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,


as we drove away. "That stupid ***** was hiding under the bed.


I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!


She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to


wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked!


I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"




The cab driver hit a parked car

[Jungle George]

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the
currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line. Just one lady in front of me... an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, 'Why it change?? Yestaday, I get two hunat dolla fo
yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?'

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations' .

The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.

[Summering]

Oh a funny one...........
Now JG........can we make an exchange with you.........emmmmm....hemmmmmm
For some sun and no snow! We in NEPA are in the mist of an April snow shower.......
I'm about ready to head south again........
In fact the car gauge said " S " 47 degrees yesterday........and I said to hubby........
" Looks like we are headed South!, so that says...." and he said........"Yep, looks like it doesn't it"........sigh........

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by summering

oh a funny one...........
Now jg........can we make an exchange with you.........emmmmm....hemmmmmm
for some sun and no snow!

no!!!!!

But y'all can come visit!!!

[Summering]

Ahhhh Shucks

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by Summering

Ahhhh Shucks

LOL!! It was FREEZING this morning!! Monday broke heat records & this morning broke cold records!!

Still, 48 degrees is better than 30's!!!

[lialleycat]

Another funny...



Little Pauly was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"


"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.


"It wasn't that. She didn't scare the fish. She ate all the bait!"

[Jungle George]

Originally Posted by lialleycat

Another funny...



Little Pauly was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along. "I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"


"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.


"It wasn't that. She didn't scare the fish. She ate all the bait!"

LOL!!! When my cousin was a little kid, he DID eat the bait!!!! YUK!!!!

It's enough to turn ya vegetarian!!

Speaking of, did y'all hear about the woman in Colorado who wanted her custom license plate to read "ILVTOFU"?? They declined her, saying it was x-rated...

Being a vegetarian & a tofu-lover myself, it took a second to wonder what they were talking about.....then I got it!!!

[poconoproud]

my son just ate a worm on his birthday. His buddies dared him to eat it, and he ate the darn thing. All I can do is shake my head and wonder what's next.

[lialleycat]

Originally Posted by Jungle George

LOL!!! When my cousin was a little kid, he DID eat the bait!!!! YUK!!!!

It's enough to turn ya vegetarian!!

Speaking of, did y'all hear about the woman in Colorado who wanted her custom license plate to read "ILVTOFU"?? They declined her, saying it was x-rated...

Being a vegetarian & a tofu-lover myself, it took a second to wonder what they were talking about.....then I got it!!!

Apparently I'm a little slow on the uptake! It took me a few reads to figure out what was wrong with that license plate!