As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember:
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
An impressive new book. It's called .........
'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
And be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and
Your boss, the Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.
4. When you get older, your mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to
Your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.
The seat folded up, the drink spilled and
That ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8.. A husband is someone who, after taking
the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.
9 My next house will have no kitchen - just
Vending machines and a large trash can.
10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my
Mechanic might try to rip me off.
I was relieved when he told me all
I needed was turn signal fluid.'
11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
12.. As you slide down the banister of life, may
The splinters never point the wrong way.
________________________________________
LATEX GLOVES
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you ' re going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
gloves.
' Do you know how they make these gloves? ' he asked.
' No, I don't, ' she replied.
' Well, ' he spoofed, ' there's a building in Canada with a big tank
of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size. '
She didn't crack a smile.
' Oh, well. I tried, ' he thought.
But, five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
' What's so funny? ' he asked.
' I was just envisioning how condoms are made! '
(Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working!)
Be afraid of old ladies!
Be very afraid!!!!
They have been there and done everything!
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Who's Got The Rum????
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