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Northeastern Pennsylvania Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Pocono area
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Unread 05-11-2009, 05:59 AM
 
2,474 posts, read 3,044,239 times
Reputation: 1186
Default A Little "After Mother's Day" Reminder...

A Mother's Teachings...

Mom taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

Mom taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that it will come out of the carpet."

Mom taught me TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

Mom taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."

Mom taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

Mom taught me OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

Mom taught me STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

Mom taught me WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

Mom taught me PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

Mom taught me HYPOCRACY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

Mom taught me BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father."

Mom taught me ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

And most of all, Mom taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

Thank you Mom!!!
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Unread 05-11-2009, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,303 posts, read 12,376,362 times
Reputation: 11428
Too Funny.........and yes, I heard them all "personally" Spinach being the worst to endure......
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Unread 05-11-2009, 01:36 PM
 
1,813 posts, read 3,155,670 times
Reputation: 714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summering View Post
Too Funny.........and yes, I heard them all "personally" Spinach being the worst to endure......
What's wrong with spinach? I love spinach! Especially fresh baby spinach salad with strawberries, mandarin oranges, walnuts and a raspberry dressing. Mmmmm.
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Unread 05-11-2009, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,269 posts, read 2,537,474 times
Reputation: 5943
Good Evening friends!
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Unread 05-11-2009, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
25,414 posts, read 42,222,476 times
Reputation: 10244
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
good evening friends!
Howdy!
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Unread 05-11-2009, 06:15 PM
 
2,474 posts, read 3,044,239 times
Reputation: 1186
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
Good Evening friends!

YouTube - The Alfred Hitchcock Hour intro
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Unread 05-11-2009, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,269 posts, read 2,537,474 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
Howdy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post


So how has your guys' day gone?
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Unread 05-11-2009, 06:42 PM
 
2,474 posts, read 3,044,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gdude View Post
So how has your guys' day gone?
Except for a run-in with our $@#hole neighbor where we called the cops, just wonderful!!!

In '99 when I moved here, we were buddy-buddies. I helped him do all kindsa stuff with his house, yard, we partied together & were friendly. During the hurricanes, him, his wife & their pets & luggage rode out the storms in our house (the stronger structure of the 2).

In '04, right after the hurricanes, I strung out hoses from either side of the house so our neighbors on both sides could get water for flushing, washing & cooking. (I have city water & they have well, so with no electricity, they had no water).

He abused my good will (washing his car, etc), so my mom (who was living with us) got P.O'd & cut off his water. Ever since, for the past 5 years he won't speak to us, does vindictive childish crap, & basically acts like a 2 y/o!! Even his wife calls him an a-hole!! (now THAT'S sad!!)

Well, long story short, we had enough of being his "dumping ground", so a confrontation started & he threatened my partner!! (insert call to cops..)

It's so stupid!! After 5 years, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!
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Unread 05-11-2009, 06:52 PM
 
2,474 posts, read 3,044,239 times
Reputation: 1186
Default ****Hic****

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3 Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
5. Parallelogram

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry but you're not really my type.
4. No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.
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Unread 05-11-2009, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,269 posts, read 2,537,474 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jungle George View Post
Except for a run-in with our $@#hole neighbor where we called the cops, just wonderful!!!

In '99 when I moved here, we were buddy-buddies. I helped him do all kindsa stuff with his house, yard, we partied together & were friendly. During the hurricanes, him, his wife & their pets & luggage rode out the storms in our house (the stronger structure of the 2).

In '04, right after the hurricanes, I strung out hoses from either side of the house so our neighbors on both sides could get water for flushing, washing & cooking. (I have city water & they have well, so with no electricity, they had no water).

He abused my good will (washing his car, etc), so my mom (who was living with us) got P.O'd & cut off his water. Ever since, for the past 5 years he won't speak to us, does vindictive childish crap, & basically acts like a 2 y/o!! Even his wife calls him an a-hole!! (now THAT'S sad!!)

Well, long story short, we had enough of being his "dumping ground", so a confrontation started & he threatened my partner!! (insert call to cops..)

It's so stupid!! After 5 years, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!
Sounds lovely

We have a similar situation here only differences is we live in a apartment building and the reason for the back and forth tension, name calling..etc is over someone sitting on the sidewalk and not on the picnic table across the row.
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