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Old 08-07-2010, 05:54 AM
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 26,828,884 times
Reputation: 42860


It could be those women just don't want to advertise that they will consider a male roommate. Sad but true, placing an ad like that on Craig's List can attract creeps. If it was a guy they knew, that could be an entirely different matter.

FWIW, when I was in my 20s, I had a few different roommates. Usually they were female, but twice I had male roommates. It worked out just fine, although to be honest I preferred the females. Yes, it's a cliche but both of the guys tended to be messier than my female roommates. They were also more careless about things like leaving doors unlocked when going out for just a minute. I liked them as people but both times I was just as glad when they moved out.

Old 08-07-2010, 07:29 AM
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
30,101 posts, read 67,188,022 times
Reputation: 15743
I appreciate everyone's insight. I'm mostly trying to get inside the mind of some of you females who know where those posting these ads are coming from so I can get a full grasp for the apprehensions involved so when the time does come that I do move I can have a better chance of assuaging a woman's concerns if I happen to find my "dream place" with a "females only" ad.

My gut instinct that many women are afraid of being physically overpowered by a male stranger seems to be correct, but I wanted to get some validation on that. Naturally if a woman is firm in her decision to room with only other women I should respect her wishes, but given my typically pacificist personality, slim build, and lack of desire to get my testosterone racing over "claiming" a woman I might have an edge in sweet-talking a female into letting me room with her if I find an offer that's just too good to pass up.

Thanks, everyone!
Old 08-07-2010, 08:31 AM
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 26,828,884 times
Reputation: 42860
Originally Posted by RestonRunner86 View Post
...so when the time does come that I do move I can have a better chance of assuaging a woman's concerns if I happen to find my "dream place" with a "females only" ad.
Umm, I know you mean well, but the odds of you having "a better chance of assuaging a woman's concerns" with an issue like this are nil. Zip. Nada. Not gonna happen. If you see an ad that says "female only" that means they want to talk to females ONLY. If a stranger who is male answers their ad, they won't want to talk to you. Why not just stick to ads that are looking for guy roommates? Or, run your own ad.

Last edited by Caladium; 08-07-2010 at 08:49 AM..
Old 08-07-2010, 09:03 AM
10,596 posts, read 12,086,197 times
Reputation: 6457
[quote=Caladium;15372911Why not just stick to ads that are looking for guy roommates? Or, run your own ad.[/quote]

I agree that I think you should run your own ad. You might actually get approached by females who are willing to room with you.

As a much older female these days, I can remember back to when I was younger and a strange male roommate would have been a concern for the safety factor. I would have (and still would) room with a straight or gay male provided I could get some great references on him (so, this means I'd sort of have to know him or know some people in his circle). I probably would not live with a guy that I could get no background info on. And it's due to the physical aspect for safety.
Old 08-07-2010, 09:30 AM
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,830 posts, read 26,338,550 times
Reputation: 6895
I agree with stan4 and Caladium, and one of the most significant reasons can be a potential suitor. Many boyfriends can be jealous of another guy who lives in the same household, regardless of orientation. And, while it's bad enough if another guy lives there prior to the beginning of your relationship, it's even worse if one moves in during the course of the relationship. In the face of a perceived threat from another male in her household, or in a protective interest, the introduction of another guy can cause friction in the romantic relationship, which can transfer into the roommate relationship. And, with all the stress of work, many women just don't need the extra hassle.

And, remember, the women are living in the housing themselves, so they do have the right to select a roommate based upon gender preference. It reflects their comfort level with the situation, and should not be interpreted as a malicious attack against the male gender.
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare
(As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)

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Old 08-07-2010, 01:59 PM
2,670 posts, read 4,519,008 times
Reputation: 2117
I'm surprised no one seems to have mentioned the privacy issue--the same principle as why there are segregated restrooms when there are multiple stalls (i.e., one stalls, such as airplane restrooms, are excepted), just extended to a few more spaces. A lot of women in my generation (older than yours), and maybe some who are younger, simply do not want to share close spaces with men with whom they aren't involved. For example, they don't want to have to think to wear a bathrobe when crossing the hall to the bathroom, and they don't want to be seen if they don't feel like wearing one.

I'm not saying the other reasons aren't also valid. I'm just adding to the list.
Old 08-07-2010, 04:45 PM
Location: Alexandria, VA
206 posts, read 380,484 times
Reputation: 129
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
3. A lot of women don't want their future prospective dates to be put off.
I don't agree with the other sexist crap, but this one I get. As a gay guy, if I date another gay guy and he has gay guys for roomies, it creeps me out. Not so if they are straight guys or girls of any type. (Personally I prefer people who don't have roommates at all, but I know it's hard in this area where the rents are sky high.)

In my experience you'll run into drama (jealousy on somebody's part, etc.) with that type of situation.
Old 08-07-2010, 06:15 PM
Location: Northern Virginia
1,419 posts, read 3,011,340 times
Reputation: 434
I would agree that these women don't want to share with a man due to safety reasons initially as well as all the other reasons noted here. I do think there's nothing wrong with asking them if they'd consider you if you found the place of your dreams.
Old 08-07-2010, 06:31 PM
Location: Alexandria, VA
206 posts, read 380,484 times
Reputation: 129
I knew this thread reminded me of something I had seen before:

E-mails from an ******* (uses the word a-hole, so maybe NSFW)
Old 08-07-2010, 06:48 PM
Location: Virginia-Shenandoah Valley
6,553 posts, read 10,840,172 times
Reputation: 5555
Is this a serious question? Heck, I'm a male and I would expect women to prefer living with other women vs some strange guy.
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