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Old 10-29-2010, 12:46 PM
 
Location: NoVa
93 posts, read 334,439 times
Reputation: 49

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Cheer up and take baby steps at being more sociable. I've been here ~4 years now. I made some good friends but even I get lonely and depress at times. I think volunteering is a great way for slowly meeting people. If you want, shoot me a message and we can volunteer together. I'm a girl btw because my sn came come off as being a guy =).
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:50 PM
 
13 posts, read 19,958 times
Reputation: 10
i didnt really take the time to read all the replies, so although this may be repetitive, ill give my 2cents.

when i first moved here, and knew no one (at age 21)
I went on craigslist and browsed the activities page. I also looked around on meetup to find people that had some sharing interests.
you need to be really outgoing and open-minded to find success in things like this however.
for example on craigslist activities i found me a couple of indoor/outdoor soccer leagues since im into and play soccer. that helped me meet a few people, and i mean, once your apart of a team, networking just expands exponentially.
i also enjoy playing texas holdem, and i found a few meetup groups and home games, and legal free cash prize games from craigslist.

good luck.
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:21 PM
 
206 posts, read 767,548 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx View Post
I think you might have agoraphobia. I am not a counselor or anything but it sounds more than basic shyness, lack of potential friends, or being in a mean/nasty area.

I only say this because I am a military brat. I was born on a military base and moved every 2-3 yrs. So I know what it's like to pick up and leave friends and get accustomed to a new place and new friends, over and over and over again. You've been somewhere permanent for awhile and it doesn't seem normal to reject social situations and turn to the internet as the sole form of socialization.

There are some great suggestions here from Poster regarding meeting new people at church, doing hobbies, taking classes/school, volunteering, etc. Participating in these activities will introduce you to people who have similar interests. The one worry is that if you have some kind of condition or anxiety, then these things won't help either until you come to terms/obtain treatment. Best of luck and I hope things work out for you.
i don't have agoraphobia. i was actually seeing a therapist while at college to try to figure out my social situation. funny thing is half a semester of once a week 1 hour sessions, she gave me a clean bill of mental health and said that there was nothing wrong with me and that i was too normal to be needing her services. lol.

i don't know. i mean, in the past, everytime i moved to a new place, leaving my old home and friends was heartbreaking and terrible but after a while, i would find new friends in my new environment. it's just, moving to america specifically where during my two years in high school, 2 years in community college and 2 years in a "real" college that i didn't come upon opportunities to meet with people and make real friends. i can't decide if it was just me or was it a mix of my social ineptness and the inherent limitation of the situation i was placed in.
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Marshall-Shadeland, Pittsburgh, PA
32,613 posts, read 77,432,847 times
Reputation: 19101
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v View Post
I'm intrigued. Sounds like Housewives of DC. Will any details be forthcoming?
It's actually a very dramatic, interesting, and exciting story of how playing a game of chess in one's head at all times can work out to one's favor in the long-run, but since I know how "well-liked" I am on this sub-forum I'd prefer to not go into vivid details. Let's just say the moral that others should learn is "never take your friends for granted." I was taken for granted in so many ways, and now that my own relocation is "real" it's too late for others to make in-roads into my life ever again.
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:47 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 6,669,194 times
Reputation: 1291
Quote:
Originally Posted by mariagostrey View Post
it's just, moving to america specifically where during my two years in high school, 2 years in community college and 2 years in a "real" college that i didn't come upon opportunities to meet with people and make real friends. i can't decide if it was just me or was it a mix of my social ineptness and the inherent limitation of the situation i was placed in.
I'm sorry, this will sound harsh, but those are the most unlimited places to make friends. I'll agree with what many others have said; find some things to volunteer for. Finding activities that you enjoy will make you enjoyable to others.
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Old 10-29-2010, 05:47 PM
 
12,905 posts, read 15,614,527 times
Reputation: 9393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankeesfan View Post
I'm sorry, this will sound harsh, but those are the most unlimited places to make friends. I'll agree with what many others have said; find some things to volunteer for. Finding activities that you enjoy will make you enjoyable to others.
For the most part I agree. Especially a 4-year college with the whole dorm experience. I don't mean to be "bragging" about my daughter because she's certainly not perfect but she made a good number of "good" friends during her first year away from home. She is no longer at that school but has remained in touch with those friends and is, in fact, visiting them this weekend.

She is enrolled at NoVA now and there is no socialness there and this from a girl who can make friends in just about any situation.

I remember being in community college 100 years ago and there were no connections there like in a 4 year college. You come and go and go home. No one really makes a lot of friends there.

But I agree that high school and 4 year universities where you live away from home are some of the biggest friend-making opportunities.
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Old 10-29-2010, 06:57 PM
 
Location: 5 years in Southern Maryland, USA
840 posts, read 2,821,602 times
Reputation: 522
Try the following:
Washington Women Outdoors Home
The Smithsonian Associates - EDUCATING and ENTERTAINING AUDIENCES for more than 40 years
Potomac Pedalers Touring Club
First Class, Inc. - Your Center for Lifelong Learning
Homepage of the Center Hiking Club.
Capital Hiking Club - Home
Wanderbirds Hiking Club Washington DC
Ski Club of Washington, DC (SCWDC)

Also, examine the last pages of the "Weekender" section of each Friday's Washington Post, for scheduled group activities. And similarly the classified notices in the "Recreation Register" newspaper which is distributed free each month to Federal employees.
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Old 10-29-2010, 07:20 PM
 
Location: 5 years in Southern Maryland, USA
840 posts, read 2,821,602 times
Reputation: 522
In this metro area, you should be able to find TONS of volunteer associations to help with --- various environmental causes, political parties, helping handicapped or disadvantaged, tutoring/ mentoring, animals, helping youth, etc. - whatever you're passionate about.

If you're agnostic, then try visiting a Unitarian Church - they have no creed at all, just the pursuit of general justice and dignity for mankind.
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:10 PM
 
67 posts, read 178,491 times
Reputation: 39
Maria,

You are a third culture kid. Have you read the books on this? Is you dad still in the FS? If yes, can you use his contacts to see if there are any seminars on TVKs or reintegration that you can attend? From what you wrote, it's clear that you never really reintegrated when you returned from overseas. I strongly recommend that you read books on Third Culture Kids and search for a group of fellow TCKs (yahoo groups perhaps?). Being in the greater DC area, there have got to be a bunch of them around. People who haven't experienced this have a tough time understanding. We just returned ourselves and our daughter is now in 10th grade. Fortunately, this is home for us and she already had friends here. Surprisingly, she no longer cares for many of her old friends. They can't relate to her life experiences and she finds them shallow and naive. Many of her new friends are fellow "serial relocators" who've had unusual life experiences....in a way, she's established her own TCKs circle.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:18 PM
 
47 posts, read 81,578 times
Reputation: 27
try meetup, there are some shy meetups where my sis went to and that helped her. i know the organizer as well he is very kind and friendly.
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