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Old 02-15-2011, 06:53 PM
 
373 posts, read 717,230 times
Reputation: 378

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No physical altercations, but the past week has really worn out my patience with the area. First I was the victim of a hit and run (I'm okay, my car needed a bit of surgery). Then I spent several days working insane hours and sitting in insane traffic in times and places one would think there would be no traffic.

And just a moment ago, a neighbor "welcomed" me to my new neighborhood by ambushing me on my doorstep and accusing me of not picking up after my dog. "I noticed that you're new around here, and there's been a lot of new dog poop, so I wanted to make sure that you were aware you have to pick up after your dog."

Dear neighbor, if you are reading this, you are a jackass. You didn't even bother introducing yourself.

And for the record, not only do I pick up after my dog, and even end up sharing my bags because others never seem to bring enough -- my bags are biodegradable. And I don't let my dog pounce on other people's dogs. NEIGHBOR.

Last edited by seiketsu; 02-15-2011 at 07:04 PM..
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Old 02-15-2011, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Virginia
8,121 posts, read 12,694,716 times
Reputation: 3771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
It's a little bit of both, IMO. As you point out, someone taking the beltway is much more likely to encounter aggression than someone taking side roads, or even roads like Algonkian Parkway.

But no matter where you drive, sometimes it's the way you drive that's a big part of the probem. Not always, of course--we've all had moment of bad luck when you're stuck in traffic with a jerk and there's not much you can do to avoid it. OTOH, people who feel like they're "surrounded by bad drivers every day" might want to take a look at their own driving because that may be part of the problem.

There was an interesting article about aggressive walkers in the Wall Street Journal today, and many of the same observations apply to aggressive drivers. Aggressive drivers often draw near to other aggressive drivers (as oppossed to more passive people who try to avoid them). Their own aggression sometimes sets off aggression in nearby people. In other words, they create situations around themselves (even though they don't mean to), which is one reason they feel they're always surrounded by jerks. And they tend to be more aware of and angered by the people around them.
I think you're right and it's not just with experiences when driving. You see the differences in the comments people make about where they live in general. Some say that the people are rude, unfriendly, keep to themselves, are hurried etc. and others the total opposite. Some people know all of their neighbors and others couldn't give the first name of their neighbors. It is interesting how experiences vary.
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Old 02-15-2011, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Maine
2,018 posts, read 2,712,626 times
Reputation: 2799
Quote:
Originally Posted by seiketsu View Post
No physical altercations, but the past week has really worn out my patience with the area. First I was the victim of a hit and run (I'm okay, my car needed a bit of surgery). Then I spent several days working insane hours and sitting in insane traffic in times and places one would think there would be no traffic.

And just a moment ago, a neighbor "welcomed" me to my new neighborhood by ambushing me on my doorstep and accusing me of not picking up after my dog. "I noticed that you're new around here, and there's been a lot of new dog poop, so I wanted to make sure that you were aware you have to pick up after your dog."

Dear neighbor, if you are reading this, you are a jackass. You didn't even bother introducing yourself.

And for the record, my pickup bags are biodegradable. And I don't let my dog pounce on other people's dogs. NEIGHBOR.
seiketsu, I'm sorry this week has been so rough for you. Glad you weren't hurt in the hit and run.

Regarding the neighbor: Though the neighbor is trying to protect a certain quality of life in the neighborhood, he chose a rude, thoughtless way to approach you about the matter. It can be really annoying when some people give tedious lessons to the newcomers on what not to do in their neighborhood.

I hope things improve for you from now on.
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Old 02-15-2011, 07:31 PM
 
373 posts, read 717,230 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fern435 View Post
seiketsu, I'm sorry this week has been so rough for you. Glad you weren't hurt in the hit and run.

Regarding the neighbor: Though the neighbor is trying to protect a certain quality of life in the neighborhood, he chose a rude, thoughtless way to approach you about the matter. It can be really annoying when some people give tedious lessons to the newcomers on what not to do in their neighborhood.

I hope things improve for you from now on.
Edited my original post to emphasize that I do in fact pick up after my dog. Upon rereading, I realize it's a "you had to be there" situation to understand why it really got under my skin.

First of all, it was dark, and I'm a small female with a small dog trying to get into my house. A larger man with a big dog (barking, pulling at its leash) came up behind me. I had never seen him before. But all seemed well, the dogs wanted to sniff and circle.

While we waited for them to play, the guy said, "So, I noticed you're new to the neighborhood." Thinking he was going to do what every other person I'd recently met had done -- introduce himself and say welcome -- I smiled and nodded. Instead he said, "Do you know you're supposed to pick up after your dog?"

I raised my eyebrows, slowly said, "Yessss. I do clean up."

That's when he said because I'm new, I must be the one dirtying up the neighborhood. I just repeated that I do pick up after my dog and thanked him for the concern. I was too baffled to say anything else. After the fact, I thought of a dozen zingers I could have thrown back. But nothing would have changed the fact that I have at least one neighbor who is just rude as all get out, and would probably be the type to key my car to teach me a lesson for some mysterious offense.

Yeah, guess you had to be there.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:28 AM
 
267 posts, read 442,206 times
Reputation: 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by oneasterisk View Post
And another thing is that VA is a shall issue state for Concealed Handgun Permits. You never know if that other car your starting something with will let fly some lead

Trucker charged with attempted murder in I-95 road-rage case - washingtonpost.com
You should be far more concerned about the people who carry guns WITHOUT a permit.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:58 AM
 
Location: Censorshipville...
2,721 posts, read 6,270,728 times
Reputation: 1589
Quote:
Originally Posted by SPHokie View Post
You should be far more concerned about the people who carry guns WITHOUT a permit.
Why? In VA it's legal to Open Carry without a permit. Should I be worried about those folks?

I'm sure you mean the folks that CONCEAL carry WITHOUT a permit
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Maine
2,018 posts, read 2,712,626 times
Reputation: 2799
seiketsu, I have been through a few situations here in NoVA that were remarkably similar to yours. This is the first area I've ever lived where I've seemed to be more of a bully magnet (due to my smaller size/younger appearance?). Perhaps it's because they don't know me. I get it from both men and women who seem to have other issues (passive-aggressive, narcissistic personalities, mostly). They are angry, unhappy, or stressed, so they take it out on a suitable stranger.

A few posters here on NoVA city-data will insist that those of us who've experienced rude/aggressive treatment must be projecting 'something' to cause others to treat us this way. It's all our fault that some people want to be bullies! What some people fail to acknowledge is that the bully does the initiating of the rude behavior, as in your situation. You did absolutely nothing to that guy that warranted such treatment.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:26 AM
 
857 posts, read 1,004,131 times
Reputation: 541
I have to agree with the bully statement! I also agree with the stature statement as well. I've lived all sorts of places and being small has never been an issue (even in the midwest where people are HUGE [no offense ]) and I've never been a "target" as much as I have here. I'm not sure if there really is a correlation, but I will say that there are quite a few bullies in this area. The name of the game here though is passive aggression which IMO is worse than coming in your face and knocking your lights out. In seiketsu's situation that was total passive aggression and the exact way it seems people up here like to air their grievances


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fern435 View Post
seiketsu, I have been through a few situations here in NoVA that were remarkably similar to yours. This is the first area I've ever lived where I've seemed to be more of a bully magnet (due to my smaller size/younger appearance?). Perhaps it's because they don't know me. I get it from both men and women who seem to have other issues (passive-aggressive, narcissistic personalities, mostly). They are angry, unhappy, or stressed, so they take it out on a suitable stranger.

A few posters here on NoVA city-data will insist that those of us who've experienced rude/aggressive treatment must be projecting 'something' to cause others to treat us this way. It's all our fault that some people want to be bullies! What some people fail to acknowledge is that the bully does the initiating of the rude behavior, as in your situation. You did absolutely nothing to that guy that warranted such treatment.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 26,926,426 times
Reputation: 42862
<Gives seiketsu a big hug> I'm sorry you had a day like that... some days just really stink, don't they? Here's hoping today treats you better.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:46 AM
 
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
14,131 posts, read 27,104,931 times
Reputation: 6826
Try standing a little too long in one place at Trader Joes on a busy Saturday. Oh, maybe that would me be being passive aggressive.
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