Severe ADHD child, first time N. VA, work @ Pentagon/vicinity (Arlington: rental, condos)

[DangerBoy'sDad]

My son was JUST diagnosed with severe ADHD and other issues. I'm military, and because of his situation we have to do a very short-term, emergency transfer from overseas, since care isn't available here. (Arriving end of August/beg. of Sept.) I asked for a Pentagon job because of the great N. VA schools reputation, proximity to professionals for treatment. (One friend advised living at Ft. Meade/Howard county area in MD, the logic being that commute from MD to Pentagon is less severe than from N VA -??)

We're willing to sacrifice a long commute for me, or live in a tiny house, in exchange for an optimal school/treatment environment. But I'd rather avoid a long commute, b/c I need to be available for my son's care/family situation. If we buy a house, it'd be our first time.

I'm grateful for any help.

[nanlev]

Hi there,

If you're looking to rent, there's a fabulous community right down the road from the Pentagon called Arlington Village. They are brick townhome condos. I've lived there since 2002 and we are now selling to relocate, but I always see properties up for rent. It's in an excellent school district, not sure about special needs schools or facilities, but you're so close to DC, I'm sure there's something. The web site is arlingtonvillage.com. It's a historic community in a park-like setting, but so close to everything. Lots more kids then when I first starting living there, there's a pool, perhaps your son would enjoy that. In this market, you may be able to find a month to month rent situation.

If you're looking to buy, homes in the area are very pricey, which is why we're relocating. Smaller single family homes (2 to 3 bedrooms and 1 or 1.5 bath) that may need some work start in the $500,000's. Go on homesdatabase.com and try the 22204 zip code.

BTW, the commute from Ft. Meade to the Pentagon would be a tough one, probably an hour or maybe longer, depending on when you time it. Howard County may be closer, but you're still dealing with traffic on 495 (DC Beltway). NoVa (Arlington, Alexandria, Fairfax, Falls Church) is your best bet for working at the Pentagon.

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Nancy

Originally Posted by DangerBoy'sDad

My son was JUST diagnosed with severe ADHD and other issues. I'm military, and because of his situation we have to do a very short-term, emergency transfer from overseas, since care isn't available here. (Arriving end of August/beg. of Sept.) I asked for a Pentagon job because of the great N. VA schools reputation, proximity to professionals for treatment. (One friend advised living at Ft. Meade/Howard county area in MD, the logic being that commute from MD to Pentagon is less severe than from N VA -??)

We're willing to sacrifice a long commute for me, or live in a tiny house, in exchange for an optimal school/treatment environment. But I'd rather avoid a long commute, b/c I need to be available for my son's care/family situation. If we buy a house, it'd be our first time.

I'm grateful for any help.

[csread]

You didn't say what age your son is, or if this is your first school aged child. My son is ADD and also has learning disabilities. He was officially diagnosed in 3rd grade, but I knew well before then that there were issues. No matter what school system your son is in, he will be entitled to an IEP - Individualized Educational Plan - if the school system finds that his disability impairs his ability to function in a regular classroom. This is not the end of the world, and you will find in this day and age around here, he is in very good company. My son will graduate from Fairfax High School next year and it's been a journey, but not so terrible as one might assume. In every situation there are gifts, sometimes you look harder than others to find what they are. Fairfax County has excellent schools as a whole, and keep in mind there is a Metro system here that takes you right to the Pentagon, along with a commuter rail, ridesharing and a host of options for commuting.

My advice is to first find a Realtor. I'm not one myself, but I work in the industry and know some extraordinary people who will have the answers you are looking for. Secondly, as soon as you have settled on an area, make contact with whatever medical professional will be overseeing your son's care. There will be forms to fill out for the school system, especially if medication is involved, and they will want a written diagnosis before they can process him as special needs. When my son was little, they separated out the "LD" kids from the others and it created a horrible stigma he has still not gotten over. Nowadays in Fairfax County, they put them in "team taught" classes with "regular" kids and no one knows who the kids are who need extra help - there is just a second teacher in there to help anyone who needs it. This is a huge leap forward in education.

My best advice is to relax. Kids are enormously resilient, flexible, adaptable and creative. Long before there were labels like ADHD, Dyslexic, Learning Disabled, Asperger's Syndrome, OCD - kids had to figure out how to cope and adapt. And they did, and they do, and they always will. Contact a good Realtor.

[Tish Thompson]

I think it's highly admirable that you are willing to make those sacrifices for your child. Trust me, there are a lot of parents who would not do that.

Your friend was right....if you choose northern VA, your commute is going to be rough. But even if you decide to live in MD, the commute will still be rough. The concern with commuting from MD is dealing with traffic on 495 Even if you came around the other side of the beltway, you'd have the same dilemma crossing the Wilson Bridge.

No matter where you live, you'd be better off (traffic wise) if you work very early, or work something of an odd schedule..go in later in the morning...like 10ish, or even early afternoon if your job allows for that.

It will all boil down to how close you want to be do your sons medical providers and your budget.

[DangerBoy'sDad]

Thanks to nanlev, csread and Tish for your responses. They each provided distinctly valuable information, and I'm grateful.

Regarding commutes, everyone focused on using the Metro from NoVa or driving from MD. The friend who recommended Ft. Meade/vicinity used a commuter train that runs from Baltimore to Union station, then took Metro. I don't know how long it took, and he's out of contact for a while. Thoughts?

My son is six, and just finished kindergarten. He's our oldest, so we're dealing with choosing a school for the first time, and have this added wrinkle of IEP, for which we have plenty of written support from doctors to verify need.

Again, thanks for the encouragement and information. I welcome further contributions from any and all.

-DBD

[saganista]

In my opinion, it would be insane to prefer Ft.Meade and/or Howard County to NoVa if you are working at the Pentagon. As a guess, this would triple your commuting time. Per a post above, there is a Metro station in the basement of the Penatgon. It is less than a 25 minute ride from the Franconia/Springfield station...

[saganista]

Originally Posted by DangerBoy'sDad

Regarding commutes, everyone focused on using the Metro from NoVa or driving from MD. The friend who recommended Ft. Meade/vicinity used a commuter train that runs from Baltimore to Union station, then took Metro. I don't know how long it took, and he's out of contact for a while. Thoughts?

That would be the MARC train. Service from Laurel to Union Station would be 30-40 minutes on the train (some trains make more stops than others). You'd then have a 7-8 minute walk to switch to Metro, and with a change of trains involved there too, the run to the Pentagon would be 20-25 minutes. You're basically looking at 75 minutes from Laurel versus 25 from Franconia.

Originally Posted by DangerBoy'sDad

My son is six, and just finished kindergarten. He's our oldest, so we're dealing with choosing a school for the first time, and have this added wrinkle of IEP, for which we have plenty of written support from doctors to verify need.

My own son went through the IEP program in Fairfax County, and from my experience, I can say that they are well prepared. The key is for one or both of you and your wife to be continuously involved in helping to guide that process. You will have insights that the school staff does not have and vice versa. Working honestly together, an appropriately supportive program can indeed be built and successfully implemented.

[claremarie]

In my opinion, it would be insane to prefer Ft.Meade and/or Howard County to NoVa if you are working at the Pentagon.

What he said. The Pentagon is in Arlington, which is a much smaller school district than Fairfax, and also has excellent special education services. I've lived in both districts, and each has its strong points. Arlington's advantage is its size -- even if your son's needs require a special classroom setting apart from your neighborhood school, for example, it will not be very far away, and it can be easier to work with a smaller bureaucracy. You might want to check out their websites and contact the folks in the respective special ed offices before deciding where to live.

[Tish Thompson]

Originally Posted by DangerBoy'sDad

Thanks to nanlev, csread and Tish for your responses. They each provided distinctly valuable information, and I'm grateful.

Regarding commutes, everyone focused on using the Metro from NoVa or driving from MD. The friend who recommended Ft. Meade/vicinity used a commuter train that runs from Baltimore to Union station, then took Metro. I don't know how long it took, and he's out of contact for a while. Thoughts?

My son is six, and just finished kindergarten. He's our oldest, so we're dealing with choosing a school for the first time, and have this added wrinkle of IEP, for which we have plenty of written support from doctors to verify need.

Again, thanks for the encouragement and information. I welcome further contributions from any and all.

-DBD

DBD...after reading the advice your friend gave you (train from B'more to Union Station....the train he's referring to is the MARC), I still think your commute would be shorter if you stayed in Northern VA.

As for the IEP, it's a great benefit to your son as long as you and your wife stay involved. I'm still going through IEPs with my 17 year old son. It's a cumbersome process, but well worth the extra work.

[DangerBoy'sDad]

Good information from everyone, thank you. I accept your wisdom and am looking at NOVA exclusively; I made contact with a realtor recommended by a friend and I'm searching independently.

I see a lot of rental properties, but it's hard to assess them online (Google Earth only reveals so much). One thing not revealed is the quality of the city and neighborhood - dimensions like crime, government, infrastructure, amenities, and schools. Obviously schools are OUR dominant consideration, so I'd like to poll opinion on elementary schools, and school districts.

Are there any in Fairfax County (and the surrounding area) that are either famously good, or infamously bad - especially in how they handle kids requiring an IEP?

Thanks in advance.
DBD