U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-04-2012, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Fairfax County
1,534 posts, read 3,316,087 times
Reputation: 507

Advertisements

After I had my second, I wanted to get out of the house and NOT eat "home cooking."

I agree with the others -- reply to the organizers that you will not be participating. You need not tell them why as (frankly) it's not their business.

Now, if you WANT to do something for your acquaintances down the street, I suggest little things, such as bringing in the trash/recycle bins for them, bringing the newspaper to their doorstep, etc. We do that for one another on my street (cul-de-sac). When you have a newborn, sometimes it's hard to do those little things, and a neighbor bringing in things for you does make a big difference. Plus it doesn't cost much other than a few minutes of time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-05-2012, 05:47 AM
 
56 posts, read 100,644 times
Reputation: 43
My response is coming from being on the recieving end of the meals.

11 Years ago when I was the single mom to 3 young children I had cardiac surgery and my group of friends all wanted to help out with meals.

It was a very kind gesture and my daughters and I were very grateful for the effort but oh my gosh some of the meals were just horrid or things we did not like at all.

I agree with the other posters you do not have to give a reason why you do not want to participate.

If you want to do something I suggest stopping by with a cake and just sitting a spending time with the new mom and if your comfortable offer to "watch" the baby while she takes a shower. !
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,489 posts, read 9,556,888 times
Reputation: 3656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlingtonian View Post
Also, I'm from the South, and providing meals to a neighbor when there's a death in the family is customary--but a baby? I've never heard of that. It's not like a baby is a surprise.
I'm with you. A lot of babies have been born in my extended social circle this year. I don't understand bringing food to what was a planned, wanted life change. Stressful? Sure--but starting a new job was stressful, going to grad school full time while working full time was stressful, taking red eye flights is stressful, but no one brings food for that!

The exception was when a friend's baby was born over a month early. The new parents were caught really off guard and were really overwhelmed, and it was obvious they needed a little extra help to get on their feet. They had no family locally, so friends stepped in to give some support the first week.

Food is for unplanned stressful circumstances.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 06:49 AM
 
Location: New-Dentist Colony
5,738 posts, read 8,943,215 times
Reputation: 3857
OK, back online now and just seeing the new replies.

OrangeFish: Great ideas; thanks! I would be happy to do any of those things. In fact, they're currently doing a DIY project on their house, and I told the husband I'd be happy to come over on the weekend and provide any brute, unskilled manual labor, [edit/update] and it looks like I'll be helping him today.

Boo57: Thanks to you as well; that had been a concern of mine. I mean, I like my own cooking, but some people may not like spaghetti with banana-corn sauce. Who doesn't like that?

CaliTerp07: Great points all! Thank you. The truth is that on a weeekend, I could probably find the time to cook something--but it just seems unnecessary, and we do resent the high-pressure way the one organizer has seen fit to present the idea. ("Please reply to all with the dates you pick"--can you believe it?)

I really appreciate everyone who has responded. You all make this such a great forum. I'm kind of amazed to be writing this, but I'm surprised to realize just how much the Internet can be a way that people connect to each other and help each other with real problems. Yeah, sappy, whatever. But when you think about all the stupidity, mindless bickering, pointless theoretical argument (which I'm super guilty of!), etc., on the Internet, people with the sincere desire to help, great self-expression, and really useful insights make me think hey, maybe this Internet thing is not entirely just a gradual downhill slide into some Orwellian future of ungrammatical robo-people furiously robo-tweeting against each other.

Sorry, folks--too much French press coffee!

Last edited by Carlingtonian; 02-05-2012 at 08:17 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Leesburg
154 posts, read 389,809 times
Reputation: 118
When I broke my arm a few months ago our next door neighbor brought over a casserole and dessert that lasted us a few days. It was a very nice gesture and much appreciated, as well as being super yummy. However, I could not imagine having my neighbor bringing us dinner for weeks on end. We have our own tastes and prefer to make/order out our own food. I think your neighbor who is expecting probably feels the same way and you never know if they have family staying with them that will be making/bringing food for them. I know that when we have a baby my mother-in-law will be staying with us and making our meals, as well as my parents bringing food since they live pretty close by. I think a lot of people have similar situations.

I think a gift for the baby will be preferred by the family. While your other neighbors appear to have good intentions, they are really going overboard. The responses you have been getting on this board are right on and tootie's response sounds perfect. Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 10:05 AM
 
Location: New-Dentist Colony
5,738 posts, read 8,943,215 times
Reputation: 3857
Thanks, Peanutrach! Indeed, culinary taste is pretty personal. We did give a baby gift, and I'm gonna help the dad with a house project here in a bit. I do hate to deprive anyone of my famous Brussels sprout-&-sardine salad ...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 10:37 AM
 
5,071 posts, read 8,618,430 times
Reputation: 2722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlingtonian View Post
OrangeFish: Great ideas; thanks! I would be happy to do any of those things. In fact, they're currently doing a DIY project on their house, and I told the husband I'd be happy to come over on the weekend and provide any brute, unskilled manual labor, [edit/update] and it looks like I'll be helping him today.
Everyone else had all the good ideas, but I bet this will be appreciated far more than pre-cooked food that the family either will feel obliged to eat or guilty about tossing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 12:30 PM
 
5,210 posts, read 9,102,901 times
Reputation: 5879
How about a pretty basket filled with a nice assortment of bagels and a couple of containers of cream cheese - topped with a pretty (pink or blue) bow.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Fairfax County
1,534 posts, read 3,316,087 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEB77 View Post
Everyone else had all the good ideas, but I bet this will be appreciated far more than pre-cooked food that the family either will feel obliged to eat or guilty about tossing.
I agree with JEB77 -- very nice, Carlingtonian!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-05-2012, 01:41 PM
 
Location: New-Dentist Colony
5,738 posts, read 8,943,215 times
Reputation: 3857
Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
How about a pretty basket filled with a nice assortment of bagels and a couple of containers of cream cheese - topped with a pretty (pink or blue) bow.
That's a nice idea; we might just do that. Thanks for the suggestion!

OrangeFish, you're too kind; I'm not the handiest guy in the world, but I do have two hands! Occasionally, they work in sync with what the brain tells them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:44 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top