U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-03-2012, 09:28 AM
 
38 posts, read 84,032 times
Reputation: 72

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom View Post
Daycare is so expensive here you are better off staying home and raising your own children. Let the flames fly!!
I agree with you and will burn with you!

I was paying $240/week when my son was pre-school age and $300 when he was an infant....making $15 an hour. AND keeping up with rent of $850/month. As a single parent. With NO child support OR help.

Sure I could have sent him to one of the fly by night daycare providers on CL for less...but then I would worry about him all day- NOT good. Bad enough if he gets sick I am the only one there to pick him up....

What childcare assistance? Fairfax County has a waiting list 3 years long. Ironically when I went to get on the list long ago, my $15/hour was TOO MUCH MONEY.

Even now as a schoolager I still pay $90/week for before/after care at a licensed daycare provider. I have no choice but to pay it, the powers that be at school won't let him just get off the bus and walk into our house...literally 25 yards and in plain view of the stop (why? I don't know they won't give me a clear answer!)....so I had to put him in a daycare situation.

For me, I HAVE to work. I refuse to sit on welfare. Sure I could sit at home and be there every day to get him off the bus and save money in paying a sitter....but there is no way I could live off TANF at only $323/month! I'll take my $1000 left a month after I paid the sitter and work with it....1000>323....sad but true. And with that 1k..I haven't paid not one bill or put gas in the car...life is hard out here if you're not making over $50k in this area (Fairfax County)....

And for those that ask- I was making as much as $22 an hour just last year and was doing ok- got laid off, and am now working for $10 an hour....part-time. At least I have a job right now, so I won't complain any more.

Last edited by Boomshakalaka!; 04-03-2012 at 09:38 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-03-2012, 09:54 AM
 
1,339 posts, read 2,957,841 times
Reputation: 2219
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom View Post
kutra11 - so sorry that your wife and you both have to work
You are merely being spiteful and vicious here.

I responded to your post "Daycare is so expensive here you are better off staying home and raising your own children." purely on the merit of your statement. I made absolutely no assumptions about you. There was an "if" in there!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kutra11 View Post
Why would I flame you? My wife and I earn enough money to afford day care. Now if you had other reasons to avoid day care such as spending quality time with kids and so on, that would be a different topic to debate. But otherwise I'm sorry you cannot afford day care if that's what you wanted to do. I do, however, hope you are saving for your kid(s) college education.
No one was debating the virtues or vices of working parents and stay-at-home parents. All I wrote was since my wife and I work, we save enough to afford day care. At no point did I boast that I was better off than you were. And I don't know why you assumed that my wife and I have to work because that only shows your presumptuousness.

In fact, I feel sorry for your inferiority complex that you had to defend yourself in response to a perfectly civil post that I wrote. If there was anything wrong or insulting in my previous post, please let me know and I can explain myself or apologize, if required.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 11:12 AM
 
4,711 posts, read 10,860,588 times
Reputation: 3773
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomshakalaka! View Post
...Even now as a schoolager I still pay $90/week for before/after care at a licensed daycare provider. I have no choice but to pay it, the powers that be at school won't let him just get off the bus and walk into our house...literally 25 yards and in plain view of the stop (why? I don't know they won't give me a clear answer!)....so I had to put him in a daycare situation....

The only students that must be met at the bus by a parent or guardian are: a) kindergartners, b) Head Start, or c) some special needs students.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:40 PM
 
Location: DMV
10,136 posts, read 11,611,578 times
Reputation: 3181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boomshakalaka! View Post
I agree with you and will burn with you!

I was paying $240/week when my son was pre-school age and $300 when he was an infant....making $15 an hour. AND keeping up with rent of $850/month. As a single parent. With NO child support OR help.

Sure I could have sent him to one of the fly by night daycare providers on CL for less...but then I would worry about him all day- NOT good. Bad enough if he gets sick I am the only one there to pick him up....

What childcare assistance? Fairfax County has a waiting list 3 years long. Ironically when I went to get on the list long ago, my $15/hour was TOO MUCH MONEY.

Even now as a schoolager I still pay $90/week for before/after care at a licensed daycare provider. I have no choice but to pay it, the powers that be at school won't let him just get off the bus and walk into our house...literally 25 yards and in plain view of the stop (why? I don't know they won't give me a clear answer!)....so I had to put him in a daycare situation.

For me, I HAVE to work. I refuse to sit on welfare. Sure I could sit at home and be there every day to get him off the bus and save money in paying a sitter....but there is no way I could live off TANF at only $323/month! I'll take my $1000 left a month after I paid the sitter and work with it....1000>323....sad but true. And with that 1k..I haven't paid not one bill or put gas in the car...life is hard out here if you're not making over $50k in this area (Fairfax County)....

And for those that ask- I was making as much as $22 an hour just last year and was doing ok- got laid off, and am now working for $10 an hour....part-time. At least I have a job right now, so I won't complain any more.
I feel bad for you. I appreciate that at least you are willing to make an honest living as opposed to just living free. It's become really obvious that the daycare system in this country is screwed up! It's to the point that unless you make a certain amount of money, it's almost not worth going through it while trying to keep a job. Then on the other side the people who work in that industry have to be able to make a living and feed their family too. So where's the middle ground?

At my job, we have a daycare here. I was excited to hear that but then I was informed that the price for my daughter (she was 3 months at the time) was going to be over $1400/month!!!! Needless to say I had to find alternative means.

In Bristow, VA, daycare can be just as expensive. I got some quotes from some of the daycare out there for not only my 2, soon to be 3 year old daughter, but also my second soon to be born daughter. Let's just put it like this, combined my wife and I were looking at paying $2000+ per month and this is in Western Prince William County!!!! I was in complete shock.

So even with everything I just said, I would never, never, NEVER place my daughters in an environment such as the one that is in the story. Daycare is expensive, but if it's to the point that you have to send your child to a place like this, then there is something wrong. To me, as the father I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to make sure that my children don't have to go to a place like that to protect my children. I'm willing to work a second job, pay a reliable relative, drive further out or whatever.

When parents send their child to a place like this, it's as if they are saying, in my opinion, that my job is more important than my children's well being. If it means we have to be homeless just to ensure our children's well being, I may be willing to go that far, but I can't imagine sending my child, especially an infant to a place like that where their life is in jeopardy. To me, there is no excuse for it. Sorry for my rant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 12:59 PM
 
37 posts, read 96,060 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by pgtitans View Post
I feel bad for you. I appreciate that at least you are willing to make an honest living as opposed to just living free.

When parents send their child to a place like this, it's as if they are saying, in my opinion, that my job is more important than my children's well being. If it means we have to be homeless just to ensure our children's well being, I may be willing to go that far, but I can't imagine sending my child, especially an infant to a place like that where their life is in jeopardy. To me, there is no excuse for it. Sorry for my rant.
What an insensitive comment -- these parents just lost their newborn baby. You have no idea what their situation was like. If they could have afforded Mary Poppins, I'm sure they would have picked that option instead.

ETA, if anything, be upset with our laws which provides no job protection and force many mothers to return to work 6 weeks after giving birth (if they're lucky to have that much time with their child)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 01:15 PM
 
Location: DMV
10,136 posts, read 11,611,578 times
Reputation: 3181
Quote:
Originally Posted by IcedChai View Post
What an insensitive comment -- these parents just lost their newborn baby. You have no idea what their situation was like. If they could have afforded Mary Poppins, I'm sure they would have picked that option instead.

ETA, if anything, be upset with our laws which provides no job protection and force many mothers to return to work 6 weeks after giving birth (if they're lucky to have that much time with their child)
Please don't take this the wrong way because I really do feel bad for those parents and especially for the child that lost it's life, but are you going to tell me that I should feel bad for parents who send their children in an environment with 22 other kids and expect that their child will be cared for? Really? Do you have children? Do you realize how insane that is?

An infant needs attention constantly which is why most states do not allow a care giver to have more than 3 infants at a time. Why should I feel bad about saying that it's wrong to put a child in that environment? We aren't talking about people who are oblivious to what was happening. The reason I stated that this is wrong is the exact reason why the child died, because there isn't enough care for that child available. This wasn't an accident, this was a child who died because he/she was placed in an unmanageable environment. Again I ask you, if you have to risk putting your child in that environment in an effort to keep your job, is it worth it? You are basically putting your child's life at risk, to keep your job? I'm sure that's a tough position to be in, but when you break it down, it's really the job or your child's well being. That is the reality that we have to live with in this country unfortunately.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 01:59 PM
 
37 posts, read 96,060 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by pgtitans View Post
Please don't take this the wrong way because I really do feel bad for those parents and especially for the child that lost it's life, but are you going to tell me that I should feel bad for parents who send their children in an environment with 22 other kids and expect that their child will be cared for? Really? Do you have children? Do you realize how insane that is?

An infant needs attention constantly which is why most states do not allow a care giver to have more than 3 infants at a time. Why should I feel bad about saying that it's wrong to put a child in that environment? We aren't talking about people who are oblivious to what was happening. The reason I stated that this is wrong is the exact reason why the child died, because there isn't enough care for that child available. This wasn't an accident, this was a child who died because he/she was placed in an unmanageable environment. Again I ask you, if you have to risk putting your child in that environment in an effort to keep your job, is it worth it? You are basically putting your child's life at risk, to keep your job? I'm sure that's a tough position to be in, but when you break it down, it's really the job or your child's well being. That is the reality that we have to live with in this country unfortunately.
Yes, I do have a child. When we researched childcare, I interviewed a number of nannies, visited multiple centers and in home-daycares. We conducted background checks and read state inspections reporting violations. I would quit if that kind of daycare was my only choice -- and why do I have that option? Because I have a husband who could support us if needed. I also have family nearby that could help us out.

I'm just saying reserve your judgement until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I doubt this family chose this daycare so they could save a few bucks and dine in 5 star restaurants every night. It's quite possible crap daycares like this are their only option. I'm blessed that I have other options. It's easy to say 'I'd rather be homeless' when the very real prospect isn't staring you in the face.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 02:11 PM
 
Location: DMV
10,136 posts, read 11,611,578 times
Reputation: 3181
Quote:
Originally Posted by IcedChai View Post
Yes, I do have a child. When we researched childcare, I interviewed a number of nannies, visited multiple centers and in home-daycares. We conducted background checks and read state inspections reporting violations. I would quit if that kind of daycare was my only choice -- and why do I have that option? Because I have a husband who could support us if needed. I also have family nearby that could help us out.

I'm just saying reserve your judgement until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I doubt this family chose this daycare so they could save a few bucks and dine in 5 star restaurants every night. It's quite possible crap daycares like this are their only option. I'm blessed that I have other options. It's easy to say 'I'd rather be homeless' when the very real prospect isn't staring you in the face.
I don't believe it's the only option and I never said that people were looking to dine in 5 star restaurants. Some people just feel like they have to keep their job, just because. I'm telling you this much, if my wife was not working and was unable to take of our daughters and that was my only option, I would take some alternative means. There are other options, but this is what these parents chose. If you send your child to a place like this, then you should be conscience of the risk that you place your child into. I would rather my child be in a questionable daycare that at least has adequate care than a place that is next to impossible for that child to be cared for.

And how do you know that I wasn't in those shoes already?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 04:29 PM
 
1,784 posts, read 2,982,096 times
Reputation: 1270
My personal theory:
The reason we're in this childcare mess is due to getting ourselves (as a society) trapped in a suboptimal equilibrium. Over the past several decades we gradually decided that having 2 incomes was much better than 1 (for obvious reasons at the start), and that extra revenue way more than offset childcare expenses. While this is a great situation if you are some of the only people doing it, over time, more and more went that route, and prices/inflation increased expectedly. Now we have home prices (and all the other markets they affect) that are priced based on dual-income households, and most families are trapped. So now that dual-income is the rule, not the exception, we've eventually ended up in a worse relative situation than when we started.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-03-2012, 05:26 PM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,750,418 times
Reputation: 946
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom View Post
Daycare is so expensive here you are better off staying home and raising your own children. Let the flames fly!!
Nope, I'm totally with you.
And when people say they "can afford daycare" so that's what they chose,
they do not take into account those things you cannot put a price on,
such as raising your own children.

I say that absolutely unapologetically.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
Similar Threads
View detailed profiles of:
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:18 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top