I hate NOVA/DC and I am blowing this joint!!! (Norfolk: spring break, school)

[throwsatfeet]

I agree with some of your complaints and disagree with others. My story is pretty typical of most young D.C residents. I moved to D.C after getting laid off from my investment banking job in Philly. I lasted 16 months before I became fed up with the city and was offered my old job back in Philly. So i guess I'm the cliche D.C young professional. Here is my take on my experience in D.C.

Being from the Philly area, I found people in Arlington and the District to be shockingly nice. I was constantly caught off guard by people wanting to start conversation with me in my building, the metro and at work. Starting conversations with strangers is a no-no in Philly and New York. After moving to the D.C metro area I came to the realization that my people skills were lacking and I never really adjusted. Given that people are complaining about the unfriendlyness of the people, I don't think I'd fit in well in other parts of the country.

I am the guy in your elevator that won't talk to you. The reason being that I don't know or trust you. When you grow up in a rough area and see confrontations arise out of looking at somebody the wrong way, you learn quickly that even the most normal looking people can be dangerous psychos. I think people in the NE have established social circles and have no need for outsiders. Approaching an attractive female in a non-social setting can definitely lead to a fist fight. We don't easily adjust well to goofy looking dudes chatting us up on the metro. Even when attractive women tried to chat me up I was still skeptical. This is my loss for sure, but I'm just trying to explain why "we" won't talk to you.

The cost of living is definitely out of control. DC metro residents make well above the national average, and commuting is an absolute nightmare. This makes the proximity of residence ridiculously valuable. Everyone wisely spends their entire paycheck to avoid sitting in traffic for more than 30 minutes. The orange line Arlington neighborhoods are the most overpriced rentals in the world. $2k per month to live in a neighborhood with zero decent restaurants, bars, coffeshops, etc is an absolute joke. You get proximity to metro, but after riding the metro for a year, I can attest to it being the worst public transit system in the world. Over crowding, delays, toursits, and the heat make it absolutely unbearable.

Living downtown is definitely a better alternative, but the housing costs are actually higher than Arlington. So now I'm living in D.C. and paying Manhattan prices so that I can walk to work and Whole Foods. I liked DC and the people, but the cost of living doesn't justify the lifestyle. The easy way to measure this is by looking at the reasons people relocate to the city. People move there because they are desperate for a job. That's it. Nobody wakes up and decides to move to D.C for fun.

I also agree that your social and professional success depends entirely on where you went to college. It seems like 75% of the population is a transient from either Uva, VT, Penn St, or a city college. If you didn't go to these schools, good luck on finding a job at a large firm or a group of friends. It won't impair your dating life because there are a ton of lonely single people, but I definitely did get a sense that I didn't belong because I didn't go to a large state U.

The weather is absolutely miserable. You can count the number days that it's bearable to be outside on two hands. The winter is way too cold and the summer is unbearably hot.

Overall, D.C is a nice place to live if you are a white bread yuppie greek life... from a major State U, and get into the gov't contracting racket straight out of college. If that doesn't define you, you probably won't feel welcome in D.C. D.C people are pretentious but aren't cool or good looking enough to be intimidating. The extremes aren't as big as you'll see in other cities. Nobody is incredibly wealthly or cool, but there aren't many blue collar types walking around either. Everyone seemed to be equally vanilla regardless of race or ethnicity. In the end, the carbon copy yuppie scum, weather, and cost of living out weigh the career opportunities and lifestyle. If all of your frat bros move to the city and you get a decent job I'd recommend DC because you'll always have job stability and a reasonably fun social life. If you are outdoorsy or are just looking to experience something new and exciting don't move to D.C.

[stpickrell]

If it's so great out of DC, then move. Spare those of us who enjoy it your misery. (Much of it is 20somethings discovering that yes, being on your own isn't a non-stop party unless you're making at least 70k a year, in which case you're probably working quite a bit, or spouses who didn't really want to move to the area.)

Either you'll like your new home or you'll be complaining about your new city. Win-win.

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by throwsatfeet

I am the guy in your elevator that won't talk to you. The reason being that I don't know or trust you. When you grow up in a rough area and see confrontations arise out of looking at somebody the wrong way, you learn quickly that even the most normal looking people can be dangerous psychos. . . We don't easily adjust well to goofy looking dudes chatting us up on the metro. . .This is my loss for sure, but I'm just trying to explain why "we" won't talk to you.

I am originally from the Philly/South Jersey area too and I think this just may be something from coming from that area. I was not comfortable either about people approaching me when I first arrived in the DC area. I was just suspicious of people. IOW, if someone stopped me to ask what time it was, I was suspicious that they might be stalling so their buddy could rob me. If someone stood to close to me, they could pick-pocket me. Yes, out of habit, when seated at a restaurant I always pick the seat facing the front door (please, no Sopranos or Godfather jokes). Whenever I am anywhere in public (restaurant, movie theatre, the office) I always know where the exits are in case something happens.

I think I'll always be "on guard" in certain scenarios but also know that there are people who are just being plain friendly.

[eastli84]

Originally Posted by throwsatfeet

Here is my take on my experience in D.C.

Well said man...your POV is definitely a refreshing reality check compared to the frequent posts on here about DC being such a rude, dog-eat-dog, type A-northeastern metropolis. Those views are insanely overhyped IMO.

Completely agree with you about the friendlier people down here, and the total joke it is to pay ~$1800/mo for a one bedroom apartment next to a Cheesecake Factory/Crate and Barrell/Whole Foods. LAME!

I am enjoying my tunure down here and am very happy with the way my carreer has progressed, but frequent trips back home to NY help keep my sanity and northeastern sensibilites! Glad you were able to move back to the NE. I think your post makes for a "must read" for 20 somethings wanting to move here.

[elias9193]

I tend to agree with most of the the OP's observations San Diego is very nice
but it has its issues as well. Strip clubs on every corner it seemed, urban sprawl, some areas of downtown not too safe like anywhere else in the US.
I met a few rude people in San Diego, lots of snobby people as well around La Jolla so IMO there is no Nirvana only in your mind! Paradise is what you make it.

[Tiger Beer]

I spent two months in San Diego. It is a nice place. Pay is quite low though, but I guess the OP has a job, and this thread is two years old.

[sgtstef]

I originate from the NY-Metro area. I have lived all over the world. I can honestly say, this being my second time moving here for work, I mean no disrespect but NoVA is the worst place I have ever lived.

The first time I lived here, I moved from Tampa, FL which I LOVED LOVED LOVED. Work guided me and I followed, as one does. I lived 13 miles from work based on from a map-view looked like a sensible distance and acceptable cost equation. WRONG!! I used to spend collective days inthe car just white-knuckling and chain-smoking due to length of time and endless-useless dribble on the radio. I moved overseas for 3 years and was then returned to NoVA for work. I PROMISED myself that I would live on top of work no matter what the cost. I lucked out found a great place 4 miles from work.

{{Total side note that applies to the holier-than-thou government attitude: I selected my home to be close to work. The client location decided to make a career decision for me and now I have to be relocated to an auxiliary client site, making my commute 19 miles!!!!!!!! No heads-up, no negotiation.. just there you go== COMMUTE FROM H*LL!!}}

ok, I am back. I have been back a total 3 months. I have not met one person which whom I am friendly. I go to work every day and say GOOD MORNING! to the sound of crickets. I have actually had to play dumb and shout it again, as if they hadn't heard me. :} I have silently scorned numerous people about their response of "Um-hum" when I say "Thank you". Even waitstaff whose raison d'etre is to be polite to earn tips, have been less-than-impressive. This area reeks of a heightened sense of entitlement. It is disgraceful.

Storytime: I drove to pharmacy last night right next to my place. Was told after numerous amount of time and mini-drama that they did not have the meds. They told me that I can go to neighboring pharmacy of the same company 1.3 miles away. Now, if I wasn't living in Bizarro-traffic-world, I would have been completly not bothered. But here, that is a 3 day hike during rush hour (especially as the new traveller's day for Thanksgiving, tuesday before). I drove to said pharmacy, little hassle. I travelled the 1.1 mile back to my apartment. It took me 1.5 hours!!!!!!!!!! One and a half hours for a mile???!!!!! Not on the highway-- local streets!! That included obnoxious merges in front of me running the risk of hitting my car, short stops, people running red lights onthe opposite side to make it only to completely block the intersection!!!! OMG.

I know that we all have bad days, but there is an aura of gloom and doom that envelopes this area like no other. I have never been in a city where one lets a car get in in front and (a) I do not get a little thank-you wave that is just decency and (b) I get blaring horns fired at me for doing so. It makes one realize, "ahhhh that is why it is not done bc no one appreciates it. Eff it, I'm not doing it again." I used to drive into NYC for yearsssssss-- even those feiry-blooded New Yorkers would smile and yell, "thank you, sweetheart!!" (or some equally chummy noun)

And for all you VA folks defending your turf, Good on ya!! But do not tell the ones that point out the flaws here to "GET THE HECK OUT!!" We are here for a reason, or, trust me, it would be a ghosttown 'round these here parts. I would give anything to get back to Tampa, and I will. But for now, obligations speak louder than luxury. One cannot expect tht we will pull chalks move to greener pastures and live off ramen noodles and fumes to run our cars. Sometimes jobs are in a market area and that's that.

If it weren't for my BF who lives in quasi-neighboring MD, I would have less patience. Once my job changes, I will be off like the proverbial prom dress.

[toredyvik]

I don't understand what people don't like about the area (inside the beltway). I like it!

[chariega]

Originally Posted by sgtstef

I originate from the NY-Metro area. I have lived all over the world. I can honestly say, this being my second time moving here for work, I mean no disrespect but NoVA is the worst place I have ever lived.

I completely agree with your post! Don't get me wrong, there are things about NoVA/DC that can be enjoyable, BUT those things do not make up for the complete lack of empathy, ridiculously high cost of living, and overall hideousness of some of the people who inhabit this area.

Other than the govt being here, what is there? It's not like there are excellent services and amenities, the civil planning for this area looks to be done by 9th graders, and honestly there is nothing culturally distinctive about DC but for the pretentiousness of....I don't know why there is such pretentiousness in this area. What is there to be pretentious about? The DC area is pretty pedestrian when you think about it. There's barely awesome shopping (Tysons and Chevy Chase...ok, but what else...), no DC "scene," there's no beautiful weather, no beautiful scenery inside the beltway. I just don't get it. maybe i'm missing something. and of course there will be plenty of people who say, if you don't like it, move. trust me, i would if i could. le sigh.

[toredyvik]

I'll have to go ahead and disagree with you there.

-most everyone i've met in the DC area have been very friendly and outgoing. Everyone's new to the area and so everyone seems to be wanting to meet people!
-The cost of living is not that high....its lower than NYC (where i'm from) anyway..and if u get roomates, renting a townhouse is cheap!
-and there are pretty girls here too! i dont know what u mean about hideousness.
-while i'll agree that it is too suburban for my taste, as long as you're near a metro line, NoVA is great for getting into DC. I hope they keep expanding it though, and adding those light rail lines. there definitely need to be more transit options.
-pretentious? this area is downright middle class. i have yet to see much "uber-money" except for a small enclave in McLean or something. Go to Bergen Co, NJ or Greenwich, CT and then tell me u think NoVA is pretentious.
-shopping is awesome. try georgetown out.
-DC scene! its a great scene. adams morgan for the grime, u-street for the clubs, dupont for the class.
-it is beautiful weather! what better area for 4 distinct seasons? not too cold (but definitely on the hot side in summer)

my only real complaints are this:
-too far from the beach
-too far from the mountains
-bad traffic
-not enough urbanity
otherwise its great
-go to great falls for the scenery

i dunno, maybe you guys just need to change your circle of friends or your daily habits and expose yourselves to what the DC area has to offer.