Dealing with school administration past principal level....

[Yankeesfan]

This is all just rehashing your frustration and not solving any problems. We are strangers on the internet, we don't know you, your child, the teacher, or the principal, or what really happened in any of these incidents. None of us can control how your child is treated by the school. You have received practical suggestions such as accepting the class transfer, contacting the superintendent's office to find out who to appeal to, and contacting your School Board member. Why don't you just go ahead with those which might actually change your situation.

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

This is all just rehashing your frustration and not solving any problems. We are strangers on the internet, we don't know you, your child, the teacher, or the principal, or what really happened in any of these incidents. None of us can control how your child is treated by the school. You have received practical suggestions such as accepting the class transfer, contacting the superintendent's office to find out who to appeal to, and contacting your School Board member. Why don't you just go ahead with those which might actually change your situation.

Apparently, I have already repped you too many times to do it on this post.

[Oldhag1]

Originally Posted by theBIGstep

Earlier in the year we wanted to change our child and fell for the whole we will take care of the bully situation. They did not. Now my child has been called into the office for very minor things in my opinion. If he wanted to hurt or was trying to hurt another student that is different...he is making mistakes which can be corrected easily...but everything is now maginified 10 fold. I have to wonder does the admin do this to make a case for the switch as if my child is causing problems. This is the part I do not understand. 8 weeks left and now they will allow him to be switched. Otherwise for the next 8 weeks they will nit pic him and me like crazy. Can someone give me a perspective given the circumstances why an admin would react this way. We reassure we believe in supporting our child and want him to enjoy school but they take no steps in working towards that....they only love to bring him into the office for things other kids do everyday and they are quickly corrected. Any advice on the mental game here....cause I just don't get it.

The school can not switch the other child unless that child's parents request it or approve it. You are the one asking for the kids to be separated, therefore it will be your child moved. This is the way it has been done at every school district I have worked in.

They are willing to switch him even though there are only 8 weeks left because you are clearly not happy with his current classroom situation. The situation has gotten to the point that the office is having to intervene on a frequent basis, and this is not a common occurrence in elementary school. I would assume that it has gotten to the point that the teacher isn't happy with the classroom situation and may be to the point that she feels she can't fix it. You said his teacher is a new teacher. Given the problems, the school may feel your child will be best served with an experienced teacher.

Based on what you are writing, you don't feel your child's behavior is out of line. Have you considered sitting in his class for a day? You may discover your child's behavior is not in line with other kids in his grade. Frankly, a kindergartner that was willing to push a 5th grader would concern me. That is not what most children in kindergarten would do when faced with a larger, older child. Also disruptive behavior in a classroom is a serious problem, even if there is no physical threat to other kids. It interrupts the learning of 20-25 other children, and if it happens too much, that is a good reason to send a child to the office. It isn't fair to the other kids when a teacher has to spend almost all of her time on just one student.

This isn't a mental game. This is a school trying to make sure everybody is getting a chance to learn, including your son.

[Nancy in Nokomis]

I feel your pain. Here in Fairfax there is always all these "anti-bully" plans and big programs - nothing ever works - bullys are always there - and the schools dont do much to stop it - they talk a good talk, but in the end - nothing is done.

My son rides the bus - full of Advanced Placement elementry school kids no less and there was a big bullying problem - so bad that one kid was strangled - so the bully get suspended and the Mom says oh "boys will be boys" - this happens again and again to this one kid that ends up dropping out of the advanced school and going back to his base school because he could not take it anymore. Nothing is ever done. This particular bus has had problems for years - bus drivers quit and new ones come in -

Your best bet is to get through the 8 weeks - then transfer to another school - most times they will let you transfer.

Or - O.K. I am not going to recommend the following to anyone - but this is what I did - one bully was bothering my son - not much but sometimes. I went into the bus and let everyone know who I was, who my son was and that they were not to mess with him or else - well - it is illegal for a parent to enter the bus so the bus driver chased me out of there - but - guess what - that no one ever bothered my son again. LOL Thats called "Jersey Justice"

[spencgr]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

Or - O.K. I am not going to recommend the following to anyone - but this is what I did - one bully was bothering my son - not much but sometimes. I went into the bus and let everyone know who I was, who my son was and that they were not to mess with him or else - well - it is illegal for a parent to enter the bus so the bus driver chased me out of there - but - guess what - that no one ever bothered my son again. LOL Thats called "Jersey Justice"

I'm glad this worked for you, but I could easily see it backfiring. Bullies very possibly might turn more attention towards the child after this, and that child might be less willing to talk to the parent, lest they try this tactic again. As a child, I would have been mortified if this had happened.

[Oldhag1]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

I feel your pain. Here in Fairfax there is always all these "anti-bully" plans and big programs - nothing ever works - bullys are always there - and the schools dont do much to stop it - they talk a good talk, but in the end - nothing is done.

My son rides the bus - full of Advanced Placement elementry school kids no less and there was a big bullying problem - so bad that one kid was strangled - so the bully get suspended and the Mom says oh "boys will be boys" - this happens again and again to this one kid that ends up dropping out of the advanced school and going back to his base school because he could not take it anymore. Nothing is ever done. This particular bus has had problems for years - bus drivers quit and new ones come in -

Your best bet is to get through the 8 weeks - then transfer to another school - most times they will let you transfer.

Or - O.K. I am not going to recommend the following to anyone - but this is what I did - one bully was bothering my son - not much but sometimes. I went into the bus and let everyone know who I was, who my son was and that they were not to mess with him or else - well - it is illegal for a parent to enter the bus so the bus driver chased me out of there - but - guess what - that no one ever bothered my son again. LOL Thats called "Jersey Justice"

Originally Posted by spencgr

I'm glad this worked for you, but I could easily see it backfiring. Bullies very possibly might turn more attention towards the child after this, and that child might be less willing to talk to the parent, lest they try this tactic again. As a child, I would have been mortified if this had happened.

I agree with spencgr.

[vermonter16]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

O.K. I am not going to recommend the following to anyone - but this is what I did - one bully was bothering my son - not much but sometimes. I went into the bus and let everyone know who I was, who my son was and that they were not to mess with him or else - well - it is illegal for a parent to enter the bus so the bus driver chased me out of there - but - guess what - that no one ever bothered my son again. LOL Thats called "Jersey Justice"

I'm glad this worked for you but....When a parent gets involved to that extent it is just opening that child up to more bullying. I know because after moving from Vermont to Virginia, I talked different, wore different clothes, had a lot going against me as far as standing out. Throw mom and dad in the mix and it just makes it worse. I stopped telling my parents ANYTHING because them taking it upon themselves to fight my battles for me did not help but stopped me from communicating with them. You may think that it works but I only got picked on more... But, from mom and dad's pespective - I was doing great and the situation was better because of them.... They still don't know the truth and I am almost 40.