U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-07-2013, 04:04 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,835 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

We need a divorce lawyer for my friend who is currenly between jobs and does not have money. His wife knew he was low in money and decided to file a case against him for divorce.

She wanted the only thing they have which is a small condo $150k. No kids nothing.



She is alleging that he has been abusive and cruel to her so that she can get the apartment. we have witnesses that this is not true.. 40+ at least.

What can he do to get a lawyer to defend him since he has very little to no money?
This is in Fairfax county va.

Any lawyers would accept to take their share after the case is settled? she makes more money and she is filing for divorce.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-08-2013, 06:13 AM
 
367 posts, read 761,451 times
Reputation: 167
this seems like a no brainer he is broke and cannot afford the condo, she is not and can afford a condo. This is actually doing hima favor by avoiding chp.7 let her have it, not worth the thought even.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2013, 08:25 AM
 
1,623 posts, read 4,326,029 times
Reputation: 1292
Contact the VA bar or the committee chair of the family law committee for a referral. I suspect that if he has some equity in that condo, you probably can find an attorney willing to take the case on on deferred payment arrangement. Without kids, and a working spouse (?), I'd imagine that the condo gets sold and the equity split the majority of the time.

My guess the spousal abuse would sort of come into play by threatening an order of protection to screw with his career prospects and create leverage for a better deal than a 50/50 split.

FYI, those 40+ witnesses are of very limited value because the vast majority of spousal abuse is done in private and hidden from other people. Victims of abuse often try to hide the abuse from others from embarrassment or fear. 1 or 2 witnesses from her that can confirm the abuse that she confided in shortly after it occurred will be much more persuasive than 40 people connected to the husband that said they saw no abuse. In other words, you have no idea if it is true or not and no attorney would assume it wasn't true when they prepare their defense.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-08-2013, 12:27 PM
 
153 posts, read 247,591 times
Reputation: 120
Well he could do what I did when I filed for divorce from my wife 2 years ago. My "lawyer" only cost $100 and saved me thousands!

It's a long story but I couldn't take the crap my wife was dishing me anymore so I left (thankfully no kids and our only real shared asset was a used 8 year old Honda Civic). I was naive and figured if I moved out and left behind ALL of our other shared assets with her (furniture, TV, computer, appliances, etc....) and paid her her half of the car that it would be cut and dry and there would be nothing to haggle over. WRONG!!!! I immediately started getting threatening letters from an attorney she hired seeking all sorts of crazy expenses. Even though we were both working they demanded I continue to pay half of her rent and bills, all of her health insurance and a portion of her other "Living Expenses". All in all they wanted to bleed about 20K out of me, never mind that she had more money than I did. She figured she could use her money to hire a lawyer and bully me since she knew I could not afford one.

The first thing I did was to buy an excellent e-book written by a lawyer that explained how to best defend yourself in a divorce situation like this. Best $30 I ever spent! Don't remember the name but I'm sure someone could easily google something similar. The book explained exactly how the legal system works and offered strategies for what I should and should not do.

After a number of threats to take me to divorce court (where the prospect of going without my own layer seemed too risky) I used the books strategies to get her to agree to Divorce Mediation (offered for free in DC). We had numerous mediation sessions during which she would not budge from her demands. She would refuse to negotiate with me because she believed what her lawyer told her she could get out of me was much more credible to her than what I considered a fair settlement. It became apparent that the only way she would take me serious was if I had a lawyer backing me as well. My problem was that I couldn't afford a lawyer, so this is what I did:

Before our next Divorce Mediation session I placed an ad on Craigs List under the "Actors" section. I offered $100 to anyone who could look and act professionally and accompany me to the DC Court House for a few hours. I assured them that all of this was legal as they would not be in any official meetings and would not be misrepresenting themselves as they would speak to no one else but me.

When our next mediation date came up I made sure to get there early with my "lawyer" so my soon to be ex would see me conversing with him outside of the Divorce Mediation area while we waited. Her eyes got so big when she saw me there with him! The mediation session began with her and I (my "Lawyer" waited in the lobby) and it was totally different than before. In past sessions she would stand firm to her laundry list of demands from me and when I would refuse she would scoff and discredit anything I had to say to defend myself (typical of what she did in the marriage and why I left in the first place) but this time was different. This time whenever that situation would arise I would politely say "I need to go out in the hall and consult with my lawyer". I would leave the room for 5 minutes and go out to the lobby to play video poker on my iPhone. When I would return I would say "I have been advised not to agree to this". In the past she would have laughed at me when I refused to agree but this time she took me very serious. In the end we settled for what was reasonable and fair. I paid her for her half of the car and left her on my insurance for a while longer. Ironically what I was originally willing to give her in the beginning before I hired my "lawyer" was more than she ended up getting in the end, plus I'm sure she paid thousand of dollars for her litigious lawyer.

Good luck to your friend!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-14-2013, 12:16 PM
 
955 posts, read 1,922,509 times
Reputation: 550
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt2789 View Post
Well he could do what I did when I filed for divorce from my wife 2 years ago. My "lawyer" only cost $100 and saved me thousands!

It's a long story but I couldn't take the crap my wife was dishing me anymore so I left (thankfully no kids and our only real shared asset was a used 8 year old Honda Civic). I was naive and figured if I moved out and left behind ALL of our other shared assets with her (furniture, TV, computer, appliances, etc....) and paid her her half of the car that it would be cut and dry and there would be nothing to haggle over. WRONG!!!! I immediately started getting threatening letters from an attorney she hired seeking all sorts of crazy expenses. Even though we were both working they demanded I continue to pay half of her rent and bills, all of her health insurance and a portion of her other "Living Expenses". All in all they wanted to bleed about 20K out of me, never mind that she had more money than I did. She figured she could use her money to hire a lawyer and bully me since she knew I could not afford one.

The first thing I did was to buy an excellent e-book written by a lawyer that explained how to best defend yourself in a divorce situation like this. Best $30 I ever spent! Don't remember the name but I'm sure someone could easily google something similar. The book explained exactly how the legal system works and offered strategies for what I should and should not do.

After a number of threats to take me to divorce court (where the prospect of going without my own layer seemed too risky) I used the books strategies to get her to agree to Divorce Mediation (offered for free in DC). We had numerous mediation sessions during which she would not budge from her demands. She would refuse to negotiate with me because she believed what her lawyer told her she could get out of me was much more credible to her than what I considered a fair settlement. It became apparent that the only way she would take me serious was if I had a lawyer backing me as well. My problem was that I couldn't afford a lawyer, so this is what I did:

Before our next Divorce Mediation session I placed an ad on Craigs List under the "Actors" section. I offered $100 to anyone who could look and act professionally and accompany me to the DC Court House for a few hours. I assured them that all of this was legal as they would not be in any official meetings and would not be misrepresenting themselves as they would speak to no one else but me.

When our next mediation date came up I made sure to get there early with my "lawyer" so my soon to be ex would see me conversing with him outside of the Divorce Mediation area while we waited. Her eyes got so big when she saw me there with him! The mediation session began with her and I (my "Lawyer" waited in the lobby) and it was totally different than before. In past sessions she would stand firm to her laundry list of demands from me and when I would refuse she would scoff and discredit anything I had to say to defend myself (typical of what she did in the marriage and why I left in the first place) but this time was different. This time whenever that situation would arise I would politely say "I need to go out in the hall and consult with my lawyer". I would leave the room for 5 minutes and go out to the lobby to play video poker on my iPhone. When I would return I would say "I have been advised not to agree to this". In the past she would have laughed at me when I refused to agree but this time she took me very serious. In the end we settled for what was reasonable and fair. I paid her for her half of the car and left her on my insurance for a while longer. Ironically what I was originally willing to give her in the beginning before I hired my "lawyer" was more than she ended up getting in the end, plus I'm sure she paid thousand of dollars for her litigious lawyer.

Good luck to your friend!
ahahh this is brilliant and hilarious. Is this for real?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-15-2013, 05:15 AM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
159 posts, read 227,705 times
Reputation: 90
Divorce sucks. Period. Individuals going thru separation think they can beat the other side but in the end, both lose and both think they got bad arrangements. Both lawyers make out at the end.

I suggest your friend attempt mediation. Try NOVA Mediation Service. Their fee is based on joint income. Once the emotion and anger subside and the parties don't feel overwhelmed, maybe they can come to the table with mediators, usually 2 and work out a deal to end the marriage. If a tentative property & separation agreement is reached from mediation, I highly recommend having a 3rd party (a lawyer you pay) review it to protect your interests before you sign it. It is $$$ well spent. IMHO and experience, this approach is more private, cheaper than having lawyers negotiate and the mediation process can provide sense relief and a semblance of control.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-15-2013, 05:53 AM
 
Location: Fairfax, Va.
33 posts, read 52,569 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelborne_22033 View Post
Divorce sucks. Period. Individuals going thru separation think they can beat the other side but in the end, both lose and both think they got bad arrangements. Both lawyers make out at the end.

I suggest your friend attempt mediation. Try NOVA Mediation Service. Their fee is based on joint income. Once the emotion and anger subside and the parties don't feel overwhelmed, maybe they can come to the table with mediators, usually 2 and work out a deal to end the marriage. If a tentative property & separation agreement is reached from mediation, I highly recommend having a 3rd party (a lawyer you pay) review it to protect your interests before you sign it. It is $$$ well spent. IMHO and experience, this approach is more private, cheaper than having lawyers negotiate and the mediation process can provide sense relief and a semblance of control.

Good luck.
While I agree that this is the best solution, it take 2 to agree to this. I tried this with my ex-wife and she did not want to go this route and in the end, we both lost the 2 homes we owned and spent a ridiculous amount of money. It wasn't til this was all over that I heard through a friend that she regretted not taking what I offered in the beginning. Tough lesson learned for her, cause now she rents a crap townhouse and I just bought a home last year and have fully recovered from her ruining my credit, etc..

So...... If you can do the mediation route, definitely do it! I just hope your soon to be "Ex" will go for it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-18-2013, 08:03 PM
 
Location: MID ATLANTIC
7,724 posts, read 18,545,261 times
Reputation: 8385
My friend put up originally a 5K retainer, then another 3K. She now has a 30K bill that her attorneys got the ex to pay 25K. But this is where they get brilliant. She is expected to pay it by liquidating her retirement and then be reimbursed by the ex (fat chance!) when he liquidates his retirement.

They have screwed up her QDRO so badly, it appears she may be out of the federal plan for spousal coverage. It makes my divorce look like chump change And I like it when I think I've gotten a raw deal, someone else comes along to show me how good I have it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
View detailed profiles of:
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:19 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top