Golden handcuffs and jobs (Virginia Beach, Harrisonburg: appointed, attorney, home)

[cheriex333]

I've lived in NoVa since 1990 (with the exception of stints for schooling in Harrisonburg, VA and Orlando FL), and notice this area is growing so...hectic.

There are many positives about this area (wealth of jobs, diversity, culture, arts, nature and parks, authentic food), but the drawbacks are starting to wear me down.
Housing (rent or buy) is absurdly expensive, traffic/congestion, public transport sucks, hectic lifestyle, and the gray frigid skies of winter that seems to last 3-5 months.
There are rude people on the metro who push you aside or cut in line (I'm petite and easily movable), the angry drivers, and just mean ill-mannered folks.

I'm tired, worn, and feel defeated. Walking home in 15 degree weather or staring at the bleak gray skies, I long to be able to go to the beach, or bask in a nice warm day, or chat with friendly locals. Most folks are so busy, nobody really has time to "chat". I'm pretty introverted so it's not like I need to go out all the time or need others. I usually resort to online forums for support since my friends are busy and my husband gets tired of "chatting".

I love my job and I'm grateful for being gainfully employed. When I lived in Orlando, good paying professional jobs were hard to come by. But I so miss the warm winters, ocean, and lifestyle of a warmer laid-back climate.

I'm torn between putting roots here, or saving up for a move. The economy is what mainly keeps me here.
The DC metro area is rich with opportunities and plentiful jobs. I'm afraid moving somewhere like Florida where the jobs my field is scarce or underpaid (I'm in Government IT & Project Mgt).

Can anyone else commiserate or feel hand-cuffed to this area for one reason or another?

[airjay75]

I think many can relate to the golden handcuff feelings at times, particularly those of us that have jobs that are very specific to the DC area. If I could have my exact same job, but pick the location I wanted, I definitely would not pick the DC area. But, alas, my current job can really only be had right here in DC. I don't hate it here. I don't love it here. There are things I like and things I don't like. But, that said, I've lived in 7 states and even more areas within those states, and I feel like every place has its pluses and minuses with things I like and things I don't like. I also think we tend to remember the positive things about where we lived previously more than the negative things - after all, who wants to thing about the things that made them unhappy in the past? I don't know if there is any place where the negatives wouldn't wear on me on certain days - and February/March is definitely a time of year in places that experience winter where it's easy to have those weary days and focus on the negative. You've had enough of winter, but winter doesn't want to give up its grip just yet.

I don't know whether you should stay in this area or think about moving. There's too many factors for me to really give you any informed advice. I would just say that, at the end of the day, every place will have high points and low points. I think people who are happy and satisfied with life tend to be that way no matter where they live - sure, where exactly one lives will affect one to a certain degree, but it is a much less significant factor, to me, than things like relationships with friends and family and one's satisfaction with their job. I've said before that I've found no matter where I live, I tend to be happiest when I like my job and when things are well with my friends and family, and those things have little to do with exactly where I am living (aside from how geographically close one is to one's friends/family).

[jillybean720]

I would commiserate with you, but I moved! We just relocated my family of 4 from NOVA to Virginia Beach. Not that it's sunny and beach weather here right now, as we've seen single digits as well, got snow last night, and are expecting more snow tonight, but it is less hectic. But there are pluses and minuses no matter where you go. We are now closer to my family and in a calmer, less competitive area, which lowers stress for me, but the salaries here are lower than they should be for the cost of living. I was able to keep my NOVA job and telecommute (I work for an IT contractor, too), so I'm still in NOVA every other week or so far a day or two, but if I had to take a job here with local salary, we'd have to make some major lifestyle changes.

It sounds like you're younger, not married, no kids...I'd suggest you move. Try someplace else. If it fails, you can come back. But it might not fail. It might be great. Will you ever feel "great" here? Job/financial security is a huge deal, but it's not worth the trade-off to everyone.

[PK12]

Out of all the things you mentioned, the winter season here (which gets brutal by each passing year) is the only thing that has me on a downer.

I accept and embrace everything else as being part of a major thriving metropolitan area anchored by a major city.

Since you have a good job, if you are able to - I'd suggest getting away for the weekend every now and then.

I just went to Miami last weekend - short impromptu trip, flight did cost me a pretty penny but it was totally worth it!

[TheWatchmen]

Originally Posted by PK12

Out of all the things you mentioned, the winter season here (which gets brutal by each passing year) is the only thing that has me on a downer.

I accept and embrace everything else as being part of a major thriving metropolitan area anchored by a major city.

Since you have a good job, if you are able to - I'd suggest getting away for the weekend every now and then.

I just went to Miami last weekend - short impromptu trip, flight did cost me a pretty penny but it was totally worth it!

Many jobs here seem to be high-paying, and lower stress. I don't really fall into that sphere since I work for a small non-profit, but I know handfuls of people in my age group who work full time jobs but travel frequently (domestically and internationally), go to happy hours all the time, do social sports, work out a lot, and participate in community and volunteer activities.

People can get pretty smug about how important their jobs are here, but I know very few people working round the clock, 50+ hours a week. My attorney neighbor does, but she works for a top law firm downtown. She must work about 12 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week

I'm rambling, but my point is - I don't think this area has much to offer in the way of weather and natural beauty, but getting away once in a while is nice, if you can, and most people seems to have a great work-life balance.

Every time I go to Miami or Los Angeles, I'm like, gosh, why don't I live here? The weather is great. I can go the beach easily. When I get back, I'm reminded of why I don't live there - family, and jobs.

[Old Guard]

I can commiserate but I am not sure this area is that much different than a lot of other areas. People in general do not seem to be getting any politer and I do not see parents teaching their children manners often. As a matter of fact I would say that parents more often than not teach their children and sense of entitlement and to not think of others. Just look at Youtube and search for pranks. Traffic here is bad but it is bad in a lot of places. We are not going to win in the beach department. As for the seasons I particularly like four seasons. I feel the beauty in fall more than makes up for the inconvenience of winter. I am totally disappointed with public transportation in this area but am hard pressed to think of more than a handful of other US cities with better systems. But this area is not for everyone. There is nothing wrong with you if you do not like it. There is nothing wrong with you if you stay just because of a job or leave because you want a better life for yourself. Enough for now. I am tired of "Chatting".

[Bigfoot424]

Originally Posted by PK12

Out of all the things you mentioned, the winter season here (which gets brutal by each passing year) is the only thing that has me on a downer.

I accept and embrace everything else as being part of a major thriving metropolitan area anchored by a major city.

Since you have a good job, if you are able to - I'd suggest getting away for the weekend every now and then.

I just went to Miami last weekend - short impromptu trip, flight did cost me a pretty penny but it was totally worth it!

I'll disagree with the part in bold. We have had some pretty mild winters in the last several years. This winter wasn't bad at all until February hit. We can have a brutal winter here then 2 or 3 mild ones before another bad one hits.

[PK12]

Originally Posted by Bigfoot424

I'll disagree with the part in bold. We have had some pretty mild winters in the last several years. This winter wasn't bad at all until February hit. We can have a brutal winter here then 2 or 3 mild ones before another bad one hits.

Depends on each person's comfort level I guess.

There are people on this forum who were rejoicing over the wind chills we got last week

I personally hate cold weather and have very low tolerance for it, hence it's brutal to me

Nice to have some comparitively warm and balmy weather for a change like we do today

[Missingatlanta]

I can understand why you feel this way. I went to Orlando a few weeks ago and was shocked it was in the mid 70s. It was something seeing people so happy, walking around in shorts and sandals. I'd forgotten how refreshing warm sunny weather can be for the spirit. A lot of people are stuck in the DC area because of the economy so you're not alone.

[jmking]

Originally Posted by cheriex333

I've lived in NoVa since 1990 (with the exception of stints for schooling in Harrisonburg, VA and Orlando FL), and notice this area is growing so...hectic.

There are many positives about this area (wealth of jobs, diversity, culture, arts, nature and parks, authentic food), but the drawbacks are starting to wear me down.
Housing (rent or buy) is absurdly expensive, traffic/congestion, public transport sucks, hectic lifestyle, and the gray frigid skies of winter that seems to last 3-5 months.
There are rude people on the metro who push you aside or cut in line (I'm petite and easily movable), the angry drivers, and just mean ill-mannered folks.

I'm tired, worn, and feel defeated. Walking home in 15 degree weather or staring at the bleak gray skies, I long to be able to go to the beach, or bask in a nice warm day, or chat with friendly locals. Most folks are so busy, nobody really has time to "chat". I'm pretty introverted so it's not like I need to go out all the time or need others. I usually resort to online forums for support since my friends are busy and my husband gets tired of "chatting".

I love my job and I'm grateful for being gainfully employed. When I lived in Orlando, good paying professional jobs were hard to come by. But I so miss the warm winters, ocean, and lifestyle of a warmer laid-back climate.

I'm torn between putting roots here, or saving up for a move. The economy is what mainly keeps me here.
The DC metro area is rich with opportunities and plentiful jobs. I'm afraid moving somewhere like Florida where the jobs my field is scarce or underpaid (I'm in Government IT & Project Mgt).

Can anyone else commiserate or feel hand-cuffed to this area for one reason or another?

I was born in DC, lived there until I was six, grew up in the Maryland suburbs, moved to Fairfax in 88. I sold my home, banked the money and will be relocating to south Delaware where I can finally relax and quit smoking.