Commuting Nightmare scenario: What would you do? (Richmond, Arlington: school, living in)

[Deeman804]

So right now I think I am approaching a commuting nightmare scenario. Me and my wife are newlyweds without kids. We do enjoy occasional nights out in the city and more often go to dinners for fun. I just started a job in crystal city which pays significantly more money. My wife is in between jobs and going to school twice a week in Richmond. Good news, she just got offered her dream job. Bad news, it's in RICHMOND. Now I am in this scenario where we may be working 2 hours apart. Now I considered the option of one of us giving up our job fully understand that is possible. What I would like to know is what would do to make this awful scenario doable?

a) Live in Fredericksburg and sacrifice social life. I would have VRE and slug/carpool as options and she would drive an hour.

b) Live in Woodbrige/Lorton which is about as close as we would want to stay on the DC side but significantly lengthen her commute to 75-80 minutes (not very chivalrous to me). I would have several options to keep my commute in the "somewhat reasonable" range.

c) Live in the Richmond-area with lower cost of living, decent city amenities, easy commute but an absolute nightmare of a commute for me.

d) other suggestions?

note: I already know that one person giving up their job is an option.

[MedvedActual]

Personally, I would say living in Fredericksburg is a more reasonable choice that would not be a huge nightmare commuting wise for either one of you. It is 1.5hrs via VRE from Old Town Fburg to Crystal City and about 45mins to an hour to Richmond; not too terrible. While the Fburg social scene does lack (trust me I know; lived there for 8 years and just recently moved north), it seems to be a better option here IMO. For social stuff you could always drive to Richmond (easier than heading north by any means), or just hit up a few restaurants in downtown Fburg.

[MedvedActual]

Forgot to add to the original post. I do not see how living in Woodbridge would be any more beneficial than Fburg; while closer to DC, I'd say Fburg has more shopping (regular store options) and is not such a terrible commute for either one of you. You'd also get more for your $. Also, they did just recently open a new VRE station in Spotsy, so using either that one or one in Fburg should be easier now since I would imagine a lot of folks from points south of Fburg used the one downtown resulting in more congestion.

[NOVA_guy]

Fredericksburg though is far from Arlington -- I wouldn't recommend that commute even if a person is slugging, taking VRE, etc. It's just brutal no matter how you slice it. At least if you guys are in Woodbridge/Dumfries you're close-ish to Arlington so your commute is tolerable and your wife will have a reverse commute. May not be ideal but it won't be as awful as yours would be going from Fredericksburg to Crystal City.

[MedvedActual]

Originally Posted by NOVA_guy

Fredericksburg though is far from Arlington -- I wouldn't recommend that commute even if a person is slugging. It's just brutal. At least if you guys are in Woodbridge/Dumfries you're close-ish to Arlington so your commute is tolerable and your wife will have a reverse commute. May not be ideal but it won't be as awful as yours would be going from Fredericksburg to Crystal City.

I would second that if driving, but given the VRE, if that choice is possible with work location, work times, etc. it is doable.

[NOVA_guy]

Originally Posted by MedvedActual

I would second that if driving, but given the VRE, if that choice is possible with work location, work times, etc. it is doable.

It may be doable but would the person be happy? No matter what mode of transportation you're using, it's still long. I used to live in Stafford and slugging helped but it felt like my entire day was centered around my commute. I couldn't imagine going even further south to Fredericksburg.

[HokieFan]

I think living in Fredericksburg would be the better option while utilizing VRE for your commute north.

Maybe it won't be comparable to a social life in Richmond or Arlington/DC but I think you would be able to develop a decent social life in Fredericksburg.

[HokieFan]

Originally Posted by NOVA_guy

It may be doable but would the person be happy? No matter what mode of transportation you're using, it's still long. I used to live in Stafford and slugging helped but it felt like my entire day was centered around my commute. I couldn't imagine going even further south to Fredericksburg.

If OP were to choose Woodbridge and decided to drive, it would be about an hour.

If he lived in Fredericksburg and took the train, it would add 30 minutes to his commute while cutting down his wife's commute by about 30 minutes which IMO, has some benefits - less gas, less wear & tear, and safer overall(oftentimes when it snows in NoVA, it's raining in Fredericksburg and the more time spent on I95 increases the risk for an accident).

So OP's commute would be 90 minutes while his wife's would be about an hour. I'm not sure of the reverse commute being a benefit because once you hit Fredericksburg, I suspect many people are commuting south toward & around Richmond.

And like MedVed said, they'll get more bang for their buck as far as housing and nightlife in Woodbridge is nearly nonexistent.

[MedvedActual]

Originally Posted by NOVA_guy

It may be doable but would the person be happy? No matter what mode of transportation you're using, it's still long. I used to live in Stafford and slugging helped but it felt like my entire day was centered around my commute. I couldn't imagine going even further south to Fredericksburg.

Agree that it is not an ideal situation by any means, but neither is for two people who live together having jobs 100 miles apart - especially in an extremely congested area that we live in. To me, Fburg is kind of in the middle vs. say Woodbridge which, regardless of a reverse commute for his wife, still adds a few miles to her trip. Suppose between those two choices it's up to the OP to decide.

[PK12]

@OP: Where do you currently live?