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Old 09-11-2016, 10:31 PM
 
10 posts, read 36,645 times
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My wife was offered a job in Ashburn VA, which would require a move from NJ (near NYC) for our family (the two of us and 13 year old son.) We are a lesbian couple, and I'm feeling uneasy about moving to the Ashburn/Leesburg area. Are my fears warranted? Or is this area generally accepting? Would we do better moving closer to DC (she would have to then commute to Ashburn- reasonable?) We prefer suburbia to city (actually prefer rural living but I don't think that will happen for a while) and need reasonably good schools. Any thoughts/opinions/suggestions?
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Old 09-12-2016, 05:02 AM
 
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Ashburn is very suburbia. However, there are places with such a high turnover of people (townhome developments) that nobody will really cares what your lifestyle is.

That on the table, Ashburn is probably more conservative than Leesburg. You'll find more liberal democrats in NE and SE Leesburg than anywhere west of 15 Business (King St).

However, I have yet to meet a same-sex couple in NoVa, after living in Ashburn for 2 years and now in Leesburg for another two. This may be just a sampling issue, but I've lived in very liberal places where could easily run into same-sex couples who would introduce themselves as so (parks, library, restaurants, etc).
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Old 09-12-2016, 05:19 AM
 
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Uh, I wouldn't really do Leesburg or Ashburn to be honest. NoVa as a whole is pretty liberal but those two areas probably aren't the most liberal out of the region.

I'd look into Fairfax County parts like Herndon or Reston which isn't a bad commute to Ashburn.

Last edited by NOVA_guy; 09-12-2016 at 05:29 AM..
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Old 09-12-2016, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Reston, VA
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I agree with NOVA_guy on looking in Herndon or Reston. I will recommend a few options for your family if you let us know your budget and expectations.
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Old 09-12-2016, 08:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NOVA_guy View Post
Uh, I wouldn't really do Leesburg or Ashburn to be honest. NoVa as a whole is pretty liberal but those two areas probably aren't the most liberal out of the region.

I'd look into Fairfax County parts like Herndon or Reston which isn't a bad commute to Ashburn.
Having lived in Herndon, Fairfax, and Ashburn, I'm not sure I see a meaningful difference in how people would be treated or accepted, although I'm sure some of my perception is skewed by the people we spend time with. Ashburn may be a bit more conservative overall, but I haven't seen that extend to social acceptance (again, maybe I'm just not seeing it due to those we associate with). NOVA has a number of different cultures, so I think the area tends to be a little more accepting of different types of people than their voting record, or other preferences may indicate.

One child in my son's preschool classmates has same-sex parents, and, at least from would I could see, they were treated no differently than anyone else. They came to all the birthday parties, socialized with the group, and invited everyone to their child's parties. They never gave any indication they weren't treated equally in this area, although again, maybe they just didn't express that outwardly to others.

I do agree with @blindside though in that this is the only same-sex couple I have really interacted with, which is probably unusually for an area this populated.
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Old 09-12-2016, 12:08 PM
 
146 posts, read 257,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmitnaul View Post
My wife was offered a job in Ashburn VA, which would require a move from NJ (near NYC) for our family (the two of us and 13 year old son.) We are a lesbian couple, and I'm feeling uneasy about moving to the Ashburn/Leesburg area. Are my fears warranted? Or is this area generally accepting? Would we do better moving closer to DC (she would have to then commute to Ashburn- reasonable?) We prefer suburbia to city (actually prefer rural living but I don't think that will happen for a while) and need reasonably good schools. Any thoughts/opinions/suggestions?


We are a gay male couple that live in Reston. We love it here, and have not experienced any ill will. In fact, there are 3 gay households on our street! Reston also has an active LGBQT group that has been around for 25 years. We are friends with a lesbian couple who live near Burke, and they have 2 boys in Fairfax County schools, and they have not had any issues whatsoever. Welcome to NOVA!
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Old 09-12-2016, 02:54 PM
 
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Serendipity strikes. On the day you ask the question, the New York Times publishes a detailed map showing, by the first three ZIP code digits, the number and percentage (% of all marriages) of same-sex married couples in every area in the United States.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/13/up...=top-news&_r=0

I can't speak to your question about attitudes, but in terms of statistics, for the area with ZIP codes beginning in 201 -- which includes Leesburg, Ashburn, and most of the rest of the Northern Virginia suburbs west of Arlington County -- there are 453 same-sex married couples (259 female, 194 male), or 0.23% of the total of 193,705 married couples.
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Old 09-12-2016, 09:07 PM
 
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I agree with the others- it's pretty open here but perhaps a **slightly** more conservative vibe in the Ashburn/Leesburg area. I would first look in Reston/Herndon then Ashburn/Leesburg as a runner up. Good luck!
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Old 09-12-2016, 09:52 PM
 
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Thank you, everyone! Very helpful!
I will definitely check out Reston and Herndon.
Would you say that Ashburn/Lessburg tends to be fiscally conservative? Or is there some social conservatism as well? I have yet to visit the Nova area, so will need to make a trip down soon.
How would you say no this area compares to Richmond (only part of VA I have spent much time in as a good friend lived in Richmond and I visited often.)
Regarding budget: we are hoping to rent for a year or two, and our budget range is quite broad at the moment ($1500-$2200 for a 2/2 or 3/2.) We are going through an IVF cycle now to hopefully conceive (failed cycle last year so we shall see) and this would factor into whether I will work once we move or will wait 6 months-1year, and therefore, our budget.
My wife is headed down to VA on Thursday to discuss the job offer further and negotiate terms.
It looks like she will stay down there (and come "home" to Hoboken NJ) on weekends until June '17, when my son finishes up his 8th grade school year.
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Old 09-13-2016, 05:49 AM
 
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I don't find NoVa to be at all like Richmond. Socially and economically, they are very different places with very different histories.

Some of the politicians who represent Ashburn/Loudon are socially conservative, but everyone I know out that way are normal moderate to liberal types. It varies by age of course. Many LGBT couples attend UU churches across the region so that may be a good way to connect. There is one in Oakton that serves a wide area. As others have said above, I've never seen or heard about couples facing anti-gay sentiment whether it's street harassment or something more insidious.

Good luck with growing your family.
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