Husband coming to NOVA solo.

[tamitrail]

Originally Posted by busymommy3

My husband got an offer in Fairfax, and instead of moving all of us down there, we're thinking of having him work M-F and coming home on the weekends. We currently live in NJ, so its not that far of a drive (we made it in 3 hours). This seems to be a new trend as we're finding out. My question is are there any studios or any one bedroom apts in the area? He's thought about getting a roommate. Anybody else here working in NOVA and going home on the weekends out of state?

What about your kids? How do you know THEY can handle it???

[Yankeesfan]

Fridays, especially in summer and holiday times, are brutal because so many people travel out of town and the northeast corridor is especially challenging. Then it repeats on Sunday as people return home.

Schools here in Virginia are subject to the "King's Dominion law," which prohibits schools from opening before Labor Day to give the tourist industry the full benefit of summer. (Some school districts that have a lot of weather-related closings receive an exemption and open earlier.) Private schools are not bound by that; Catholic schools open the week before Labor Day. Fairfax County has a few year-round schools that start their year in early August. They are mostly in areas that have a high ESOL population (although not all high ESOL schools are year-round).

Why don't you come for a visit and check out the area to help you make the decision? When does your husband need to start his job? As someone else suggested, an extended-stay hotel might be a better idea than having him sign a lease that would lock you into the commuter situation for a full year. Maybe you could have him try the commuting for a month or so to see how it works out. Then you would still have time to find a house here before the school year starts.

[busymommy3]

I showed all the replies I recieved, and my husband isn't so sure now. This forum is such a valuable tool. I thank all of you who responded. One thing, do kids start school in August or September down there?

[busymommy3]

thanks Yankeesfan. We must've posted at the same time. We did come down for a couple of days. It wasn't enough, but we wanted to see what the traffic was like during rush hour just to get a little taste. It was pretty nasty!

[5stones]

OK, is this a short term maybe job? OR permanent job transfer? Because if it is temp then yes, staying put might be the best thing economicaly right now. But just remember being a single mom for 3 small children isn't going to be a walk in the park. But amny military/govt families deal with the separtaion for extended periods of time etc... but they also have a HUGE support network.

"I've been there and done it" (my kids were older though) but, we also didn't have the traffic issues NOVA to PA is a pretty easy 3 hour trip in on Monday morn. as opposed to the NJ/DC traffic nighmare.

It is very streesfull....we did it for 3 months, then a permanent 2 yr slot opened and we all took the plunge. It was the right move for our family, even if my hubby didn't get home sometimes till 8pm, he was there for goodnight kisses more often than not.
It was actually easier on the family when he was gone for 4 months solid rather than just seeing him on weekends.

Our Friends did the same commute for 6 mo. She said she would never do it again (and he was usually home on Fridays by 7pm and left mon morning) The too moved the family down ofr the 2 yr job assign.

After driving that weekend commute a few times, realise that there will be times he can't make it, or is just too tired to do it for 1 day at home. Yes, he'll start out EVERY weekend, but after 2 months it will wear him down. Temper become short etc... just as it will be hard for your kids to say goodbye EVERY sunday night.

BUT again...plenty of PEOPLE do it and we don't know you and how this will effect you and your kids etc...
My sister and her 2nd husband live this way...only seeing each other on weekends and hoildays etc... it works fine for them. but she only has 1 child an was a single mom before remarrying..so her life hasn't changed drasticlly etc...

Schools start in Loudoun county on Sept 2nd. (NOT SURE ABOUT fAIRFAX)so you have the summer to try it out.
It'll give you time to maybe find a renter for your house etc... or get it prepped for the market. YOu can always put it by appointment only with no sign etc...

I've moved my kids 3 times in Nov after the start of school and they have never had a problem adjusting. They actually like it, because they feel special etc... The schools in NOVA are very GOOD at aclumating new kids, they do it all time.

It's alot to think about..but just saying NO DON't DO it...etc isn't fair either. You have alot to think about etc...ONLY you and your husband can weigh all the pros and cons and decised what is good for you and what will work.


GOOD luck....