U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 10-20-2008, 08:46 PM
3 posts, read 8,472 times
Reputation: 11


I have found my self in a very intense position that I myself can not believe. My husband and I recently divorced but decided to stay living close by for as long as possible because we have joint custody of two small children. We were living in Rhode Island for the past couple of years but are both from California (in our adult lives anyway). My ex-husband had a wonderful job offer in VA. Because I have no real ties to RI other than them I said I would quit my job in RI and find a job and a place to live in VA as well.

Here is the kicker. A few years ago I had a brain tumor that gave me a condition called Cushings Disease. I had the tumor removed and was put on very strong pain medication in the Netherlands. When I came back to the states I wanted off of this medication because I hated the way it made me feel and I was determined to get my life back. I was a software engineer for 10 years in Silicon Valley making amazing money and my husband was/is a physics professor before the tumor hit and took over both my life and that of my small family. I tried just to stop taking it and ended up with ADRS and on life support so they put me back on the meds once they realized I was going to actually live through it.

I was told about a methadone program that could possibly help me get off of the narcotics while in the hospital. When we moved to RI I went right away to find out about the program. It was a miracle program for me. I only have to take a very small dose each morning and I do not feel drugged in anyway and can lead a normal life. I will be able to wean off of the methadone 1 mg a day starting in two more months now that I have been stable for six. Because of my fight for the last year to regain my life and my health I let my husband have physical custody of our children when we divorced. The papers read that this would be for a period of only 8 months for me to recover and than we would redo the custody agreement. He was all for this because he knew I was fighting for my life and how much I love my children. My children are my life and that is probably the reason I am still alive. I still was able to have them on the weekends and I would have them over for dinner and hugs every Thursday night inbetween if for some reason I could not have them that weekend ie...treatment, hospital test for the tumor etc...

My family lives in a very small town in NM. They heard I was on methadone and thought this meant I was a drug addict. I had no idea they thought this way. I thought all along they knew how great I was doing and finally getting my life back after an awful disease almost took me away. So here comes the kicker...

I quit my job when I thought I had enough money to move to VA to be with my children. I had sent out resumes and had a few interviews set up. I decided to find a job first and home second depending on what area my job was in so I got reservations at a extended stay hotel and thought I was set. Well what happens the next two weeks after I moved? The economy feel apart, foreclosures went through the roof and freezes went up every where on hiring. Here I was as close to Washington DC as you could get....well, you get the picture. Eight weeks I pretty much begged for a job. I would have worked anywhere! Waitressing, washing dishes, I didn't care but when they would see my resume they knew because of my back ground I would not be hanging around long and it was only a "filler" job. So, they wouldn't even hire me!

I completely ran out of every penny I had..and I do mean penny! So thinking family always helps family I call home to my family in New Mexico and they were more than eager to help me get a plane ticket to get out here. I thought I would get a job here (I was told "there were so many here!") save up and be back to my children before Christmas. I get here and they pick me up at the airport. I was very excited because I had been away from here 20 years so I had family I hadn't seen in such a long time.

I get to my Grandparents house where I was to be staying and that very same night things just did not seem right somehow to me. There were whispers every room I went in and left... Finally I find out what is going on. They had all got together thinking the "drug addict" is coming home and we are going to save her from herself! I hear my brothers wife whispering to my Grandmother "Let us take her to our house and we will lock her in a room and she can only eat what we feed her and take what we give her" Now I know you think I am exagerating here but far from it! I am probably not even making it out as bad as it is.

I had talked to my doctor in Virginia and he gave me enough of my meds to take for the trip here and than to get to a pain clinic here and he would contact them when I signed a release and twa la I would be set. A place to live, a job, my meds and only 8 to 10 weeks from seeing my children again. Man, was I wrong! They are ready to have me committed. I can't even walk outside without someone following me and making sure "I'm not shooting up". I am being treated like a convicted felon that might start running around killing everyone in town if they "don't protect their neighbors". I am not allowed to borrow a car. If I want to go any where someone has to take me. Not one person has mentioned helping me find a job or even the fact that I am here to find a job. As soon as my sister left tonight I snuck in here to post this to ask for help.

I don't know what to do? I have exactly $10.00 or I would just sneak out in the middle of the night (which would not be easy here let me tell you) and get to an airport and get home.

I don't want to tell my exhusband about this because I don't want to be a failure again where my children are concerned and I don't think he would ever understand the way people out here live and how far behind the rest of the world they are with their thinking and would probably just think I am trying to get money from him. Just as an example of there thinking where I am right now... my Grandmother told me yesterday that if Obama becomes president they are going to swear him in using the Koran! AND with in 2 years all of the Christian churches would be closed and we would have to "go underground" to pray and maybe be killed. They are terrified he may win and we are all doomed to live in the basement if we are white! I scared the crap out of them I guess when I first got here and we were driving through town and I said there are McCain signs in every yard in this town... but I have not seen even one for Obama. I wondered why it was dead silent and everyone looked at each other. Now I know.

Anyway, I was doing a search looking for any places around that might help "homeless" people because I think that is what I am now. I found some hits for places called "Homeward Bound Projects" but they were all in other states and either for pets or teenagers.

I am begging and I do me begging for help. I am scared of staying here another day. The last 4 have been worse than the entire last 4 YEARS of my life. I need help to figure out how to get out of here before I start going through major with drawal from my meds and cannot function to help myself around them. I am only taking a couple a day even though I am supposed to take one every three hours (to travel the give you methadone pills you must take to keep it in your system. When not traveling you drink a liquid once a morning at that is it.)

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get money to get a plane ticket to get out of here? I am so scared because I don't have much time as I said before I get deathly ill from withdrawal.

Please answer if you can by email. I don't know when I will ever have enough time to sign back on here again. I will try to though just in case someone leaves a message here.

Thanks for the long read but I felt I had to give the entire back ground for anyone to really understand.

Stranded and Scared Stayce

Last edited by StayceGoesHome; 10-20-2008 at 08:56 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 10-20-2008, 09:46 PM
Location: San Antonio, TX
993 posts, read 2,035,287 times
Reputation: 306
Wow. I would get some professional help. I just don't know what else to say. You do write very well though. Good luck and God bless.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-20-2008, 11:40 PM
3 posts, read 8,472 times
Reputation: 11
Thank you... Believe me if there was anyway I could I would... again, thank you for the reply. I am signing off here now in hopes I can find a way back to this site soon.. God Speed for you as well.

People seem so helpful here..

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-21-2008, 04:21 PM
3 posts, read 8,472 times
Reputation: 11
Default I made it!

Thanks to everyone who replied... I don't have time to say much but I will never forget this! Thank you! Looks like I will make it home finally! Stayce
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-20-2008, 02:50 PM
Location: San Antonio, TX
993 posts, read 2,035,287 times
Reputation: 306
Did you make it home alright?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-24-2010, 10:30 PM
1 posts, read 1,612 times
Reputation: 10
i am stranded in the state of washington i came on a family emergency and stayed longer than planned now i have no way to get home i am here with my children the job my husband is working is only one day if he is lucky a week i have my home in colorado and my son does anyone have any ideas of how i can get home?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-24-2010, 10:41 PM
3,164 posts, read 5,722,894 times
Reputation: 1263
I am not sure what you are asking. If you could please try to use some periods, it would help me to understand what it is that you want, where you are, and where your son is. Thanks! Hope that we can help you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Loading data...
Based on 2000-2013 data
Loading data...

Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Virginia > Northern Virginia
Similar Threads
View detailed profiles of:

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top