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Don't know how much help I can be since I can't answer a lot of your questions, but I personally think Nokesville would give you the most bang for your buck, especially if it's land you're after. Don't know anything about the new Kettle Run school, but our daughter goes to Brentsville and we love it. Sure, it's a bit old and crowded these days, but we love the teachers and the education she's receiving and, most importantly, she feels safe at this school. It's still "cow-pie high," which, in my opinion, isn't necessarily a bad thing considering the problems the more urban schools face. FWIW, there are plans for a new high school on Kettle Run Rd in Nokesville (no relation to the Fauquier Kettle Run!). Last I heard, this was scheduled for 2012 and as I understand it would replace Brentsville...
As far as VRE, my husband takes the train from the Bristow station (the first stop). Rt 28 has been widened from Linton Hall into Manassas, and they finally installed a traffic light (and a shopping center!!) at Piper Lane, so it's much easier getting out in the evening. Since it's the first stop, there's generally no problems finding a seat on the train.
Good luck!
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