Why are most parents obsessed with "good" schools? (Reston: apartment, to rent)

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by JEB77

I will say this, you are a very fast typer (or do you use voice-recognition software)? What in the world will you make of us when you actually live here and have to deal with us on a daily basis!

I'm not as vociferously judgmental in real life as I am on the Internet. If you (well not you in particular, Jeb, but just someone in general) were to bump into me at the water cooler at work, bragging about your child at Harvard while grimacing subtly (or so you thought but I'm VERY good at "reading" people) when you see my Ford key on my key ring with the tacky key chain ornament, I'd most likely still smile, nod my head appreciatively, feign listening attentively, maintain eye contact, and would wish you a wonderful rest of your day when I had finished my brief water cooler trip.

Back at our respective cubicles you would be thinking in the back of your mind how much more "fortunate" or "civilized" you are than me and that my own parents must have made foolish decisions in their lives if their 22-year-old son, gasp, had to purchase his own older Ford sedan on his 16th birthday as he juggled a 35-hour per week job with high school endeavors. You'd be wondering if the background I was derived from was "suitable" to warrant inviting me over to meet your family and several other colleagues for a backyard barbecue (or a "cook out" as we call them up here in Scranton). You'd wonder if I'd be able to present myself appropriately for our high-end clients, based upon the fact that the dress shoes I wore came from a mom-and-pop shoe store in my area instead of being imported from Italy.

At my cubicle I'd chuckle silently to myself, thanking my parents for imprinting an image of humility upon me so that I wouldn't feel so inclined to needlessly "talk myself up" when meeting someone new because I was too insecure to just let my kind personality speak for itself, unlike my new colleague, who came off incredibly pompous while being more oblivious to this fact than he'd ever learn. I'd make a mental note to remain cordial to him but also to not go out of my way to invite him on social functions out of fear he'd "strike again" with more inappropriate self-serving remarks about his own status, aimed at boosting his own self-confidence at the expense of making others feel comparatively diminutive.

In short, I'm wildly looking forward to my impending relocation to Virginia. If and when my finances permit I'd love to have some of you over individually (1-bedroom apartments can't accommodate much simultaneous company) so I could cook for you (with my culinary talents now that would be burnt Kraft mac & cheese a-la-mode) and invite you to sit and watch a movie while we chatted about life in general and became friends. I'm aware that people think I'm "stuck up" by my typing style, but in reality I'm down-to-earth and am generally happy-go-lucky. I look forward to meeting the rare breed known as a single young gay professional so that I could stop being so lonesome and look forward to seeing someone's eyes light up again when I enter the room with flowers before cuddling on the sofa. I look forward to helping the DCAA save the tax payers as much money as possible through very conscientious audits. I look forward to attending graduate school for my Master's Degree and Doctorate to further enhance my yearn to learn (Dr. Seuss, am I?)

What am I NOT looking forward to? The uber-competitiveness that I can actually sense from some on this forum---being so stressed out to be "top of the heap" in terms of worldliness and to make others AWARE OF IT that you alienate others in the process and just feel tired all the time. I will also not like the fact that a good chunk of NoVA looks like taupe (maybe the "stand-out" semi-beige or off-white) vinyl-sided homes lining the innards of a cinnamon bun, but being able to visit beautiful places like Leesburg, Winchester, Arlington, Alexandria, and Georgetown will make that much more amenable for me (expect more of my personal photo tours posted on this forum when I get down there!)

[ChristineVA]

Originally Posted by Olivia3boys

Question for you Virginians along these lines (colleges/universities):

Is it truly very, very difficult to get into public colleges/universities in Virginia?

I'm contemplating a move from CA to VA (see my thread below) and it is honestly not that hard to get into the University of California. Berkeley, yes, is competitive, and UCLA is somewhat competitive, but there are 9 campuses in all, not to mention the California State University system (also good, not as good)--there are a dozen or more of those. UC reserves slots for the top 10% of graduating seniors. Until this year it was 10% from the entire state; it's now been changed to 10% of every high school, even the worst high schools (this change will hurt Asians).

And it's easy to transfer in from community colleges too (as long as you don't pick an extremely popular major, like biochemistry or engineering).

In your opinion, How does this CA admission process differ from the VA admission process?

I have my daughter going through this right now. Her cumulative GPA is approximately 3.0 right now. VERY average. She is in parochial school, takes one AP class, had an honors course but generally is in the school's College Preparatory track. There is one track lower than her. Very solid "average" student. She does tons of volunteer type stuff but is not an athlete. Involved in drama.

She has applied to Radford, George Mason, Virginia Commonwealth, Old Dominion, Mary Washington. She has been rejected from VCU and ODU. We are awaiting the others but I am doubtful. Some of her peers with better GPAs and fatter resumes have been rejected from Radford so I have no hope that she will get in. Radford did accept her friend with a 2.1 GPA but we suspect it is because she is Hispanic. What other reason because she got in when much stronger students didn't.

My daughter's guidance counselor said that these particular state schools were a "walk in" for most students 3-4 years ago. Not anymore.

[claremarie]

For someone who claims to be beyond the uber-competitiveness thing, you seem awfully concerned about what other people think of you.
People come to DC from all over the world because they are ambitious and hard-working. Many of them are also competitive. They will ask you where you went to school, and then they'll ask you where that school is because they've never heard of it. If you can't deal with that, perhaps you're not ready to move to northern Virginia.

[tankdude]

Originally Posted by Mearth

Wow. How spectacularly ignorant of you.

Sorry, but you be the ignorant one.

Someone who's ignorant, such as you, is lacking knowledge or totally uninformed.

I though, provided the poster with a link where they can report their neighbors who break the law.

Zoning/Noise Ordinance Complaint Reporting Form - Fairfax County, Virginia

[tankdude]

Originally Posted by JEB77

Is this based on SOL data?

Just asking, because the three schools with the lowest average SAT scores last year appear to be Hayfield, Edison and Mount Vernon. All of these schools were below the national average, whereas the SAT scores at Annandale and Falls Church were above the national average. The FairfaxCAPS group reported that the three schools with the lowest SOL scores were West Potomac, Falls Church, and Mount Vernon.

Falls Church is still experiencing a large net out-flow students to other high schools through pupil placements, but things may improve if test scores continue to rise (2008 SAT scores improved over 2007) and the School Board goes ahead with a redistricting that would send some students at over-crowded Annandale to Falls Church.

Yes, based on SOL data. SOL tests, I would imagine, would be even easier compared to a test like the SAT.

In any regard, those 3 schools that you mentioned are all in Alexandria, although I think 2 are still considered FFX Cty.

I wonder why almost all the HS's in Alexandria are so poorly rated.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by claremarie

For someone who claims to be beyond the uber-competitiveness thing, you seem awfully concerned about what other people think of you.
People come to DC from all over the world because they are ambitious and hard-working. Many of them are also competitive. They will ask you where you went to school, and then they'll ask you where that school is because they've never heard of it. If you can't deal with that, perhaps you're not ready to move to northern Virginia.

If they ask me where I went to school and where it is because they are genuinely curious in knowing more about my life or about the college in general, then I'd be more than pleased to oblige them. I'm a very open person who tries to no longer keep any secrets from anyone. If they are asking me only because they want an opportunity to gloat about how many more accreditations their school had in relation to my own, how much larger their alumni network is, how much higher their class rank was, yada, yada, yada, then they won't be invited into my social network of friends.

By the way, you can be "competitive" without being an arrogant, pompous fool. I know DC has its reputation for attracting its fair share of egos due to the political shenanigans and whatnot, but if anyone plans to befriend me they ought to check theirs at the front door, lest they be shown that very same front door once again in a hurry before being served dessert. I'm charismatic and often don't shut the hell up (as if you can't tell from this forum!) LOL! I also have enough social and emotional intelligence to know what "appropriate" conversation is when just meeting someone. I'd NEVER ask someone "What church do you go to?", for example, in the first few minutes of meeting them, nor would I ask them "Are you gay?", "For whom did you vote in the 2008 presidential race", "How much money did you make?", "What degrees do you have?", "How much did you pay for your house?", etc. If people in NoVA DO generally bombard with these sorts of questions when first meeting you, then obviously someone needs to teach them a thing or two about social interaction.

Isn't there an old saying something along the lines of "Never discuss politics, religion, or romance amongst friends?" I would extend that to include finances as well. It's none of your damn business how much I make, how much I paid for my car, how much my car is worth, how much my real estate has appreciated in value, how large my son's trust fund is, yada, yada, yada. I certainly hope people are NOT obsessed with such trivial matters down there.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by tankdude

You're not biased. You're just ignorant, although you made a good decision not to have kids.

Was that really necessary? I'm sure Mearth would make an excellent mother or father if he/she so chose to pursue that path. I'm still not 100% definitive as to whether or not I'll be adopting any children in my future either---it will largely depend upon the wishes of my future better half. I've been told countless times I shouldn't have children by the Ann Coulter-worshiping nut jobs here in rural PA. Would that stop me? Not a chance in hell. If I could give an abandoned child a loving warm home and offer them whatever sustenance necessary to guarantee them a great future, then I'd be more than happy to do that once I'm financially sound. You don't really know anything about Mr. and/or Mrs. Mearth to make such a rash inference about their parenting capabilities. For all you know Mr. (or I suppose the proper salutation may very well be Dr.?) Mearth could be making so many positive differences in the lives of children right now that he's serving the role of innumerable paternal role models.

[JEB77]

Originally Posted by tankdude

Yes, based on SOL data. SOL tests, I would imagine, would be even easier compared to a test like the SAT.

In any regard, those 3 schools that you mentioned are all in Alexandria, although I think 2 are still considered FFX Cty.

I wonder why almost all the HS's in Alexandria are so poorly rated.

All the schools I mentioned are all Fairfax County high schools - George Mason is the high school for the city of Falls Church and TC Williams is the high school for the city of Alexandria.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by oneasterisk

You don't, I'm proof positive of that. I never graduated college. I attended one semester at NVCC and found that it was pretty much like highschool. I only attended because my parents pushed the "You have to get a college degree" speech on me. I found that college wasn't for me, I learn better hands on and visually, though I enjoy reading. I dropped out and found my first computer job. I got a few certifications under my belt and started doing the IT contracting. Now I've got 10yrs of experience in the field, and currently pursuing a gov't position that'll give me stability in these tumultuous times. My parents were surprised when I finally told them my salary. They couldn't believe I was making that much money without a college degree.

I'm currently 28 and have no college loans to my name. My bought new in 2004 SUV is paid for and my motorcycle is paid for. I own a house with my brother, well the bank owns it and we make payments. Now I'm currently waiting to close on my first investment property. Not bad for a guy who lived in a dirt floored shack in a 3rd world country for the early part of his life.

My parents graduated college in the Philippines and then sacrificed so much to get us to the US LEGALLY. They showed us that through hard work and determination you can succeed in this country. They both worked two jobs and were able to afford a home, raise 4 kids and send the oldest to college so she could get her degree. Now my parents have a retirement home in the Philippines where they spend the winters. They've worked very hard in their life and now enjoying the fruits of their labor.

My oldest brother makes also makes decent money without a college degree. He builds laser systems that marks precious stones.

So while I think a college diploma is a worthwhile endeavor, it's worthless if you don't have the gumption to do anything with it.

I've met some downright brilliant and financially prudent people who don't have college educations. Conversely I know of several people with a Ph.D. or an Ed.D. after their names who are far from qualified from the positions they currently hold. You, Mr. oneasterisk, would have received another rep point boost from me had I not been annoyingly told "You must spread it around first!" LOL!

Where would some of we "numbers-oriented" college graduates be if not for those who were more mechanically-inclined? I changed a flat tire on my own after having slid into a curb during an ice storm in our parking lot at work, but when my alternator went on my car on a hot summer day in 2007 I was helpless along the side of the road until I called AAA, and a tow truck driver "rescued" me like a knight in shining armor. Take a stroll through Old Town Alexandria sometime and examine the beautiful architecture. Then realize that the ones who constructed these masterpieces were more than likely not college graduates, but they have more craftsmanship-oriented expertise and intelligence than I could ever hope to attain from watching a Lowe's DIY video! LOL! The chef preparing your favorite steak dinner may very well be a high school drop out who just happens to be a culinary mastermind. When our high school class took a trip to a vocational-technical training school in an effort to expand our minds from "traditional" learning settings I was amazed that the masonry teacher built his own all-brick home with his own hands---a home that was now worth $750,000! The wife of an electrician at our church drives a Mercedes-Benz.

People really think one requires a degree in order to "make the big bucks." That's not necessarily the case. Having a degree often times makes it easier for you to land a job (although in a recession all bets are off), but it's not a "golden ticket." A lot of my peers are graduating without job offers lined up. They invested $80,000-$100,000 in an education that proved fruitless (for now anyways). They can eat some "humble pie."

[Alanboy395]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

As someone who has only just recently graduated high school (with honors may I add) and will soon be obtaining my Bachelor of Science Degree in Accounting (more than likely just *** laude, which is fine by me), I am appalled by how competitive and aggressive many of you parents are. My parents worked very tediously over the years to ensure that I had a wonderful future laid out ahead of me, but while they are "wealthy" by Scranton, PA's lackluster financial standards, they would be lower-middle-class by NoVA's much more stringent standards. They couldn't afford to send me to a parochial school, much less a private school, and I am one of those "gifted" students.

As such I attended our poorly-regarded public school system, and I truly did appreciate being challenged and encouraged by devoted faculty members---some of whom I still thank for their dedication when I bump into them in our community. It is all about attitude, parents, and the sooner you realize that perhaps it's NOT "everyone else's fault" that your little Suzie or Timmy is faltering but perhaps maybe his or her OWN lack of direction, the better your chances of rectifying this before it becomes decidedly more self-destructive in nature. At my "sub-par" alma mater those who applied themselves, listened attentively in classes, participated, did their homework, etc. are all very successful today (my new dream job is evidence of this). Those who chose to prioritize honing their athletic skills over the realm of academia, were too busy trying to dupe cheerleaders into giving them oral sex on the weekends while at under-age drinking parties to study, were more concerned with putting down we "nerds" to even give us a chance at friendship, etc. are now largely failures who will be living in our same decrepit town their entire lives working at unskilled jobs and having difficulty affording their kids without government support.

Life is all about choices. Stop making excuses for why your child isn't living up to his/her fullest potential. When I started feeling ostracized senior year shortly after "coming out" my grades began to slip as I considered suicide. If it weren't for my astute educators NOTICING this trend and cornering me (rather cleverly may I add) to see what was wrong, I may very well have thrown myself off the bridge that I had been eying up. Teachers are vastly under-appreciated PROFESSIONALS---just because they may not be able to afford to live on a sterile cul-de-sac and drive a gas-guzzling SUV like some of their pupils' parents doesn't make them worthy of such divisive criticism.

I soared from high school into the college of my choice, King's College, an AACSB-accredited institution, without a problem. Even though the political climate here on campus has been much too conservative for my tastes I realized that I was paying good money to learn, not to be patted on the back for driving a fuel-efficient vehicle adorned with an Obama bumper sticker. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to attend college here, and I feel as if I'm just as capable of snagging a rewarding career opportunity as someone whose NoVA parents "forced" them to attend an Ivy-league institution with a much higher price tag just so they could tell their own colleagues "My kid's at Harvard/Yale/Princeton. Where's yours at?"

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. When you're six feet under pushing up daisies, how do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be someone who drove an SUV, lived on a cul-de-sac, ate at Applebee's, and watched American Idol every week like the rest of our materialistic society, or would you prefer to live frugally, devoting as much of your discretionary income as possible to charitable causes? I'm going to choose the latter. If I die with $1,000,000 in savings, then I'll be damned if that isn't going to go to help build a new childrens' cancer wing at a hospital instead of not even existing because I spent that shortly before death on a Maserati and McMansion that furthered our nation's obsession with conspicuous consumption.

As I prepare to move to NoVA I've made several observations. While I'm thrilled to see so many intelligent, thoughtful, considerate people, I'm ALSO disgusted by this uber-competitive "mine's bigger than yours" mentality. Who gives a damn if you live in the suburbs vs. the city, drive an Escalade or a Ford, sip Starbuck's or McDonald's lattes, eat at McCormick & Schmick's or Red Lobster, etc.? I truly don't. Some of you (not all, as I've said I've met some WONDERFUL people on this forum) need to re-examine your priorities. For me when 9/11 happened so close to home it snapped many here in Scranton into realizing that spending time with the ones you love is innumerably more important than "acquiring the most stuff."

How many of you have garages that are so packed with "stuff" that you can't park your vehicles inside of them?

I rest my case.

(END SOCIETAL RANT AGAINST MATERIALISM. INITIATE SHIELDS FROM RABID DISSENTERS!)

Every thing i bolded and underlined is a BIG reason of why i hate living in NoVA so much. Everyone is way too flashy. Its the i'm bigger and better than you mentaility. It is so refreshing to see a fellow early 20s guy talking like this.

I'm about paying my bills and getting out of debt. I dont care to have a big house and a new car to show off. I'll take a decent apt and keep my 01 accord as long as it drives. I've already made some financial mistakes and i'm doing my best to clean them up.