Washington Post Article is Bugging Me (townhome, buying, live)

[Denton56]

Originally Posted by Skapov

Hmm...you appear to be lucky in that you managed to adopt a healthy infant without paying, but that's not a "typical" scenario as the average age of a foster child is around 10 y/o. In addition, roughly 35% of all foster children are Black, and most Whites who are willing to adopt Asian/Hispanics are still unwilling to adopt Black children (especially boys) due to negative sterotypes. Now some people may ask, Why don't more African Americans adopt black foster children? Well, when you're a foster parent you get paid $700-800/mo. for each child, but once you adopt that child the money STOPS (this despite the fact that some of these foster kids need extra support such as therapy/tutoring/etc.). Also, if you ADOPT as opposed to Fostering, the child may not qualify for Financial Aid to pay for college since your income will be used to determine their entitlement, despite the fact that with an older child you wouldn't have had enough time to have saved up enough to pay for college.

Black families have an average household net worth that is only 10% of White household net worth (www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2008/jan/22/john-edwards/black-and-white-family-net-worth-disparity-true/), and so this is why black children are lingering in foster care while infertile couples whine on about how hard it is to find adoptable children. Indeed, it IS hard to find adoptable newborns who are white and healthy. I would LOVE to adopt a (black) child from foster care, but financially it would be wiser to simply FOSTER the child and not to complete a full Adoption and be the "forever family".

Most states subsidized adoptions of foster children. You might want to check into that. States learned long ago that it made sense to continue to pay parents who adopt children who would otherwise be unadoptable.

[lchoro]

They purchased for 314,690 in 2004. No way to know whether they pulled out equity when the property appreciated in value so that they're underwater.

washingtonpost.com: Loudoun Home Sales

[nwlv]

Originally Posted by lchoro

They purchased for 314,690 in 2004. No way to know whether they pulled out equity when the property appreciated in value so that they're underwater.

washingtonpost.com: Loudoun Home Sales

That was their condo. They sold it for 438,000 on 3-06-07. So they've lost all their equity.

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/42...61202045_zpid/

[imisscarlsbadcalifornia]

Originally Posted by claremarie

"I know the "feminist movement" is dead, but I still don't understand why women have given up on trying to be EQUAL to men. Women will never ever advance in the workplace if they keep letting men stick them with handling the domestic side of life and childcare,"

Here is why. Because MOST men don't really care as much as MOST women whether the towels are clean or the floor is dirty. They won't keep track of the toilet paper supply or the orthodontist appointments. Many women actually ENJOY the "domestic side of life and childcare," because they care more about both the process and the results than does their husband, who is happy with the bare minimum of household order. Many women would rather spend more time with their children, sick or well, than "advance in the workplace." Women are surely equal to men in human dignity and worth, but they are not and will never be the SAME as men.

I couldn't resist weighing in here.

I don't know about anyone else, but my definitions of "success" have changed as I've grown older. In my twenties I insisted on "tit for tat" score keeping kinds of arrangements within my relationships with men and was extremely career driven. Then one day a man came along who truly enjoyed giving, sharing, and supporting, and I noticed that he did way more for me than I did for him and that he wasn't keeping score. It made me stop and take a good look at myself; I didn't like what I saw. His example became a teacher to me but it was going to take a long time for the lessons to sink in.

In my 30's I was largely defined by my title, my salary, my bonus, my stock options, my house, my car, and my personal shopper...until I was 36. I hit a wall. Long story that doesn't really matter, but in short, I was in therapy, needed a pill to sleep, a pill to wake up, had a constant eye twitch, stomach problems, and was at times recklessly lonely. I had all of these "things", "power" (I use quotes because that is such a relative term), money, status, and I was more miserable than I had ever been in my life. Again, it's more a more circuitous story than this version, but I left the world I knew, took a few years off, traveled, spent time with friends, and took the time I needed to re-evaluate what was important to me, what I wanted for my own life. And when I figured it out, step by step I made it happen.

Fast forward ten years, I'm happily married, I don't need pills to sleep or wake up, I have no eye twitches, I don't have 140 people reporting to me, I clean my own house (because my husband would clean the bathtub with a toilet brush too...), I do our laundry, I do our grocery shopping, I cook, I host dinner parties for my husband's colleagues from time to time, I work three or four days a week in a totally different and fun profession because I enjoy it rather than because it is what I was groomed to do or because I have to, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life WITHOUT my personal shopper at Nordstrom or any of the other trappings of my former life. I have a running "honey do" list of things I either can't manage myself or would like help doing but try to make sure that we have time to do fun things together too.

I can relate to the poster who is totally gung ho about her job and a 50/50 split of household drudgeries. I can also relate to the poster that cleans her own house and enjoys her time at home. The truth is, there are so many ways of being in the world. Today, for me, success is measured by the amount of control I have over my time and my ability to maintain a balance in my life that works for me and for us as a couple. Power, for me, is the freedom to choose what I do, when I do it, and with whom and/or for whom I do it. As I cross yet another intersection (the one marked middle aged) that is my personal definition of equality, success, and personal fulfillment/empowerment. Given how much evolution my paradigm has encountered during the my first half century I am open to the possibility that my mindset could experience further "adjustments". I also know as I look behind me and look forward that we as women would do well to respect and support the varied choices that women make for themselves because success, power, fulfillment, and ultimately peace are all not only relative to each woman's past and present circumstances/experiences, but they are also fluid rather than static.

I am imperfect and have (hopefully) many more miles to travel, but I have learned the most from women who are unlike me when I have been able to look at their choices without preconceptions.

[Denton56]

Originally Posted by nwlv

That was their condo. They sold it for 438,000 on 3-06-07. So they've lost all their equity.

42478 Coronado Ter, Ashburn, VA 20148 - Zillow

If they bought it for $314 and sold it for $438, how is that a loss of equity?

[nwlv]

They sold the TH, and bought a SFH.

[slduvall]

Originally Posted by imisscarlsbadcalifornia

Today, for me, success is measured by the amount of control I have over my time and my ability to maintain a balance in my life that works for me and for us as a couple. Power, for me, is the freedom to choose what I do, when I do it, and with whom and/or for whom I do it. As I cross yet another intersection (the one marked middle aged) that is my personal definition of equality, success, and personal fulfillment/empowerment. Given how much evolution my paradigm has encountered during the my first half century I am open to the possibility that my mindset could experience further "adjustments". I also know as I look behind me and look forward that we as women would do well to respect and support the varied choices that women make for themselves because success, power, fulfillment, and ultimately peace are all not only relative to each woman's past and present circumstances/experiences, but they are also fluid rather than static.

I am imperfect and have (hopefully) many more miles to travel, but I have learned the most from women who are unlike me when I have been able to look at their choices without preconceptions.

Well said!!!!!!

[HEATHER72]

I keep meaning to post this to make you all laugh... I can top the poster who said their hubby cleaned the tub with the toilet brush. Mine had the audacity to bring an electric leaf blower into the house to blow furballs out from behind the furniture which in turn led to dust all over EVERYTHING. He thought he was a genius.

[Yankeesfan]

Heather, that did make me laugh on this rainy morning -- thanks!

[EuroExpat]

Originally Posted by HEATHER72

I keep meaning to post this to make you all laugh... I can top the poster who said their hubby cleaned the tub with the toilet brush. Mine had the audacity to bring an electric leaf blower into the house to blow furballs out from behind the furniture which in turn led to dust all over EVERYTHING. He thought he was a genius.

OMG!! That is too funny!