Are Negative Opinions Allowed on this Forum? (Arlington, Fairfax: broker, new home)

[terrence81]

Originally Posted by ChristineVA

Exactly. "Liberal" Northern Virginia seemed to swing the state in the last election!

As for I-66, I'm sure they would widen if they could. They just so happen to build I-66 right through established communities and then crowded more stuff right up next to it. Poor planning, indeed. However, they've had no problems widening I-95. They done a major widening since I moved here in 1994 and are working on it again.

Ah I see. Well I guess I thought the freeways would be as wide as they are in Atlanta 7 or 8 lanes. Which to me makes sense. Now I know they're widening the beltway but don't get me started on those HOT lanes.

[athousandlogins]

Besides the positive aspects that I have found personally in Woodbridge, I do post my negative thoughts.

Oh yeah - Woodbridge! Anybody who thinks negative opinions don't have a place here has never read a thread about Woodbridge. Hahaha.

ScranBarre, I do my best not to get involved - I mean, at the end of the day I don't really care very much what anybody posts here, including myself. But it's seriously a little frightening the way you react sometimes. I mean, way way way way over the top...it just feels kind of unstable. I don't know. It's like watching someone's psychological problems play out in bold over the internet. I think that disconcerts people and makes them prone to "louder" reactions than they have to most people here, most of the time.

[athousandlogins]

Yeah, terrence - talk to Arlington. They're the ones fighting any expansion of 66. It's been that way from the beginning - the road only got built in the first place because they promised Arlington County it wouldn't be wider than 2 lanes inside the Beltway and at the time, 2 lanes was okay. Now we really NEED more lanes, but Arlington is sticking to its guns and there's not much we schlubs in Fairfax can do about it. They must figure that they live close-in already, so to heck with everyone else

[ScranBarre]

See! Now this is turning into a great thread, and I hope we can all work our differences out from this point onward because the last thing I want is for anyone (including myself) to become enemies.

In regards to the "delivery" issue, I can agree that I can be an acquired taste. People in NEPA who have met me in public know that I'm a very down-to-earth and generally cordial person, but even they have told me that certain elements of my typing style have given me an aura of "arrogance." I suppose my verbosity threatens others, and it really shouldn't. I used to edit my thoughts for brevity's sake and would habitually "dumb down" some of my intricate vocabulary from time to time, and when a recently-belated high school English teacher of mine noticed this he pointed it out and advised me to never "lower" myself just to try to fit in anywhere. I suppose I took those words to heart a bit too much because now everywhere I go I'm ostracized for being a pompous windbag when I never realized it was off-base to have a yearn for English. To put things into perspective though I was a lead salesperson for my former employer, so obviously my "people skills" aren't as abysmal as what most of you must think.

My main gist here is that this sub-forum isn't going to be of much benefit to people in the long-term if it only has an overly-positive tilt. I have a newfound loss of respect for many on the Greenville, SC sub-forum who, instead of apologizing that their self-praising deceived someone from New England into thinking it was something it wasn't, decided to attack him. I'd feel TERRIBLY if someone came to Scranton from Chattanooga, for example, and then came back to report that it didn't meet the expectations set forth by those on our forum. This forum just needs to be more permissive of ALL angles---not just the "popular" ones---in order to prevent future cases like that from happening.

P.S. The "poser" argument might have admittedly been a bit over the top, but I've always come from the school of thought that you should sacrifice and work hard in life to achieve financial successes, so when I saw so many people my own age wearing Dolce & Gabbana, driving BMWs, fiddling with their iPhones as they sipped martinis, etc. I was just very turned off. If you're doing that in your mid-30s then fine; one ought to feel justified in such a case to project their TRUE net worth. However, I get a sour taste in my stomach for people whose parents bought them untold luxuries and then "pose" by passing them off as their own to their peers to make themselves appear more successful than they truly are. I know that not ONE 22-year-old there should have been flaunting any of those luxury items on their own accord given the low starting salaries in the region, and that was my gripe more than anything (I don't revere people who put others down for having less than they do through no fault of their own). It was just a matter of how will I look to these people I'm going to be expected to befriend if I don't have nearly enough money to "keep up" with them and their standards? It was just very, very disheartening.

[ChristineVA]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

.

P.S. The "poser" argument might have admittedly been a bit over the top, but I've always come from the school of thought that you should sacrifice and work hard in life to achieve financial successes, so when I saw so many people my own age wearing Dolce & Gabbana, driving BMWs, fiddling with their iPhones as they sipped martinis, etc. I was just very turned off. If you're doing that in your mid-30s then fine; one ought to feel justified in such a case to project their TRUE net worth. However, I get a sour taste in my stomach for people whose parents bought them untold luxuries and then "pose" by passing them off as their own to their peers to make themselves appear more successful than they truly are. I know that not ONE 22-year-old there should have been flaunting any of those luxury items on their own accord given the low starting salaries in the region, and that was my gripe more than anything (I don't revere people who put others down for having less than they do through no fault of their own). It was just a matter of how will I look to these people I'm going to be expected to befriend if I don't have nearly enough money to "keep up" with them and their standards? It was just very, very disheartening.

But you see--you really DON'T know. And that's where the judgemental part comes in. First off, my daughter goes to school with a few of your "posers." Their parents are wealthy, they own businesses, and the kids are going right into those businesses. Most of them are restaurant businesses and you would definitely know these places. These kids are not *trying* to make themselves look like something they are not. Most of the time, they were raised with money, they know nothing different, and odds are, they will continue on to be wealthy themselves. I know one family in particular came to this country in the past 20 years, struggled quite a bit, but put in extremely hard work. They now own several locations of a "Washingtonian's Best" pizzeria. Their son, who is 18, drives a Mercedes to school, has nice things, etc. He also works very hard in the restaurant and is a great student. What would you have said about him in Reston that night?

In this area, there are young people who have wonderful jobs. My cousin, who is in software accounting was pulling down 6 figures when she was 28 years old.

I think that is one thing that will shock you when you get here. Some people here truly have a lot of wealth. Even at a young age, they have managed to get the fantastic job. Or their family has money and they are in that business. Living in my little hovel in Woodbridge I never realized it. I didn't notice until I sent my daughter to a private school and we started seeing it firsthand. Blew my mind.

[Yankeesfan]

They may be 25-year-old first-year associates at law firms who worked hard to get through law school and are going to be working hard on their partnership track. It's really not your business how anyone got their money as long as they didn't obtain it through illegal means. Who cares? I see people with more expensive cars and more expensive houses than mine. But there are people who look at me and see a nicer car and a nicer house than what they have. Again, who cares? Just live your life. And yes, negative opinions are allowed, but they are received more favorably when the person who states them has some credibility. And since the primary purpose of this forum is for people who are from the area to answer questions from people who are coming here, credibility comes from having spent more than a single weekend here. The same would hold true elsewhere. I have browsed through the forums of the various places I have lived in my life but wouldn't offer advice to others based on my experiences from decades ago.

[mdcrim]

ScranBarre,

ChristineVA has hit the nail on the head. What you WILL find in this area is that there are a lot of wealthy people. There are quite a few really, really wealthy people. And wealthy parents share with their kids, like it or not. It may be tough to swallow (go to any high school in the more affluent sections of NOVA and compare the cars in the student parking lot with the cars in the teacher parking lot-it will be enlightening).

Also, not everyone starts out with low salaries for various reasons. There are plenty of young 20's earning in the $60's and $70's with little or no financial responsibilities.

You need to do what's best for you. If you are going to move here and resent the fact that the cost of living is high, you aren't making much money and you are constantly seeing your peers in better financial situations that you, I would strongly suggest you rethink your decision to move here.

I think some of the sentiments you are detecting are the result of the tone of your posts. Although it appears that you have chosen to move here, you seem to find the negative in everything about this area. I guess it seems that you have already made up your mind about the area, despite not really having much experience here. And your decision to move here, as much as you seem to dislike the area, really doesn't make much sense. If you decide to come, I hope that you bring an open mind with you. You never know, you may actually learn to like it. Good luck to you.

[LVMYDACH]

ScranBarre - Thought I would share this story with you because it is kind of relavant to your observations of many young adults in the area that have a lot of material things.

My daughter, who is a junior at a local university, is a member of a service faternity on campus called Alpha Phi Omega (APO). Throughout the school year they do many types of volunteer work in the community helping others. About a month ago they went to a local family homeless shelter to work with the kids making arts and crafts. They arrived at the shelter a little early than expected and had to sit in the reception area before they could begin working with the kids. There were several residents sitting in the lobby at that time. As they were sitting there passing the time away several of the APO members began using their I-Phones, blackberrys etc. Most of them were dressed nicely (some in designer clothes, girls with designer purses etc.) My daughter shared with me later that evening that she had a moment of profound sadness/embarrasment to observe this show of material things in the presence of the homeless family members who are less fortunate. The whole experience - going to the shelter and working with the kids was a humbling experience for her.

[normie]

I don't mind negative opinions, but ScranBarre, what I find annoying are the frequent number of posts from you that are misleading and often inaccurate.

I think you mean well, but you don't live here and you are not yet an expert, no matter how much "research" you do. You make judgements based on satellite photos and things you've read on the internet--as a result you often make wrong assumptions. And when people try to correct you, you go into attack mode.

I really wish you would stick to asking questions and learning about your new home rather than trying to pretend you're an expert when you are not.

People come to this forum becuase they need quick, accurate advice. Moving is very stressful. Inaccurate advice is just as aggravating whether it's positive or negative.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by normie

I don't mind negative opinions, but ScranBarre, what I find annoying are the frequent number of posts from you that are misleading and often inaccurate.

I think you mean well, but you don't live here and you are not yet an expert, no matter how much "research" you do. You make judgements based on satellite photos and things you've read on the internet--as a result you often make wrong assumptions. And when people try to correct you, you go into attack mode.

I really wish you would stick to asking questions and learning about your new home rather than trying to pretend you're an expert when you are not.

People come to this forum becuase they need quick, accurate advice. Moving is very stressful. Inaccurate advice is just as aggravating whether it's positive or negative.

Give me an example of when I professed to be an expert on the area, and also please give me some examples of how I frequently give inaccurate information. Let's not forget that just because my opinion may not be popular doesn't necessary disqualify it as being based upon false information.