Are Negative Opinions Allowed on this Forum? (Reston, Dale City: landscaping, neighborhoods)

[ScranBarre]

Since I'm once again involved in a heated thread I decided that the best thing for me to do would be to come clean in a new thread so as not to risk derailing any others from losing their "focus." I wanted to give everyone an "outlet" for us to settle our disputes once and for all. I personally want to know if there's some sort of "unspoken rule" on this forum amongst a majority of you that just because you're all happy living here means that anyone with a grievance or concern is not permitted to freely discuss it. Perhaps after reading the following paragraph you'll get a better understanding of the vague concept I'm trying to convey.

On the Connecticut forum a reputable member recently visited Greenville, SC and was very dismayed that the unfairly positive "tilt" of that sub-forum had deceived him into visiting a place that was by far divergent from what the "boosters" had led him to believe. When he brought this element of deceit to their attention after returning home, the very same people who encouraged him to visit criminalized him instead of offering an apology for their part in the "hype" that had led him to be deceived. Apparently they were too "proud" to admit that they had made a mistake by shutting out any and all negative commentary about Greenville.

I see the same situation brewing on this sub-forum. Why, may you ask? In the past two weeks I've been involved in several major conflicts in which I've warranted personal attacks and some nasty comments from people simply because I offered viewpoints that were divergent to their own. In MOST forums on City-Data there is a pretty healthy balance between the "boosters", the "downers", and those, like me, who have mixed feelings, and this balance helps people considering a move into a foreign area to get a clearer, untainted picture. On this forum I've only thus far encountered "boosters." Why? Are the "downers" or those who want to provide a more balanced outlook too terrified to speak their minds? Do some of you not realize that by only offering positives and by telling anyone who says anything negative, to paraphrase, "go away", that you are only doing people considering moving here a disservice? If I were moving to an area I'd surely want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly, not only the good (and don't try to tell me that there is "only" good in NoVA because that's blatantly inaccurate and makes you sound just as bad as those on the Greenville sub-forum who deceived the other member for their own benefit).

I don't know what the ultimate solution here is, but this "gang mentality" of backing each other up to eliminate a "threat" needs to stop. Yelling at me won't make me go away, as I'm not doing anything wrong, nor will calling me names. As evidence of this I posted my one thread "NoVA is Amazing," and even though the commentary was overwhelmingly positive I tried to balance it out with a few "setbacks" to keep things in perspective. To my chagrin people capitalized upon that minor negative aspect (in that case it was me worried about the "spoiled poser kid" factor in RTC) and used it to attack me again because they still had sour grapes over our first squabble about long-term land usage policies. It's as if someone could say "NoVA gets an A- in my book," and instead of being happy with that you slam the person for not assigning the area an "A." Why?

Here is my list of what I like and don't like about NoVA. As usual I suspect most will ignore the good, quote the bad, and then engage in a personal attack, even though I have listed more than twice as many pros as cons. Par for the course, I presume?

PROS:
Cultural Diversity
Economic Resilience
Ethnic Diversity
Ethnic Restaurants
Excellent Public Schools
Friendly Strangers (Perhaps Except for on this Forum)
Good Driving Skills
Intellectual Population
Lack of Urban Blight
Liberal Population
Mild Winters
Plentiful Shopping Options
Proximity to DC
Strong Police Presence
Vegetation/Lush Landscaping

CONS:
Exorbitant Cost-of-Living in Relation to Salaries
Lack of Mass Transit Options to DC
Lack of Sidewalks/Bike Lanes
Materialism
Spoiled Generation "Y"/High "Poser" Scene
Urban Sprawl/Lack of Residential Architectural "Character"

I just don't understand why those last six subjects (in addition to a few others I'm sure I'm forgetting right now) are "untouchable" for discussion purposes. You should all be very proud that I'm a very discerning person and find NoVA to be 75% good. Why, then, do you all continuously single out the 25% bad that I find with the area to slam me? Anyone who thinks this area is not worthy of warranting any criticism is, in my eyes, no better than the folks on the Greenville sub-forum guilty of deceiving that reputable CT member through their similar "silencing of the negatives." Like it or not I plan to be an upstanding part of your community, and I will NOT hesitate to open my mouth at town council meetings or zoning/planing commission meetings, even giving PowerPoint presentations when necessary, to try to help this area to succeed. There's no reason to harshly criticize someone because they are not 100% happy with the area that you are 100% happy with.

On most other forums people handle criticisms of their area with much more tact. Why the nastiness on here? Please, I want honest answers. I've never singled anyone out for name-calling, but it's happened to me on here. I'm not just going to stop speaking my mind, so if some of you were hoping that the stone-walling would work I can assure you that it will not. Perhaps some of you are used to dominating people in a "dog-eat-dog" environment in your professional lives, but if that's the case then you've finally met your match who won't back down from his principles just for the sake of decorum. There's absolutely NO valid reason why I nor any other member should feel intimidated for posting a divergent viewpoint.

[JEB77]

ScranBarre - I think the negative feedback you frequently receive relates about 98.5% to the inverse relationship between the length of your posts and the duration of your actual residence in NoVa. I wish you the very best, but I no longer read your full posts. It's just too much to digest.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by JEB77

ScranBarre - I think the negative feedback you frequently receive relates about 98.5% to the inverse relationship between the length of your posts and the duration of your actual residence in NoVa. I wish you the very best, but I no longer read your full posts.

I need to create lengthy posts because if I ever post something concise and "to the point" someone inevitably posts a reply along the lines of "Oh yeah. Well you forgot to point ___ out," prompting me to always go on the defensive, hence why I try to round all of the bases in a single post to not permit anyone to use that to their advantage. That's the main reason I become long-winded from time to time. It's a double-edged sword though. Post too short and people pounce on you for omissions. Post too long and people pounce on you for far too few omissions. To be quite frank I'm just wearing out from all of the arguing.

[ChristineVA]

I post negatively quite often. Besides the positive aspects that I have found personally in Woodbridge, I do post my negative thoughts. Mainly to do with schools, certain neighborhoods, etc. I have stated that I think it can be a difficult place to live commute-wise, but alternatively it can be a public transit dream because of the options. Only once did I get a reply from a poster who felt that I was always slamming Dale City.

In some cases, with you, ScranBarre, it could be your personal delivery of your posts. You have visited here all of one weekend (maybe another that I might have missed) and you made some sweeping generalizations about the "posers" in Reston. Now, many of us have lived here for a long time and, certainly, we've seen "posers" but you had a way of stating it that made it seem like the place was full of them. Maybe from your Pennsylvania viewpoint, our different culture and appearance looks that way to you?? I have been known to make off-the-cuff remarks about different U.S. type populations. For instance, as a government worker, I often meet with some counterparts of mine from the Philly area. Everyone of them seems/acts/talks like something out of the Sopranos. There's an accent and roughness to them all them all that is SOOO different from people around here that it's hard not to put a label on them, as you have done with the "posers." I'm sure if I made that sort of statement on a Philly forum, it wouldn't go over well.

I really don't think anyone overly minds negative posts. Of course, there are those people who don't want to hear it as they need to be validated in their life: all their choices must be the best choices, know what I mean?

I have not been offended by your critiques or any of you negative points, but the delivery ALWAYS gives me a chuckle. I'm sure many people could see some overly critical/cynical traits in it.

[athousandlogins]

No, negative opinions are not allowed here. We are all unicorns and rainbows all the time. Well, except when we're threatening and intimidating people for not falling in line. It's very complex.

[JEB77]

Originally Posted by ChristineVA

In some cases, with you, ScranBarre, it could be your personal delivery of your posts. You have visited here all of one weekend (maybe another that I might have missed) and you made some sweeping generalizations about the "posers" in Reston. Now, many of us have lived here for a long time and, certainly, we've seen "posers" but you had a way of stating it that made it seem like the place was full of them.

And, you know, there are two sides to these stories. I've noticed folks in Reston and Tysons whom ScranBarre would, perhaps, label as "posers" (or is it "poseurs"). Not an insignificant number of them seem to be recent immigrants to the States - and, even if my gut reaction is to put down anyone with more fashion sense and/or money than I have (which takes care of about 95% of the general population), it actually does make me happy that people come here and realize some of their aspirations, even if it just means a nice pair of sunglasses, new designer jeans or a Langley decal on a rear-view mirror.

[Anders15]

Virginia = Conservative.

They don't like change or any talk of it. They believe the state is fine the way it is and if you have a problem, YOU are the problem. Same goes for posting it seems.

[terrence81]

Originally Posted by RonMaverick804

Virginia = Conservative.

They don't like change or any talk of it. They believe the state is fine the way it is and if you have a problem, YOU are the problem. Same goes for posting it seems.

Well...you have to keep in mind that Northern Virginia itself isnt' that conservative. However I will say that one thing that bugs me about this place is that the roads were never widened. Just bugs me that 66 is the same width now as it was 25 years ago. That might just go back to poor planning. Now yes I'm aware of the argument that public transportation is more important than wide roads which a lot of people don't like. However I'd rather have a wide highway than be stuck in traffic.

As far as being negative, well sure be negative. However if it overwhelms the reader then there might be a response. Often it might not neccesarily be an attack but simply a disagreement.

[ChristineVA]

Originally Posted by terrence81

Well...you have to keep in mind that Northern Virginia itself isnt' that conservative. However I will say that one thing that bugs me about this place is that the roads were never widened. Just bugs me that 66 is the same width now as it was 25 years ago. That might just go back to poor planning. Now yes I'm aware of the argument that public transportation is more important than wide roads which a lot of people don't like. However I'd rather have a wide highway than be stuck in traffic.

As far as being negative, well sure be negative. However if it overwhelms the reader then there might be a response. Often it might not neccesarily be an attack but simply a disagreement.

Exactly. "Liberal" Northern Virginia seemed to swing the state in the last election!

As for I-66, I'm sure they would widen if they could. They just so happened to build I-66 right through established communities and then crowded more stuff right up next to it. Poor planning, indeed. However, they've had no problems widening I-95. They have done a major widening since I moved here in 1994 and are working on it again.

[Anders15]

Oh, I'm in the capital.