What constitutes as being "rude" in NoVA (Fairfax: apartment, to rent)

[Samara11]

I keep reading posts on this forum about people being rude and unfriendly. I've so far only come across rude drivers not met anyone in person who's been rude or unfriendly. Maybe I'm one of those rude and unfriendly people, so I wanted to get your perspective on things. Can anyone define for me whats considered "rude" here.

- If I have only 10 minutes to go get my grocery shopping done and so I do not strike up conversations with people around me, is that considered rude?
- If I do not smile at people walking by me in the mall, or in the restaurant, (unless they smile at me first), is that rude?
- If I just wave hi to my neighbor, ask how they've been and then continue with my gardening or cleaning or whatever I was doing and not chat about the weather or anything else, is that rude?

[EuroExpat]

Nope thats not rude. Many busy people act like that. IMO being rude is pushing people around, bitching at customer service people (post office comes to mind), cutting people off in traffic just because they think they're more important than anyone else etc. So I guess rude people are everywhere! I've just met a few more in this area than anyplace else.

[ScranBarre]

Outside of this forum I didn't experience even one "rude" person over our three-day visit to Northern Virginia, and that is not a lie. I would hold doors for people, and they'd say "Thanks." The couple at the cafe I mentioned earlier bent over backwards to try to help us and welcome us, complete strangers from hundreds of miles away, to the area, even though they had nothing to "gain" by it. Normie, though older, braved an ailment to photograph areas for me to consider as I did my apartment-hunting and she, too, is a complete stranger.

Perhaps I'm just jaded though because I've grown up in an area where many people are more miserable-leaning because they blame their coal mining ancestry's poor treatment for why many of them can't hack it professionally today. I regularly will be the one to strike up a random conversation with someone in line, will hold doors for people, will smile and say "Hello" or "Good morning" to someone I walk past on the street, etc. More often than not people try to edge out of my idle banter uncomfortably, don't acknowledge I've held a door for them, and will grunt inaudibly like the GEICO caveman if I greet them as I run by them. At my former workplace I was once helping a customer along with one of my managers, and both proceeded to start gay-bashing when they got off into some sort of tangent in casual conversation as they tried to "bond." I lost all respect for that manager that day to degrade an employee's demographic in front of him in order to sweetheart a sale, but I can't say I'm surprised because racism/homophobia in my area is still sadly alive and prevalent.

Despite the three cons I keep dwelling upon in the other thread this move is going to be a HUGE step upwards for me. I just wish people on this forum would stop RUDELY telling me "If you don't like it then giiiitttt out" for pointing out just a few concerns for discussion.

[runnerup]

Yes... pushing people around and being rude to customer service. Also getting in front of you when you are next in line to order lunch because you forgot to ask for ketchup or need directions. You still need to get in line buddy! Or talking on the cell phone during movies, doctor exams, or even while communicating with customer service and slowing down the whole line. Just because it rings doesn't mean you need to answer it.

[runnerup]

Or butting in line because you don't speak english well and apparently in your country people don't have lines. So when you show then the line they claim that they can't speak english. But they can order a hamburger with fries very well.

[mlv311]

I haven't used the term "rude" to describe NOVA people on this forum, but what I find rude is when people you see regularly (e.g., other parents at school) avoid eye contact at all cost and don't reply to "hi." Some people act as if you are not even standing next to them. The other thing I find rude is when my child says "hi" to someone at the playground, library, check-out counter, etc., and the adult/child can't even reciprocate with a "hello."

[jmking]

Originally Posted by runnerup

Or butting in line because you don't speak english well and apparently in your country people don't have lines. So when you show then the line they claim that they can't speak english. But they can order a hamburger with fries very well.

I've noticed this before and a world traveling relative of mine explained in some countries, standing in line and waiting your turn is not something many cultures are accustomed to, they do things differently. Not sure what differently is, but to me it could be "first come first served"

[Fern435]

Originally Posted by mlv311

I haven't used the term "rude" to describe NOVA people on this forum, but what I find rude is when people you see regularly (e.g., other parents at school) avoid eye contact at all cost and don't reply to "hi." Some people act as if you are not even standing next to them. The other thing I find rude is when my child says "hi" to someone at the playground, library, check-out counter, etc., and the adult/child can't even reciprocate with a "hello."

We've experienced this too, particularly at the old neighborhood where we used to rent. And they would talk about friends and teachers behind each other's back. It was strange. But they always came up with the damage-control spin to protect the image of their neighborhood, even when a man threatened to kill himself in his backyard. That was a bizarre afternoon, with Fairfax County helicopters and the police blocking the streets...

[horseplayer]

mobile phone, no turn signal, no assets......

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by horseplayer

no turn signal

Really? I pointed it out that NoVA drivers were generally speaking VERY skilled. Many were using their turn signals, and even on heinous Route 7 as soon as we flipped on our blinker it wouldn't take someone long to leave a large enough break in traffic for someone to let us merge in (perhaps they were just thinking "Uh oh. Those Pennsylvanians don't know how to drive so I better get out of their way?!") LOL!