Are people more stuck up in Fairfax or Loudoun County? (Arlington: credit card, big house)

[cdmurphy]

Originally Posted by normie

Oooh, you bring up a good point. People in Loduoun are down-to-earth... but Fairfax Mom, they may not appeal to you because they also tend to be more--well--the closest words I can think of are "restrained" or "laid back" or maybe "genteel." Neither of those words are quite right--but the point is you're not likely to find loud, pushy, brash people here. If you are comfortable around people who act like the cliche "pushy New Yorker" you might find people in Loudoun boring. And people may not get your sense of humor.

I don't know, there seem to be quite a few NY/NJ transplants around here that spend all their time complaining about the lack of decent bagels/pizza/etc. Sometimes I hear them screeching in a public place (especially Starbucks and Wegmans), and yes, they can be pushy. Hopefully most of them mellow out over time. (My husband did. )

[normie]

Originally Posted by cdmurphy

I don't know, there seem to be quite a few NY/NJ transplants around here that spend all their time complaining about the lack of decent bagels/pizza/etc. Sometimes I hear them screeching in a public place (especially Starbucks and Wegmans), and yes, they can be pushy. Hopefully most of them mellow out over time. (My husband did. )

Lots of New Yorkers? Cool, sounds like we've found a potential neighborhood for Mom! Hmm, maybe I should head over there myself. Sounds like a fun place to meet someone for coffee.

[ChristineVA]

Originally Posted by cdmurphy

I don't know, there seem to be quite a few NY/NJ transplants around here that spend all their time complaining about the lack of decent bagels/pizza/etc.

Well, they would be right!! I don't even think I've tasted New York/New Jersey pizza and bagels but I know they aren't very good here.

[JEB77]

Originally Posted by ChristineVA

Well, they would be right!! I don't even think I've tasted New York/New Jersey pizza and bagels but I know they aren't very good here.

Don't forget Chinese food. I had colleagues from NY come to DC and ask me to order Chinese take-out one evening. I flat-out refused, as I couldn't bear to think about the complaints and comparisons that were sure to follow! Fortunately, our Korean, Thai and Vietnamese restaurants are at least as good, if not better, than what you'd find in NYC. Kvetching is a true New York art form, but is best performed on the local stage in Manhattan for local audiences.

[cav fan]

I just moved to Loudoun County in December 2008. I grew up in Fairfax County but have lived in other parts of Virginia for most of the last twenty years. My husband and I moved into a McMansion neighborhood that has a reputation for being very snooty. I was really worried about that, especially that we wouldn't fit in because we are very down-to-earth people and not into "keeping up with the Jones'." We like to be frugal and practical, and I didn't think we would fit in at all in my new neighborhood.

However, I have been very pleasantly surprised to meet all kinds of very nice, down-to-earth neighbors on my street and in this area. I was quite shocked, actually. I have come to realize that even if most of your neighbors have doctorates or drive fancy cars or have the appearance of being stuck-up, most of them are actually very nice people who probably have a lot in common with you. In my experience, just being friendly and interested to get to know people is really appreciated in this area where most people have no idea who their neighbors are. I think it also helps to try to BE a good neighbor in order to get along with your neighbors (i.e. take care of your yard and try not to bug other people, etc.).

So in other words, whether you may be in Loudoun or Fairfax, I don't think you can judge an entire area or the people in it by a reputation it may have. And by the way, I never see anyone driving a Volvo. I used to live in Charlottesville where every other car on the road in a Volvo, so I'm used to noticing that!

[themommy]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

Now - I know a lot of you cant stand my question and dont agree with it - but - really - I am curious as to which county seems to have the most snooty, overeducated, competitive, McMansion loving, volvo driving, Sub Zero refrigerator coveting, keeping up with the Jones type of people.

My husband has a job offer out in Louden and I am wondering if we would like it better out there - you know - more real, down to earth people who dont care that I dont have a PhD -

Did I spell Louden correctly?

I don't really understand why snooty = overeducated, competitive, McMansion-loving, Volvo-driving, Sub Zero-refrigerator-coveting, and keeping up with the Joneses. Well, maybe I get the one about the Joneses.

But really, and I so don't mean this as a personal attack at you, FairfaxMom, people who make assumptions about other people based on the level of education they've chosen to attain and/or where they've chosen to pursue that education, what type of house they chose to make their home, or what vehicle they prefer, are just being unpleasant in general. Call it snooty, call it stuck up, call it whatever, it's just sad. And it's sad regardless of the direction in which the judgment is being directed.

Now, if it's going to bother you to live in an area saturated with people who've pursued advanced degrees and drive European cars, then by all means you should find a place that's not like that. Everybody should live where they're most happy. But assuming that people are snooty because of their possessions or accomplishments just seems like a really good way to cut a bunch of potentially terrific people out of your life before you even give them a chance.

Into every neighborhood -- blue-collar, white-collar, or otherwise -- some snoots must fall. You can't avoid them just by avoiding postgraduate degrees and luxury kitchens.

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by themommy

I don't really understand why snooty = overeducated, competitive, McMansion-loving, Volvo-driving, Sub Zero-refrigerator-coveting, and keeping up with the Joneses. Well, maybe I get the one about the Joneses.

But really, and I so don't mean this as a personal attack at you, FairfaxMom, people who make assumptions about other people based on the level of education they've chosen to attain and/or where they've chosen to pursue that education, what type of house they chose to make their home, or what vehicle they prefer, are just being unpleasant in general. Call it snooty, call it stuck up, call it whatever, it's just sad. And it's sad regardless of the direction in which the judgment is being directed.

Now, if it's going to bother you to live in an area saturated with people who've pursued advanced degrees and drive European cars, then by all means you should find a place that's not like that. Everybody should live where they're most happy. But assuming that people are snooty because of their possessions or accomplishments just seems like a really good way to cut a bunch of potentially terrific people out of your life before you even give them a chance.

Into every neighborhood -- blue-collar, white-collar, or otherwise -- some snoots must fall. You can't avoid them just by avoiding postgraduate degrees and luxury kitchens.

For me I wish nothing but the best for people who possess Ivy-league terminal degrees and have excelled in their chosen professions as such accomplishments should be encouraged, not admonished, but the one thing that irks me is why people have to "look" affluent (i.e. wearing designer outfits that cost as much as one of my pay checks, driving around in Jaguars and BMWs when a Prius or Civic Hybrid does the job just as well, living in a 4,500 square foot McMansion with 4 BRs and 3.5 BAs on a fully-cleared 1/2-acre lot for their one child, etc.) Even when I was only earning $15,000 annually at my former sales job while going to school full-time I still ensured to give as much as I could to charity and to my church.

I have no compulsion to try to "one-up" my neighbors, and this is something I don't understand about society today (No, most certainly not just in NoVA specifically before I get slammed, as this even happens here in Scranton). I wear mostly the same clothes I've been wearing since high school (I haven't grown much). I was planning to drive my 11-year-old Ford Contour with well over 100,000 miles in NoVA until I realized a hefty repair cost was looming, hence why I just ran out and bought a pre-owned Mazda 3---by no means pretentious in nature. I clip coupons, buy generic brands, and often "do without," even when I have the finances that permit me to splurge. I just will never understand why people who earn $250,000 annually need to spend $250,000 annually while some who earn $100,000 annually only spend $75,000 annually. Do people flaunt "toys" to make themselves appear more important than they truly are in order to compensate for feeling insecure? Can someone driving around in a Maserati, for example, please justify to me how spending so much on that vehicle makes it "better" than a car a fraction of the price? I read somewhere that an insanely low percentage of the world's population holds an insanely high proportion of its wealth. I'm not going to pull the "Obama card" and say "take from the rich and give to the poor," but imagine all of the "struggling" families in NoVA that may have benefited if fewer people were driving $50,000 vehicles and using the $25,000 they saved by buying a $25,000 vehicle to help them out.

[live_strong28]

I'm not sure it's intentionally snooty, but if you have kids in school, you can see/hear about other kids going overseas during spring breaks, having lake/beach homes, taking vacations, being involved in multiple activities, having blowout birthday parties, etc. Or, you go to their house and their backyards are done up like something from Groundbreakers.

As good as the NoVA public school system is, you also hear about how parents enroll their kids in private schools where tuition can easily hit 30k/year for the regular school year.

I did find it funny one time, when a coworker of mine who lives in Loudon remarked that she was surprised to find out that Fairfax Cty's average SAT scores were higher.

Well duh, the FFX public schools are better too.

[athousandlogins]

I'm a SAHM, and so are most of my friends here. So we've all got the same miserable income of zero But for the life of me, I can't even tell you what their husbands DO for a living, never mind where they attended school and what degrees they have. I don't know, we just don't talk about it. Most of us live in townhouses, and I don't think I've ever seen a SubZero. Most of us live in FFX but some live in Loudoun and I haven't noticed any real difference. Though one time I was shopping in Loudoun and a group of teenagers was really nice to me, that was kind of neat. (I was pregnant and they went out of their way to hold the door for me and say hi to my 2 year old, who of course was in awe.) They did seem very down-to-earth. Thumbs up.

That said, I have bumped into plenty of those people - the type who want to immediately figure out if you're "worth" knowing - when I've gone to social events in DC proper. This was especially fun during those years I was a secretary, oh my God. They almost couldn't run to the other end of the room fast enough.

[janie01]

When I first moved into my current house, I groaned when I noticed the gorgeous woman across the street with the Mercedes and a house triple the size of mine. Lesson learned: Don't judge people by what they have. She and her family are the most down to earth, wonderful people I have ever known. Since then, I have met and become friends with many people just like them. I have no idea if they have any advanced degrees. We have discussed where we went to school, but it was only because we became good friends or were in the process of having our kids start applying to colleges. I became best friends quickly with another woman in my neighborhood, and didn't find out til a few months later that her and her husband were both doctors. When you are in your early twenties it may be more of a conversation starter, but after that, no one cares! I try to never judge people by what they have or don't have. I have a nice house, drive a European car, after much angst did let my oldest go to Europe over spring break, but I know that I can lose it all tomorrow. I know I have these things because I am extremely frugal and my husband works really hard. There are always people that have a lot less and a lot more and all can be your friends.