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Old 07-06-2009, 09:39 PM
 
3,164 posts, read 6,118,809 times
Reputation: 1264

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Quote:
Originally Posted by juniperbleu View Post
Gotta say that I agree. It can only be taken as an "insult" if being gay is something negative to you in which case it is your problem to either learn to brush it off or get better "gay"dar and avoid them. Yes, I've known at least several straight men who were hit on by other men and had no problem with it. They took it to mean "I'm clean, dressed well, and must look good". The ones who did freak out tended to be insecure or immature.

I don't know any straight women who would be offended by another woman hitting on them.
Once again, I have to say, no straight woman wants to think she looks like a lesbian.

I never said anything about anyone freaking out. I said no straight man wants to think that he looks gay. Ditto straight women. It's insulting to most straight people.

BTW, isn't it a bit of stereotyping to think that all gay men are "clean, well dressed, and look good"?

Clean?! Sheeze. How many dirty straight people do you know?
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Old 07-06-2009, 11:43 PM
 
7,966 posts, read 18,041,228 times
Reputation: 2588
FWIW, the few times that this straight guy has been hit on by gay guys, I was more surprised than offended. Actually, as I wasn't getting many dates at the time, I felt bad that I couldn't reciprocate.

ScranBarre, I trust that by now you've connected with some interesting LGBT-friendly groups here in NOVA and perhaps DC.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:07 AM
 
1,221 posts, read 2,129,005 times
Reputation: 1057
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
Once again, I have to say, no straight woman wants to think she looks like a lesbian.

I never said anything about anyone freaking out. I said no straight man wants to think that he looks gay. Ditto straight women. It's insulting to most straight people.

BTW, isn't it a bit of stereotyping to think that all gay men are "clean, well dressed, and look good"?

Clean?! Sheeze. How many dirty straight people do you know?
What do gay people look like?
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Old 07-07-2009, 06:17 AM
 
1,326 posts, read 2,687,166 times
Reputation: 992
My very straight, very naive husband gets hit on all the time. We were on the metro after the gay pride parade a couple weeks ago. This group of guys was very entertaining to my 6 year old who loved their mardi gras necklaces, they were goofing with her the whole ride. My husband who was standing up the whole time, which he prefers on the train (it didn't look like we were together) chimes into one of their conversations about school. After about 15 minutes they get off the train, one of the guys says it was REALLY nice talking to you. And walks off. My husband said "What a nice group of guys" they must be in the military ..so polite...he totally missed the "don't ask don't tell" t-shirt! I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants!

We spent this past weekend at a hotel in the city. We were over by dupont circle having dinner and the waiter was very interested in talking to my husband. He again was clueless, "what great service they have here". I told him to watch the cafes as we walked by, he got lots of once overs. He isn't particularily good looking, but very tall and a fitness freak and it shows, he is 51 but looks about 30. Nothing was overt, but complimentary. The same way a women would be complemented. I think 10 years ago he would have been bothered but now he takes it as it was intended.
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Old 07-07-2009, 08:30 AM
 
Location: DC
3,286 posts, read 10,567,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
Once again, I have to say, no straight woman wants to think she looks like a lesbian.
Why not? What does "looking like a lesbian" mean?

As for the "clean, well dressed, and look good" comment, yes, it's a stereotype and not always true. I was just quoting what I was told by my guy friends and how if that's "looking gay" then how is it really an insult?
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Manassas, VA
352 posts, read 1,440,286 times
Reputation: 85
Try googling these terms:

Dulles Triangles
Burgundy Crescent
Equality Fairfax
Arlington Gay & Lesbian Alliance
Equality Prince William
Equality Loudoun
Alexandria Gay & Lesbian Community Association
Equality Virginia

None are dating services, but all are good places to meet kindred spirits.
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
30,101 posts, read 67,193,623 times
Reputation: 15748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
Once again, I have to say, no straight woman wants to think she looks like a lesbian.

I never said anything about anyone freaking out. I said no straight man wants to think that he looks gay. Ditto straight women. It's insulting to most straight people.

BTW, isn't it a bit of stereotyping to think that all gay men are "clean, well dressed, and look good"?

Clean?! Sheeze. How many dirty straight people do you know?
With all due respect if I don't consider it an insult to be frequently mistaken for a straight man, then why should a straight man feel insulted to be mistaken for being gay? If a girl hits on me I tell her honestly that I don't swing in that direction but try to pepper it with something encouraging such as "but if I did swing that way your alluring eyes truly would have sold me at first sight." I'm not at all suggesting a straight guy should say that to help "spare the feelings" of an errant gay guy hitting on him in the same fashion, but there's no reason why a straight male ought to be so "offended" by it and react in a very nasty or profane fashion. When a girl hits on me I take it as a compliment, and my self-esteem is noticeably higher the rest of the day. I would think that if a relatively good-looking male such as myself flirted with another male whom I erroneously presumed was gay that THAT male should feel somewhat EXALTED to know that he's being "noticed." I know I would be!
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
30,101 posts, read 67,193,623 times
Reputation: 15748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone509 View Post
FWIW, the few times that this straight guy has been hit on by gay guys, I was more surprised than offended. Actually, as I wasn't getting many dates at the time, I felt bad that I couldn't reciprocate.

ScranBarre, I trust that by now you've connected with some interesting LGBT-friendly groups here in NOVA and perhaps DC.
Actually I've made some LGBT friends on my own, and I've ventured into DC with them on a few occasions. I'm not one that is intimately allured by the typical local "gay" scene of drinking/clubbing/hooking-up, but I've actually been pleasantly surprised that I have found people here who have mutual interests.
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:07 PM
 
3,164 posts, read 6,118,809 times
Reputation: 1264
Quote:
Originally Posted by juniperbleu View Post
Why not? What does "looking like a lesbian" mean?

As for the "clean, well dressed, and look good" comment, yes, it's a stereotype and not always true. I was just quoting what I was told by my guy friends and how if that's "looking gay" then how is it really an insult?
You've not been around lesbian couples? Really? Let's put it this way, they aren't usually candidates for Miss America. Most prefer the masculine look, very short hair, no makeup, nothing feminine in their attire.

Before everyone goes nuts, yes, I've heard that there are feminine lesbians, I've just never seen one. I suspect that they are a small minority of the lesbian community.
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Old 07-08-2009, 07:14 AM
 
5,071 posts, read 8,616,501 times
Reputation: 2722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
You've not been around lesbian couples? Really? Let's put it this way, they aren't usually candidates for Miss America. Most prefer the masculine look, very short hair, no makeup, nothing feminine in their attire.

Before everyone goes nuts, yes, I've heard that there are feminine lesbians, I've just never seen one. I suspect that they are a small minority of the lesbian community.
Do you really want to be the Anita Bryant of the sub-forum on this topic? This gave me a good chuckle. My guess is that you've seen plenty of "feminine lesbians" over your lifetime, but just didn't know their preferences. It's OK - you can still catch that episode of "Friends" in re-runs!
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