LGBT Scene in Reston? (Arlington, Alexandria: houses, high school, live in)

[ScranBarre]

Can any LGBT individuals on this forum who live in Reston/Herndon tell me what sort of "scene" there is here? Reston Singles only lets you join under the categories of "I'm a Man Seeking a Woman" or "I'm a Woman Seeking a Man," which means I can't use that as a resource. Most of the other resources I've tried online for "Men Seeking Men" have been strictly sexual (and rather obscene for that matter) in nature, and I'm at the point where I'm looking to actually DATE someone in hopes of settling down. The only gay friends I've made down here so far have been one younger gay couple whom I enjoyed a board game night with the other night, but since I'm not the "get drunk at a bar/go clubbing to techno music" type I have a feeling I'm going to have difficulty finding a like-minded mate in this part of Fairfax County. Where are the LGBT hot-spots in Herndon/Reston, or do we all have to migrate via the Route 7 cha-cha line into Arlington/DC? Considering there are several hundred thousand people from Reston northwestwards (including Reston, Herndon, Chantilly, Ashburn, Sterling, Lansdowne, Leesburg, etc., etc.) I'm surprised there's not more resources available to us out here.

Heterosexuals take for granted the ease of approaching someone whom you find attractive, paying them a compliment, striking up a conversation, exchanging phone numbers, etc. We can't do that. If I were to hang out in the Reston Barnes & Noble and see a guy with nice eyes walk by I run the risk of getting a bloody lip or a black eye if I said something totally innocent and nice about his appearance and tried to show even a slight romantic interest. If I were a straight male and had a gay male pay me a compliment I'd just politely say "Sorry. I don't swing that way" and shrug it off, which is why I don't understand why it's so difficult for other heterosexual males to do the same if THEY are approached. I'm not effeminate, nor do I "act gay," so I never get hit on out in public (by fellow males anyways although I've had girls hit on me, whom I've also politely turned down). Is there like some sort of LGBT Alliance or Pride Group up here, or am I out of luck? Nearly half of all householders in Reston live alone, so surely I'm not the ONLY one here, right?

[Fern435]

I don't think anyone has it easy meeting anyone here--gay, straight, platonic...

This is a really tough area to strike up friendships, romance, etc. I think men have it a little harder than women do here.

Have you tried looking on meetup? There is something for almost any interest, lifestyle, and category imaginable.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by Fern435

I don't think anyone has it easy meeting anyone here--gay, straight, platonic...

This is a really tough area to strike up friendships, romance, etc. I think men have it a little harder than women do here.

Have you tried looking on meetup? There is something for almost any interest, lifestyle, and category imaginable.

Thanks for the tip! I hadn't thought of Meet-Up! I agree it probably IS tough for anyone given that so many young single professionals here are "married" to their careers, but it's especially difficult for non-heterosexuals because if we're not into the typical "scene" (i.e. techno dance clubs, gay bars, bath houses---shudder) then there's no way for us to effectively flirt with someone without running the risk of accidentally setting our sights upon someone who is heterosexual and who does NOT exactly "take kindly" to being complimented. At least if a girl hits on me she won't get a black eye. If a gay guy hits on a "macho" straight guy (without knowing his orientation), then look out!

[ScranBarre]

Well actualy one member just DMed me the link to an LGBT organization designed for those of us "outside the Beltway", so I thank you so much! I'm going to check that out!

[Fern435]

You have a valid point/concern! And I'm glad you did not take my post as dismissive of your situation! It was not intended to be a brush off.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by Fern435

You have a valid point/concern! And I'm glad you did not take my post as dismissive of your situation! It was not intended to be a brush off.

Not at all. I knew you weren't being dismissive. I just wish straight guys wouldn't get their panties (errr...boxers?) in a bunch if another guy inadvertantly hit on them. I can see going ballistic if a guy like groped you or something, but why fly off the handle if someone just subtly flirted with you? It takes TREMENDOUS courage to try to compliment someone in a public place in hopes of garnering their romantic attention, so at least just brush it off and say "Not interested." What, is it an "attack" on your precious masculinity or something? I played baseball, work out, run, hike, do yard work, like cars, watch hockey, etc. like many straight guys do (which is probably why I never get hit on out in public, but I digress). The old cruel stereotype that gay guys just run around wearing tiaras with lisps and limp wrists quite simply isn't true, and quite frankly it's asinine to assume as such as I know some STRAIGHT GUYS who are more effeminate than I am!

I just don't understand it. As I said before from my perspective if I WERE heterosexual and a guy asked me out, I would turn him down politely and then probably reflect upon it as a COMPLIMENT to my appearance that I was able to attract someone---anyone---to me (as I do NOW when girls flirt with me). Some guys just need to take a chill pill! SHEESH! LOL!

[Bigfoot424]

I don't recall the name of the place but there is a bar/restaurant in Manassas (Old Town) that was featured fairly recently in the local paper. One night a week the upstairs (I think) is a Gay/Lesbian night. Not sure if you're looking for something like that or not. I go by it and can provide the name if interested but I have no clue what day or who to contact. Maybe the establishment itself?

[Tone509]

Like with most metros, you really are going to find the most concentrated LGBT activities in the city proper, Dupont Circle in particular. But I'm sure there are other socializing spots out here in the 'burbs.

I know that the Alexandria Gay and Lesbian Association (I may have the exact name wrong) sponsors the Old Town stretch of King Street as part of the city's "adopt-a-street" volunteer cleaning program. That might be another option to look into without having to cross the river.

[jmusmc85]

Yeah, I don't think you will have much luck finding what you are looking for in the suburbs. The closest thing might be Freddies Beach Bar in Crystal City, but even that is much closer to the DC side.

[DC Oldtimer]

All you need to find is a gay high school student. Kids can tell you anything you want to know about the local nightlife.