Successful Party Conversation in NOVA (college, living, friendly)

[themommy]

I like to ask other people questions and see where the conversation leads. Unfortunately, now that we and all of our friends have kids, the conversation almost always leads to babies, then to poop. Even when it's an adults-only function. I would *love* to go to a party and not discuss poop.

Aside from the poop talks, we normally end up talking about our jobs and/or grad school, but almost everyone we know is on a pretty interesting career path, so it winds up being fun conversation.

[Denton56]

Ask lots of questions and listen to people. People will think you're a brilliant conversationalist if you encourage THEM to talk. EVERYONE has a story, something interesting to share. Just find a way to keep them talking and it will come out. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "wow, I can't believe I just told you that". I refrain from saying "I hear that ALL the time". People love to talk about themselves, just give them a forum to do it. Ask questions. It always works.

[athousandlogins]

Our kids! All the people I know here are parents, so we always end up talking about our kids. Which frankly is boring as hell. I mean, I love my children, but I get enough of them all day.

When I don't want to talk about the kids, I ask people what they do, then when they answer, I ask them if they like it. That question always, always surprises people and they almost always have interesting answers (often it leads on a tangent of, "well, I wanted to do X, but..." Few people grow up dreaming of working on defense contracts, you know?)

But I totally agree with Denton56 - asking any question that will get people talking about themselves will make you the life of the party. Most people have all sorts of stuff they're just WAITING to tell, if someone will stop and listen.

[normie]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

Here are mine to avoid: your house, your car, your education, your work, how smart your kids are

Amen to these. Unless you've done something really bizarre to your house, your home improvements aren't that fascinating.

One time I wrote a murder mystery and that led to some fun conversations. People love to share creative ideas for murder! (Not sure what that says about life here in NOVA... ) All I had to do was give them an obnoxious character. "One of my characters is a guy who won't stop talking on a cell phone. But I can't think of a creative way to murder him. Any ideas?"

[movedoften]

I think that this is a great thread. It reconfirms to me how socially dysfunctional this area actually is. I have been to tons of parties in many cities and my experience is you show up and the conversation just flows from topic to topic without the need for any conversation planning. The fact that you need some sort of strategy for fear of what peple might think of you is pretty sad. I don't blame you for having that approach, I simply would not go to parties where people are that boring, shallow and superficial. I like to hang out with interesting, well rounded people who maintain a balance in their lives. I like parties where people smile and laugh and understand that interesting people come from every direction.

Cheers and party on Garth.

[leighland]

Originally Posted by movedoften

I think that this is a great thread. It reconfirms to me how socially dysfunctional this area actually is. .

Thats pretty funny. I've lived in 6 states over 40+ years. In my experience so far in DC Metro (only been a year), I would say your opinion rings true but a bit too severe. If it was SoCal, the conversation would be very materialistic. The most 'honest' place I lived was Chicago for 12 years and Kansas for 6 (I happen to LOVE Kansas-wish I could move back but alas, very few jobs). Not that there weren't ninnys there, but much fewer of them

[oneasterisk]

Originally Posted by movedoften

Cheers and party on Garth.

Party on Wayne.

Just remember though, not everyone is a social butterfly and some people just need tips on how to act at parties.

I don't talk about my job at parties since I'm an IT consultant. Nothing puts people to sleep faster than talking about Active Directory, GPOs and cloud computing. If someone has an interesting job then I let them tell me about it. I don't talk politics or religion either, since that can be a hot button topic with a lot of people. Hobbies and where you went on vacation are always good. If the other people are from another country, talk about the food.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by leighland

If it was SoCal, the conversation would be very materialistic.

When I lived in L.A. it seemed like every conversation was about dieting or "the industry." (i.e. Hollywood, celebrities, who you have to know to become a celebrity, etc.)

I wonder if the people movedoften talks to appear socially dysfunctional because she's seen as someone who doesn't have anything interesting to say? Maybe if she tried some of these suggestions, she'd find other people will become much better conversationalists.

IMO, people in NOVA have a lot of interesting things to say. I've heard a few amazing theories at DC parties. But they don't just gush it out to strangers. You have to spark the conversation, and you have to show that you're open to hearing unusual ideas (people here care about image, at the same time many people here are highly educated in ways that make them think outside the box, two reasons to keep quiet until you establish you're not going to be judged).

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by oneasterisk

If the other people are from another country, talk about the food.

Weddings are a good topic for people from other countries, too.

Wedding traditions from around the world are fascinating and no matter what culture you're from everyone knows a few funny stories about things that happen at weddings. Just be careful to respect cultural differences. If someone tells you that have an arranged marriage, for example, don't sneer at the idea. If they tell you people ate fried beetles at their reception, just remember that they think guacamole is gross.

[quiet walker]

A great thread. Since the eighties I have run into the same situation at parties, and more recently at a north Arlington church. When meeting, the other person says "Hi, I'm (insert important sounding degree from a prestigious university here) and I (insert impressive sounding job here, such as "assistant deputy secretary to lofty sounding organization" here). I've always thought this was odd. But without fail I will say something like "I'm (name) and or "a second generation Washington DC native." And the other will say "But what is your degree??" And when I say I don't have a degree, they say "Ohhhh......." as they turn slowly and walk away.

I don't like parties