Battling Homesickness (Newport News, Fredericksburg: layoffs, living in, shop)

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by FromVAtoNC

I've been hearing about homesickness a lot lately.

It used to be that people moved here because they were attracted to the area or because they wanted an adventure, they wanted to experience new things. But now that the economy is bad, we see many people are moving here just for jobs. Many of them hate to leave their city. After they get here, some find they miss the town they left behind much more than they thought they would.

So I thought it might be helpful to post a few ideas for battling homesickness. Here's one that worked for me:

Before you move, pick a few vendors from your hometown that are willing to ship you food or merchandise. Even if you have to pay a little extra to get the apple chutney, or a box of hometown pretzels, or whatever it is that reminds you of home, there's nothing like seeing a familiar item from your old neighborhood. The same goes for your hometown newspaper. Subscribe for the first 3-4 months you're in NOVA (or, read the paper online). IMO it makes the transition easier. (And, it also helps remind you of the reasons you left. Sometimes nostalgia gives you a selective, rosy memory of what your former town is like.)

I also want to urge people to really think twice, even three times before moving here just to get a job. Don't give up on your home town so quickly, you might be able to find a job if you just stick it out a little longer. The economy is improving and there are jobs out there. Moving to a new state is a big change. Are you sure you want to move here? Don't get me wrong, I love NOVA. But I want the people moving here to love NOVA too (or at least like it ). It worries me when I see so many people just coming here for a job.

And if you do decide to move here, be open to trying something new. NOVA's not going to be exactly like the town you left behind, make a decision that you're ok with this. Give new things a chance (and by a chance I mean at least a few years).

If you do experience homesickness, recognize it for what it is. Don't go blaming Virginia because you're homesick. You can come on this forum and post "NOVA sucks, I'm sorry I left Detroit" but that's not going to relieve homesickness. Usually that just makes you feel even more depressed.

I've been here for five years. I moved here from Hampton Roads, VA. I was actually itching to get our of there five years ago. Actually until very recently i wasnt homesick. Then in June, I went back to Hampton Roads for a week. Man, it felt like home. I also had a chance to go to my prospective new home in Kentucky last year. I felt more at home there than I do in NoVA and i've NEVER been there before.

Actually i read the local newspaper from my hometown nearly every day. Even though reading about the crime down there was crazy, some of the things i've experienced here made me wish i was back there.

One thing I found hard to swallow is some of the chain resturants down there arent here in NoVA like Hardees, Bojangles (just found one in Temple Hills but who wants to drive there?), Sonic, etc. That was an adjustment.

I've been here five years. I've given NoVA more than its fair chance only to be disappointed again and again. While i'm not heading back to my hometown just yet, i'm heading somewhere else that isnt NoVA. If ya'll dont like my feelings on NoVA, I cant help you with that. Some of you like to paint a rosy picture of NoVA while I hate the place i at least try to be somewhat objective and point out the shortcomings.

[normie]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

I've been here five years. I've given NoVA more than its fair chance only to be disappointed again and again. While i'm not heading back to my hometown just yet, i'm heading somewhere else that isnt NoVA. If ya'll dont like my feelings on NoVA, I cant help you with that. Some of you like to paint a rosy picture of NoVA while I hate the place i at least try to be somewhat objective and point out the shortcomings.

I've always enjoyed your views. You made a point to be objective, and IMO that made your observations especially interesting and a nice counter balance in this forum.

I wish you all the best in your new city. NOVA isn't for everyone, and to be honest I don't recommend it at all for anyone under the age of 24. Moving to NOVA is like buying a house or like getting married--it's something you do after you've had a few years to be footloose and fancy free, when you're ready to settle down.

NOVA=suburbia. Suburbia has many benefits, but it can be way too boring for young people. If I was in my 20s I'd go to a beach town, and have some fun. Sure, maybe you won't make as much money, but there's plenty of time in life to make money. Move to NOVA after you get all your wild oats out of your system, and you won't be plagued with remorse.

[MacUser85]

I agree with Normie about NOVA=suburbia, except for Arlington and Old Town Alexandria. I would not be as happy as I am here if I didn't have Clarendon, Ballston and Old Town all within a short 10-20 minute drive away. Fair Oaks just doesn't do it for me. Great place for sure, but I just love walkable streets with funky shops and restaurants.

[JEB77]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

I've been here for five years. I moved here from Hampton Roads, VA. I was actually itching to get our of there five years ago. Actually until very recently i wasnt homesick. Then in June, I went back to Hampton Roads for a week. Man, it felt like home. I also had a chance to go to my prospective new home in Kentucky last year. I felt more at home there than I do in NoVA and i've NEVER been there before.

Actually i read the local newspaper from my hometown nearly every day. Even though reading about the crime down there was crazy, some of the things i've experienced here made me wish i was back there.

One thing I found hard to swallow is some of the chain resturants down there arent here in NoVA like Hardees, Bojangles (just found one in Temple Hills but who wants to drive there?), Sonic, etc. That was an adjustment.

I've been here five years. I've given NoVA more than its fair chance only to be disappointed again and again. While i'm not heading back to my hometown just yet, i'm heading somewhere else that isnt NoVA. If ya'll dont like my feelings on NoVA, I cant help you with that. Some of you like to paint a rosy picture of NoVA while I hate the place i at least try to be somewhat objective and point out the shortcomings.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want you to leave NoVa.

That's because I saw that you're thinking of going to Louisville, which I've often thought would be an interesting place to live - smaller scale, less expensive, with nice architecture.

So if you do make that move, many of us will be interested in your reports as to how you find it compares to both NoVa and Hampton Roads.

Sometimes it doesn't have to be a beach town, a ski resort or New York City - it just has to be different from where you've been - at least for a few years.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by JEB77

Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want you to leave NoVa.

That's because I saw that you're thinking of going to Louisville, which I've often thought would be an interesting place to live - smaller scale, less expensive, with nice architecture.

So if you do make that move, many of us will be interested in your reports as to how you find it compares to both NoVa and Hampton Roads.

Sometimes it doesn't have to be a beach town, a ski resort or New York City - it just has to be different from where you've been - at least for a few years.

No offense taken, I really want to leave NoVA too.

Normie defintely has a point about being under 24. The NoVA surburbs just dont offer much adventure for young folks. Even back in my hometown of Hampton, which can be called surburban (albeit more urbanized), you have Buckroe Beach, downtown Hampton, Hampton University, and a few dance clubs for young folks.

Louisville may just be the city i need. It's defintely a change but it's worth a try.

[athousandlogins]

I also agree about the age issue. I'm happy here now as a married woman with kids, but in my early 20s I wanted to be in the middle of a fast-moving city, preferably on the coast. I'd still like to be, honestly, but it's just not so practical with kids. NoVA is a decent compromise since it does have urban access nearby. But it wouldn't have been nearby enough for me if I was in my 20s - I'd have HATED Fairfax County ten years ago.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by athousandlogins

I also agree about the age issue. I'm happy here now as a married woman with kids, but in my early 20s I wanted to be in the middle of a fast-moving city, preferably on the coast.

I totally agree. And you know, when you look at the posts from people who are unhappy that they moved here almost all of them are written by young people in their 20s. I think you nailed it, normie. NOVA just isn't the right place for that age group. When you get a little older, especially if you get married and have kids, you'll find NOVA is much more enjoyable.

BTW, I got a chance to go back to L.A. a few years ago. I had to go out to Manhattan Beach to take care of my father for about 6 months. I was so excited... before I got there. But after I got there I found I really don't fit in with the young crowd anymore. And the beach seemed noisier and scuzzier and just not as exciting as I had remembered. I guess I outgrew it. I was actually homesick for Virginia. Who'd have guessed?

[car54]

Originally Posted by FromVAtoNC

I totally agree. And you know, when you look at the posts from people who are unhappy that they moved here almost all of them are written by young people in their 20s. I think you nailed it, normie. NOVA just isn't the right place for that age group. When you get a little older, especially if you get married and have kids, you'll find NOVA is much more enjoyable.

BTW, I got a chance to go back to L.A. a few years ago. I had to go out to Manhattan Beach to take care of my father for about 6 months. I was so excited... before I got there. But after I got there I found I really don't fit in with the young crowd anymore. And the beach seemed noisier and scuzzier and just not as exciting as I had remembered. I guess I outgrew it. I was actually homesick for Virginia. Who'd have guessed?

Exactly.

My parents were both from New Haven, CT...and we used to go up there a couple times a year to see the grandparents, cousins, etc. I remember both parents talking endlessly about how much they missed New Haven....the city of their youths.

But I remember on one trip back to New Haven....my mom looked at my dad and said, "I really wouldn't want to live in New Haven now."....dad replied, "Me either". Things had just changed too much up there....or they had gotten used to NOVA....or something.

Don't get all hung up with nostalgia....everything changes....even "back home".


PS: I ended up living in New Haven for 4 years while attending Yale...and I had a GRAND time.....liked it better than NOVA!

[steven r.]

I moved to Orange Virginia after my wife finished college down in Florida. I was born and raised in Mahopac New York, I'm also a New York Jets fan, they really can't beat to many teams so that just aggrevates me more, lol. I made the mistake of going back home for a visit last September, and that was the first time I've been back in over 15 years. Ever since then New York has been on my mind and friggin facebook has all my Mahopac friends on it, so that just adds fuel to the fire.

However Virginia is a beautiful state, I'm a big history fan, and I think the opportunities here are very good as well as having some of the best colleges to attend. I'm in a tech field so I attend classes at J.Sergeant Reynolds. I really do like the city of Richmond, I would choose there over DC anyday.

I realize what I miss about New York really isn't there anymore, mostly childhood memories, some really good friends, it's like a happy place you know. But I have my wife and kids and I have slowly started to make new friends here in my little country town of Orange, nit a very exciting place, but it is very pretty and very peaceful, my wife actually likes the country so I stay.

[Yankeesfan]

Well this is an old thread that's been revived so I'll revise my advice from the beginning of it: you can go to a baseball game and watch the Nats WIN against your hometown team !