Acceptable salary in No.VA (Reston, Woodbridge: apartments, for rent, credit card)

[Denton56]

It's true that most single, young, professional, women do not have children in their 20's. Heck, many married professional women don't have children that young. Having a roommate isn't out of the norm, having a three year old child is.

I agree that the roommate situation is a problem. Most single people in their 20's and 30's do not want to live with a child. Most children shouldn't be living in that situation either. Single people like to party and have their friends around. You cannot control who those friends may be. Young singles don't want to have to be quiet after 7:00 because a child is sleeping. Nor do they want to be awakened early on Saturday morning by a noisy child. I think it will be very difficult to find a single person who wants to live with a 3 year old, unless you find another single mom with her own child.

Will your son's dad be taking him on weekends? That might help. You might find someone who doesn't mind a child there during the week, as long as they are free to party and sleep in on the weekends.

Having a child while so young, and single, makes everything more complicated and problematic and definitely puts you out of the norm among city professionals. But I don't guess I need to tell you that. Sorry.

[VAVA804]

Im a single mother in my mid 20s but I dont need to party and live the single life nor do I want to be in Mayberry. I plan to rent a condo from a private owner if possible to lower cost and hopefully using public transportation. I definitly dont want a roommate. But at the same time people say you shouldnt live in the unsafe neighborhoods. I mean really I doubt NOVA has a version of SE DC.

[Denton56]

There are plenty of places in NOVA that are not safe for a single woman, of any age. While not as bad as SE DC, you still wouldn't want to walk around at night alone or leave your door unlocked at any time. Noise and parties may also be of concern in some areas. So you do need to be careful about where you choose to live.

How is renting a condo cheaper than renting an apartment? I've not heard that before. How do you find such arrangements? Don't many condos forbid subletting? Or is that no longer true?

[VAVA804]

Denton56
I was reading this thread. Condo renting over apartment renting

[Badger21]

can tell you that I am losing money every day I'm here and make about $110K. I don't own new cars (1999, 2003) and I am renting a townhouse. I don't do anything extravagant.

I'm assuming your SO is staying at home with kids? Otherwise, I'd like to know your definition of extravagant...

[Jbearsmama]

Denton56...I'm just wondering if you think once a person becomes a parent...they lose all rights to being young and social? By the description you wrote, all 20/30 year olds like to party and have their friends around but...if they have a kid and they're in their 20s/30s, it isn't a possibility? I'm a mother first and foremost. However, I am by no means, old and decrepit.

Yes. I'll agree that having a child while being in the 20s isn't a norm but I'm not the only person to live with the cards I was dealt. My life hasn't been easy since I made the decision to be a single parent but you don't see me complaining about it, instead, I'm trying to make the best decisions for my son and myself. I will say this...being a parent, whether it was planned or not/ single or married, isn't any more problematic or complicated than life in general. Single parents do have it harder financially but its not an impossibility. I find it trully offensive when people are so quick to point out the OBVIOUS hardships of parenthood instead of applaud the people that whole heartedly accept the responsibilities and hardships.

I appreciate everyone's opinion, whether I agree with it or not. I've taken a lot from the posts and threads that I've read in the past few weeks. I'm very thankful that there are people out there willing to share any information that they can to people like me trying to relocate. Kudos to you.

[VAVA804]

Jbearsmama...While Denton56 was insensative and not very understanding he is right about the area. Most people in NOVA are either single professional partiers or stay at home mom families with 3 kids and a dog. It would be nice if he looked at the fact we're trying to provide the best for our child and not fit into the sterotype of a young single mother. I'll be moving up there in about a year and it's not impossible BUT you will need to understand A LOT of people will have this opinion in this area.

[Jbearsmama]

VAVA804, thanks for responding and for your sympathy on the topic...

I apologize for getting a little heated in my previous post. I stand very strong on my decision to become a single mother and can't stand when people put someone, who raises a child single handedly, in one particular class.

I would assume that the DC/NOVA area would be more liberal for obvious reasons but I see a lot of conservative comments relating to single parents. I know there are a lot of "transplants" that flock there so maybe thats why but in todays society we don't follow traditional standards in more ways that one.

Off my soapbox....

I've recenty seeked professional help regarding my resume and what a difference that has made. Money well worth it for anyone who has problems with theirs. I've also been reading carefully on how people have budgeted their money to get an idea of what kind of expenses come with living in a metropolitan area. I've had to add daycare costs and the difference of 1 BR living with 2BR living.

I'm still unsure of whats an acceptable salary level for jobs that require a degree + exp there. When I see a base salary on job postings, I don't know if that's a low-ball figure... or if my exp. + bachelors will warrant a higher figure than posted... This is the toughest part of my job hunt because if/when I get offered a job, not knowing some sort of range will hurt me when negotiating salary. Please please please help.

[themommy]

Originally Posted by Jbearsmama

VAVA804, thanks for responding and for your sympathy on the topic...

I apologize for getting a little heated in my previous post. I stand very strong on my decision to become a single mother and can't stand when people put someone, who raises a child single handedly, in one particular class.

I would assume that the DC/NOVA area would be more liberal for obvious reasons but I see a lot of conservative comments relating to single parents. I know there are a lot of "transplants" that flock there so maybe thats why but in todays society we don't follow traditional standards in more ways that one.

Off my soapbox....

I've recenty seeked professional help regarding my resume and what a difference that has made. Money well worth it for anyone who has problems with theirs. I've also been reading carefully on how people have budgeted their money to get an idea of what kind of expenses come with living in a metropolitan area. I've had to add daycare costs and the difference of 1 BR living with 2BR living.

I'm still unsure of whats an acceptable salary level for jobs that require a degree + exp there. When I see a base salary on job postings, I don't know if that's a low-ball figure... or if my exp. + bachelors will warrant a higher figure than posted... This is the toughest part of my job hunt because if/when I get offered a job, not knowing some sort of range will hurt me when negotiating salary. Please please please help.

I don't know that they're conservative comments so much as comments made out of genuine concern -- for the most part, anyway. Most of us in the area who have kids (or at least most of us on this board) aren't single parents, so the best we can do is guess at the additional challenges that raising a child alone presents. I know I certainly have no issue with people who are, by choice or otherwise, single parents. Parenting is a huge job when you have another grownup along for the ride; doing it alone is, to me, an amazing undertaking. But a child is a blessing, regardless of who (and how many) are practically responsible for its upbringing. And single parents are just as much of a blessing to their children as two-parent teams.

I think my main concern if I were considering moving up here as a single parent would be logistics. Well, logistics and money, but we already know money's a concern, right?

Traffic up here can get pretty bad, and the area is huge. We have family down in Atlanta and get down there once or twice a year, and I do think DC will be more of a challenge traffic-wise than Atlanta. To me, the thought of working and being solely responsible for getting a child to/picking a child up from daycare is pretty daunting. Not saying you can't do it, but I think it's really going to be important for you to find daycare close to your work, lest you find yourself accumulating lots of expensive late-pickup fees due to traffic SNAFUs that are beyond your control (or a boss who's not sympathetic to the necessity of your picking up your child on time).

The other thing is childcare availability: Before we decided that it would just be more cost-effective for me to stay home with our kids, our major concern was finding childcare at all. We got on the waiting lists for several facilities as soon as we found out I was pregnant with our first, and we still didn't have a space after the baby was born. So we know that had we continued pursuing the childcare option, it would have taken longer than nine months for us to secure a space anywhere. Hopefully it's easier to find childcare for an older child than it is for an infant.

The time it takes to get to your daycare facility, combined with the limited options you may have because of the imbalance between childcare supply and demand up here (there's much more demand than the current supply seems to be able to meet) makes me nervous for you. It was so hard for us to find a place, and we had two adults on the parenting team! You don't have that safety net, so you'll have to stick more closely than most of us to your location/cost requirements.

I have no doubt that with proper planning, you can make a move to DC work for you and for your son. I just don't envy you getting through that planning period.

[bangorme]

Originally Posted by Badger21

I'm assuming your SO is staying at home with kids? Otherwise, I'd like to know your definition of extravagant...

Well, you are half right lol. My wife does not work outside the home here, but my children are grown and on their own. Take a look at the age of my cars and most people will be able to deduce my definition of extravagant.

But to the point, I was responding to the OP in general terms, and as has been said well in other posts, most of us don't know what it is like to be a single parent trying to make ends meet on an entry level salary in NOVA. But the problem isn't in the planning, but in the implementation. Unless you are young now, all the rest of us were young once and remember our youthful optimism. I can think of no greater adventure than moving to this area as a young person, but with a child, it's a different story. As the OP has said, the child is top priority. But who is signing on to this adventure? It is that additional consideration and responsibility that makes being a single parent the highest calling, demanding the greatest self-sacrifice.