POLL: Are You Happy Living in NoVA? (Alexandria, Reston: transplants, apartment)

[ScranBarre]

Now that I seriously find myself at an emotional crossroads and deciding whether or not to start applying for a different position in a different area I just wanted to gauge the general mood of the sub-forum in regards to whether or not you are happy living in Northern Virginia. Please explain why in either circumstance. Hopefully hearing enough reasons why NoVA is a superior place to live will get me 'excited" about living here again. If not, then it will be good to just move on and scratch this move off as being a "live and learn" mistake. As of right now I just sit down and look at how much I'm paying to live here and the opportunity costs (i.e. living somewhere else with a comparable salary and a more reasonable cost-of-living) and wonder "where's the payoff for being in NoVA?" I don't have children (and never will), so I don't care about the supposedly excellent public school quality here. As soon as the economy rebounds my versatile degree will afford me the opportunity to find work elsewhere, so the "well, we're the only one with good jobs" argument isn't going to affect me. At the end of the day I find myself depressed because I just don't see anything to look forward to about living here, even after I eventually move higher up in rank and attain a higher salary status. If you're a relatively affluent single person in your 30s, why does this area appeal to you?

More than anything else I'm just hoping for some guidance here. I actually fell ILL last week from the building stress and depression and found myself shaking and crying myself to sleep one night out of sheer frustration. After living in NoVA since May shouldn't I have found a reason yet to "love" living here? I'm hoping becoming more active in my church and volunteer groups this Fall might make me feel a bit more "at home," but as of right now I'm just not seeing it. "Wow" me with Northern Virginia, if you can, and bear in mind that the "good jobs/good schools" arguments aren't what I'm looking for. I want substantive reasons that what I'm giving up NOW at the prime of my life WILL pay off in the end with a better quality-of-life when I'm older so that I don't hit 40 and realize "I wasted my youth" when I come to learn that after all of my years of sacrifice I'm still going to be living alone in a 1-BR apartment in a mauve-colored suburb without sidewalks, bike lanes, or decent mass transit. Is that really all there is to look forward to?

[Alanboy395]

Not happy living in NoVA for reasons that anyone who frequents this forum already knows about.

[car54]

Son, you aren't going to be happy ANYWHERE....because this "utopia" you are seeking does not exist.

[smithy77]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

Now that I seriously find myself at an emotional crossroads and deciding whether or not to start applying for a different position in a different area I just wanted to gauge the general mood of the sub-forum in regards to whether or not you are happy living in Northern Virginia. Please explain why in either circumstance. Hopefully hearing enough reasons why NoVA is a superior place to live will get me 'excited" about living here again. If not, then it will be good to just move on and scratch this move off as being a "live and learn" mistake. As of right now I just sit down and look at how much I'm paying to live here and the opportunity costs (i.e. living somewhere else with a comparable salary and a more reasonable cost-of-living) and wonder "where's the payoff for being in NoVA?" I don't have children (and never will), so I don't care about the supposedly excellent public school quality here. As soon as the economy rebounds my versatile degree will afford me the opportunity to find work elsewhere, so the "well, we're the only one with good jobs" argument isn't going to affect me. At the end of the day I find myself depressed because I just don't see anything to look forward to about living here, even after I eventually move higher up in rank and attain a higher salary status. If you're a relatively affluent single person in your 30s, why does this area appeal to you?

More than anything else I'm just hoping for some guidance here. I actually fell ILL last week from the building stress and depression and found myself shaking and crying myself to sleep one night out of sheer frustration. After living in NoVA since May shouldn't I have found a reason yet to "love" living here? I'm hoping becoming more active in my church and volunteer groups this Fall might make me feel a bit more "at home," but as of right now I'm just not seeing it. "Wow" me with Northern Virginia, if you can, and bear in mind that the "good jobs/good schools" arguments aren't what I'm looking for. I want substantive reasons that what I'm giving up NOW at the prime of my life WILL pay off in the end with a better quality-of-life when I'm older so that I don't hit 40 and realize "I wasted my youth" when I come to learn that after all of my years of sacrifice I'm still going to be living alone in a 1-BR apartment in a mauve-colored suburb without sidewalks, bike lanes, or decent mass transit. Is that really all there is to look forward to?

I was young and gay once (still gay), and I understand what it's like to feel out of place and uncomfortable in my own skin. At your age, I was living in a group house in the city in a gay neighborhood and exploring my new life in my new city. It was difficult. Gay people were still largely feared and misunderstood by the larger community back then, and I was very closeted.

You might want to explore the support that's out there in the gay community if you need it. Isolation sucks. Reston isn't exactly 'gay central'. There are gay organizations for every interest and gay churches for just about every denomination. It sounds like you need to surround yourself with people who are like you and understand you. This will sound harsh to some people, but in my experience, I've come to the conclusion that, when the chips are down, your gay friends will be there for you before anyone else will. I'm not trying to discourage you from making 'straight' friends, but they really can't identify with your life experience or your needs, and many of them will consider you expendable in the end anyway. You also might want to consider the reality that seeking support and validation on-line has more negatives than positives. The Washington area is, I think, one of the best places for gay people in the nation, and you might want to keep that in mind before you decide on a course of action.

[JfromReston]

I voted yes - but it took me a lot longer than 3 months before I was "happy" living her. It actually took a few years. Go take a nice hike or run along the Potomac today to experience one of the jewels this area has to offer. You can go to Great Falls Park, Scott Run Park, Riverbend Park, or the County park at the end of Seneca Road. Get out and enjoy the nature that is at your back door.

[Ashburnite]

We moved here from the Dallas area (specifically, Denton) in 1998. It was definitely an adjustment in many ways. After a while I adjusted and began to appreciate what this area has to offer. Some of my favorites:

No billboards along the highways until you get pretty far out of town!

The beautiful trees and landscapes and changing seasons.

The quantity of outdoor activities available. The beauty of Skyline Drive, hiking trails in the mountains, hiking trails by the Potomac, etc.

The many free activities available in downtown DC as far as museums and monuments. If you're a runner, drive to DC early on a weekend morning, park near the FDR memorial, and enjoy a run among the monuments and along the Potomac. You'll be running through history!

The proximity to cool day trips like to Charlottesville to visit Monticello, Luray Caverns, and weekend trips to the eastern shore. You're new here so feel free to act like a tourist!

Visit historic Alexandria and hang out on the dock area. Ditto for Annapolis. The more you get familiar with the area, the more comfortable you'll feel.

So many people are transplants to this area that you're bound to run into someone from your old neck of the woods to commiserate with eventually. Additionally, the fact that most people here are transplants like you; they all were new once and struggled to find their place, too.

Once you find a few people you like (and that may take a bit of time) your circle of friends will grow tremendously if you actively seek out friendships.

When we first moved to the area we had a lot of visitors from out of town because this was their chance to visit DC and not have to pay for a hotel room. Playing tour guide to someone newer than you can make you realize that you know more about the area than you thought you did!


Good luck and know it WILL get better as you get into the thick of things.

[ajzjmsmom]

This is from someone who has been given the unique opportunity to live somewhere and in essence try it out before we move here. This first month has been difficult but I suspect alot has to do with knowing as of right now this is not permanent for us.

Living is an apartment in the area we are in has been less than fun and I wish we could have found coporate housing further out where we would actually consider living if we moved here. That being said it is great for us transportation wise since we only brought one of our vehicles so the super close access to the metro has been great for my husband.

Now my husband on the otherhand seems more than ready to make this permanent. He sees it as a way to further his career and make contacts for after retirement. He loves the east coast and all the trees and grass.

I suspect when school starts this next week things may become alittle easier for me since the kids will be occupied.

Why don't you give it at least a year and take smithy77's advice?

[Ashburnite]

I forgot to mention the many festivals and activities on the National Mall and in the outer 'burbs. For example, the National Book Festival is Sept. 26th. And there are numerous other festivals throughout the year.
Food Festivals in the Washington, DC Area

Okay, so that link is to the food festivals, so you can see where my priorities lie! Your mileage may vary.

[athousandlogins]

I love it here.

But I wouldn't want to be 20-something and single in Reston, either. I'd be living in D.C. if I were you. But I'm not you, and I can't imagine what in the world you expect the people here to say that they haven't said a thousand times before. You know why we like it here. If our reasons don't resonate with you, that's okay.

[springfieldva]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

Now that I seriously find myself at an emotional crossroads and deciding whether or not to start applying for a different position in a different area I just wanted to gauge the general mood of the sub-forum in regards to whether or not you are happy living in Northern Virginia. Please explain why in either circumstance. Hopefully hearing enough reasons why NoVA is a superior place to live will get me 'excited" about living here again. If not, then it will be good to just move on and scratch this move off as being a "live and learn" mistake. As of right now I just sit down and look at how much I'm paying to live here and the opportunity costs (i.e. living somewhere else with a comparable salary and a more reasonable cost-of-living) and wonder "where's the payoff for being in NoVA?" I don't have children (and never will), so I don't care about the supposedly excellent public school quality here. As soon as the economy rebounds my versatile degree will afford me the opportunity to find work elsewhere, so the "well, we're the only one with good jobs" argument isn't going to affect me. At the end of the day I find myself depressed because I just don't see anything to look forward to about living here, even after I eventually move higher up in rank and attain a higher salary status. If you're a relatively affluent single person in your 30s, why does this area appeal to you?

More than anything else I'm just hoping for some guidance here. I actually fell ILL last week from the building stress and depression and found myself shaking and crying myself to sleep one night out of sheer frustration. After living in NoVA since May shouldn't I have found a reason yet to "love" living here? I'm hoping becoming more active in my church and volunteer groups this Fall might make me feel a bit more "at home," but as of right now I'm just not seeing it. "Wow" me with Northern Virginia, if you can, and bear in mind that the "good jobs/good schools" arguments aren't what I'm looking for. I want substantive reasons that what I'm giving up NOW at the prime of my life WILL pay off in the end with a better quality-of-life when I'm older so that I don't hit 40 and realize "I wasted my youth" when I come to learn that after all of my years of sacrifice I'm still going to be living alone in a 1-BR apartment in a mauve-colored suburb without sidewalks, bike lanes, or decent mass transit. Is that really all there is to look forward to?

Consider this -

If your happiness was dependant on having bike lanes and sidewalks close by, why did you move into a neighborhood that does not have them?

Try picturing your ideal home/neighborhood/job/social scene. Give some serious thought about what it will take to make *you* happy - now. Then look around and see if there is a place in NoVa that fits the bill.