Holding back children with summer birthdays from kindergarten (private schools, college) - Northern Virginia - Virginia (VA) - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

Denton56 · 09-06-2009, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michgc

My sister has two kids (one boy and one girl) with late August birthdays (Aug 25 and Aug 29). Their cutoff in PA was Sept. 1. So they really were going to be the youngest if she sent them on time. In each case the children were academically ready (they were both reading) and their preschool teachers felt they were ready to start kindergarten. Before she made her decisions, she fretted over her choice for years. She ended up deciding to send each one on time (didn't hold them back). Her children are now 21 and 19. Looking back, she says she wished she had held her daughter back. Her son was fine academically, emotionally, and socially. Her daughter was always behind socially, and academically she was just "eh." Is there any way she could have known that at age 5? She says, "no." Unfortunately, only hindsight is 20/20. I have a 2-year old son with a late July birthday and plan on sending on time, unless I have reason not to. But I do hate the idea that he will be one of the youngest in his class.

Your son will hate it too. Why set him up to always be the youngest kid in the class? And most likely one of the smallest. My brother and I were always the youngest in our class and we hated it. Everyone got to do everything before we did. Also, if my brother had been among the oldest he would have been more likely to be better at sports.

Academics are not the problem, not in kindergarten. It's the social and psychological aspects all through school. And if the child has ANY problems, the school will always jump to the conclusion that the young age is the problem. The reality may be something else entirely, but it's an easy out for administrators, just blame it on the age of the child and look no further. Cheaper and easier for them.

Denton56 · 09-06-2009, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ashburnite

This is the drawback I've heard about. The age gap seems even larger when you compare the two. I've read and discussed this with people and most agree that if your child seems ready, his/her preschool teacher thinks the child is ready, and your child is excited about going to let them start. If not, keep them back a year. Some people think ahead to when the child will be in high school; for boys and sports they think it's important that their son won't be one of the little ones and has a better shot at making the teams. It's called red-shirting kindergartners. I'm not saying that's horrible, in fact if you have a small boy child and he's on the shy side, maybe it would be good to hold him back if you think he'll get picked on.

PLEASE do not rely on a pre school teacher. Kindergarten is NOT the problem with young students. Nearly ANY kid can do well in kindergarten. It's SO much more, it's the upper grades that matter FAR more than kindergarten. The youngest kids are at a big disadvantage socially in 7th grade, 9th grade, etc.

flyers29 · 09-07-2009, 12:39 AM

My b-day is in July. I started school at age 5. As did many other "summer birthdays." I didn't know this was such a huge deal.

cdmurphy · 09-07-2009, 04:47 AM

Someone is always going to be the youngest in the class.

arielmina · 09-07-2009, 07:06 AM

welll just wait until my CT transplants come to the school

my kids will absolutely be the youngest since CT has the 12/31 cut off and they wouldn't have even been able to start k in Virginia when we did

I agree with those who said that if your sons are physically small, that should factor in. My son is tall for his age and to look at the class as a whole, you would never know he was younger than every other boy in the class. My daughter is average sized and again she does not look small amongst her 2nd grade classmates...in fact she is bigger than some of them. In fact in the class, the kids that stick out are the ones that were held back and are a year older...

To the person who said they have never heard of anyone regretting holding back...I have absolutely heard of it.

and to the person concerned about getting their license last...come on, it's a matter of months, that is going to ruin your life? that's ridiculous.

Optimistic · 09-07-2009, 07:14 AM

My daughter whose birthday is Sept 23rd already completed kindergarten when we moved to Georgia.

Georgia follows the birthday policy however I would not allow them to place my daughter in kindegarten.

I had the documents faxed from the school in NY stating that the kindergarten was accredidated and she was placed in 1st.

Now she is a sophmore in high school with an excellent GPA and is one of the youngest in her class.

If I didn't fight for her or just allowed her to repeat kindergarten who knows if she would have thrived or not.

claremarie · 09-07-2009, 07:18 AM

You can't possibly see into the future. Just go with your instincts. IMO, if you're in doubt, it's better to err on the side of sending them rather than holding them back. You can always keep them in kindergarten for another year if necessary, but it's much more difficult to have them skip ahead later. And, as a previous poster mentioned, northern Virginia is full of transplants, many of whom began school in systems with very different starting dates, including those from countries in the Southern Hemisphere with different school years. It all works out.

mpascal · 09-07-2009, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denton56

PLEASE do not rely on a pre school teacher. Kindergarten is NOT the problem with young students. Nearly ANY kid can do well in kindergarten. It's SO much more, it's the upper grades that matter FAR more than kindergarten. The youngest kids are at a big disadvantage socially in 7th grade, 9th grade, etc.

You can't make blanket statements about the "youngest kids are at a big disadvantage socially..." That will not apply to every kid. There are those who are ready to go even if they are young for their class and do fine socially, academically, sports-wise, whatever.

car54 · 09-07-2009, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arielmina

...and to the person concerned about getting their license last...come on, it's a matter of months, that is going to ruin your life? that's ridiculous.

Look up "tongue in cheek".....

car54 · 09-07-2009, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mpascal

You can't make blanket statements about the "youngest kids are at a big disadvantage socially..." That will not apply to every kid. There are those who are ready to go even if they are young for their class and do fine socially, academically, sports-wise, whatever.

Denton is the master of the blanket statement....

I agree that the "young for their class" can excel if they want to. The stuff about being at a disadvantage in sports is just an excuse. If they want it bad enough, they can do it!

For me, it was football...I wanted it! I trained and practiced on my own (and with dad) for years and it paid off. I went straight from the freshman football team to the varsity squad and I started (offensive line) my junior and senior years. And this wasn't some namby-pamby program....these were the legendary Bob Hardage's championship Annandale teams of the late 60's.