Reston Rap? (Arlington, Hampton, Alexandria: rent, house, university)

[ScranBarre]

YouTube - Arlington: The Rap


Since I've become hopelessly addicted to Remy's very popular "Arlington Rap" on YouTube I've decided I may want to branch out on my own and do a "Reston Rap" as my own hometown tribute that will hopefully entertain friends and quite possibly make me happier about living here.

Would anyone care to help me out with some ideas on lyrics or places/topics that ought to be covered? Here's a few lines, in no particular order, that I was thinking of:

"We all know that Reston's an Arlington wannabe, but I can always just drive there in my hybrid SUV!"

"Clyde's, Starbuck's, or Jackson's are where the party's at; you can hear dudes talkin' 'bout their jobs or a chick about her cat!"

"You can often find me biking on the W&OD Trail. I'm the one in the spandex chasing younger female tail."

"We all complain about the long haul to the Metro, but at least keeping it out has kept our town looking pretty retro."

"We all claim to embrace diversity, but when we cruise through Herndon we suddenly have to pee!"

"We don't all mind paying our high rents partially because we still live with our aging hippie parents!"

"Half the town is fearing a new indoor rec facility so we took them to Lake Anne Plaza and basked in the tranquility."

"North Point's got the soccer moms in blazers and skirts; Hunter's Woods has the dudes in plain white t-shirts!"

"Last month I painted my front door red, and the design review board smacked me upside the head!"

"We're the most educated large town in the country, even though we still don't have a single university!"

"We love to play Fr-ogger crossing Reston Parkway. Cops see me get bumped in the crosswalk and just look the other way."

"Many of our kids are misbehaving brats, but we just let them be since we're all "free-will" Democrats."

"Our downtown is so cool, we don't even call it that. We'll just hit up the Town Center, so whaddya think 'bout that?!"

"We all love to hog the left lane. The cars jamming up behind us resemble a train!"



Okay, so I know most of these are pretty lame, but I'm hoping to come up with MUCH better and then enlist the help of friends. Maybe I'll beg Remy himself for some pointers?!

[Alanboy395]

How about one for Alexandria?

Alexandria, I cant wait to say goodbye to ya!
You people are rude like a ballhawk safety, I dont wonder why the NoVA folks hate me
Ya'll drive Mercedes like a disease, Ya'll rich? Oh please!
My time gets robbed in gridlock, at red lights ya'll dont come to a stop
Ya'll have a dead mall named Landmark, keeping it standing is just not smart
I cant even pay a NoVA rent bill, I'll be able get an affordable apt in Louisville
Yea, I'm heading to the city of the Derby, next year you hyper-liberals cant hurt me
The City's resturants are mostly chains, dont forget we have a lot of MS-13 gangs
I came from a city named Hampton, I'll be sure never to make this mistake again
Alanboy395 has them rap skills, Lord, get me outta NoVA and to Louisville!!!!!!!

[HereinVA]

YouTube - FAIRFAX RAP (RESPONSE TO THE ARLINGTON RAP)

Did you see the Fairfax one?

[michgc]

That was great! I hadn't seen the Fairfax one.

[lovetoboat]

Okay..I could not sleep. This move and selling our upstate NY house has been weighing a little too much on my mind-so I pop on this site and...
I don't think I've laughed this hard at 4am in a long time. AND it made me feel better. I loved them!
Great thread ScranBarre and get started on your Reston Rap!

[ScranBarre]

Yes, I've seen the "Fairfax Rap" before, and that was my inspiration to consider doing my own "Reston Rap." The point of Remy's popular Arlington Rap wasn't to "bash" Arlington but rather to playfully poke fun at it, much as I hope to do the same with Reston with our hybrid SUVs, overzealous HOA, and lousy street names.