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Old 09-29-2009, 02:55 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alanboy395 View Post
I'm a non-affluent, non-white guy and I don't like NoVA either. I'm just thankful that I can cut my losses and get out of here thanks to BRAC.

Bring on the usual NoVA "you don't like it here, then leave" arguments!

You're leaving. Why would there be any arguments?
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:57 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Default Yay!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankeesfan View Post
How old are you? What do you like to do? Something productive, like volunteering, would probably be more fulfilling and interesting than just hanging out, and give you friends that share a common interest with you.

Yay! I said this and was thinking the same thing. Go, YankeesFan!
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Old 09-29-2009, 02:58 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Default Hello

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkf747 View Post
What about those who have lived elsewhere and still hate this area?

Maybe those people should move elsewhere or maybe they will be unhappy no matter where they live. You are in control of your own happiness.
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
30,126 posts, read 67,233,058 times
Reputation: 15769
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOVAChick View Post
You're leaving. Why would there be any arguments?
You're new here. (Welcome, by the way!) From my experience on this sub-forum if you say something negative about the area you are pretty much booed and hissed at until you crawl back under the rock from whence you came! LOL! In my case people are just sort of tolerant of me because they know that I'm resilient to the push-back and don't mind engaging in a good debate from time to time. I think a lot of people on this forum feel "threatened" that any negative publicity about NoVA will depress their housing values.
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,587 posts, read 33,333,953 times
Reputation: 32233
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOVAChick View Post
You're leaving. Why would there be any arguments?
It seems someone on this forum starts something with me when I show constructive crititism about an aspect of life in NoVA and they could care less that I have actual plans to leave.
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:07 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Default Yay!

Quote:
Originally Posted by oneasterisk View Post
Wow I've pretty much experienced quite opposite. I'm 29 and I am an immigrant to the US. I was only naturalized in 2000. I never finished college either. None of that stopped me from making a great career in IT all without "knowing" anyone. All the jobs I've been hired were on my credentials and my people skills, not because someone referred me. To be honest, I'd rather be judged on my abilities, than by who I know...

Your statement was awesome. It's always great when people keep an open mind and forge their own way instead of complaining. I am annoyed by the "whiners" because a lot of us are working hard to find a job...like myself but I still refuse to whine and blame everyone else under the Sun. Get out there! Network...if you think you have to know people to get a job. I networked on here and on Facebook. I am meeting new people all the time and getting job leads.

Go back to school.

Change your career field.

Take anything! Do a job that might be lower than what you would normally do to have a job.

I can't believe people are complaining when there are millions of people who are out of work just like them. Some who are senior citizens and are discriminated against because of age...and were close to their retirement are now looking for work. Some are women, like myself, so people don't usually take me seriously. But like oneasterisk said, I'd rather be hired for my skills so I don't let that get me down and I just keep it moving to find an employer who will hire me for my knowledge and not my race, gender, etc.

Don't put yourself in a box. Diversify your portfolio and be flexible.

The Sky is the Limit!

Last edited by NOVAChick; 09-29-2009 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Town of Herndon/DC Metro
2,282 posts, read 5,575,108 times
Reputation: 1170
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praying4anulife View Post
Can someone help me find the good in living in NOVA? I've lived here my whole life, and I don't fit in here. The nightlife doesn't quite satisfy me (not even Adams Morgan clubs/bars) and I don't feel comfortable going to the charity events or art galleries because I'm not affluent and not white.

I've felt left out here since I was 15, but haven't yet found a way to get out of here, because of course, the jobs are here.

So can any of my fellow NoVa natives help me discover something great here?

I would like to move somewhere else, and am planning to, but it really could take a few years, so I need something to do in the mean time.


You sound young- don't despair! There are so many places in this country to see. I have lived in 6 states so I am not myopic about the area as many of the older folk who have lived in few places on this forum are.
If you really want to try a new place, just do it- sell your stuff, drive to LA. But there will be compromises- you may have to live a waitress with roommates for a while. Or live in a small semi-rural area, like parts of Kansas. But this is the time in your life to try it, before your body starts to run down, before you have a husband and kids and other responsibilities.
As you get older, you will find you will yearn for more security and stability in your life. In other words its harder to do as you get older. I say pick a place and go for it. If you have a familial base here, you can always come back. Good Luck!
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:25 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Talking Great job!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
I'm a 22-year-old guy who moved down here in late-May for a career opportunity. I'm overall not very happy here because I hate living in what feels like a giant generic suburb (complete with people driving SUVs, wearing sunglasses at night, and dudes getting pedicures but getting angry if you mistake them for being gay) instead of a patchwork of REAL down-to-earth communities with walkable downtowns and pleasant older homes with front porches and sidewalks and the like (as you would find in MOST other major Northeastern/Mid-Atlantic metros), but here I still am annoying y'all on this forum. What has begun to keep me sane living in the land of mauve, SUVs, and HOAs? I've begun to volunteer more. I helped out several days at the recent book sale for the Reston Regional Library and made some great new friends---people who, while all twice my age (or older), don't only care about going to a bar and getting wasted all the time like most fellow 22-year-olds I've met in NoVA. There are a couple of charity benefits coming up in October here in Reston that I'm excited that I will be a part of as well. I've also found that reconnecting with my faith and joining a very hospitable and warm new church has helped to ease my unhappiness. While I'll never be able to reconcile my sexuality with my faith singing hymns, public prayer, and listening to inspiring sermons helps to keep me going for the rest of the week.

Also, I really don't find this area to be at all hostile towards minorities. As a gay person I only experienced awkwardness once, and that was after some rather flamboyant first date of mine (the gay dating pool here DOES suck because seemingly every other gay person here IS flamboyant!) caused a scene because I didn't want him to hug me at Clyde's in front of a bunch of older people staring at us (come to think of it, what is with the older people STARING in Reston, anyways?). As a generally conservative person I don't like to be subject to straight people being affectionate in public so I try to extol the same courtesy.

In any event I hope you eventually find your Valhalla. For me I still cry inwardly because while helping others is finally starting to make me feel like a better person I know if I ever want to stay here I'll be relegated to living in these "fake" suburban parts of NoVA that are "meant for families" (or so I've been lectured on this sub-forum as any non-child-rearing people supposedly don't "belong" here if all we want to do is try to improve the area) for many, many years to come.

You sound like me, a great, caring, positive person and you shouldn't let anyone get you down. Old people stare all the time...EVERYWHERE! lol. I think it's because the younger generations will ALWAYS be so different from "their time." lol. I was in the DEERS office, getting a new ID card and when I got up b/c my hubby finally showed up, these old people were staring at me. Probably because they were racist. Who knows? I am black and they were white. But I found it amusing because they are old, so what are ya gonna do? They always seem so shocked and bothered by somethng. Even my gramma. As much as I love her. I went to her house when I was pregnant one time and she was wondering why I was wearing a fitting t-shirt instead of COMPLETELY covering up in a muu muu. My aunt had to tell her that young people don't hide their pregnant bumps anymore..lol. But I don't pay that kind of stuff any never mind.

Imagine being black in America AND I have natural hair (e.g. afro, twists, etc.) and it really shocks people. I have lived my whole life dealing with the stares from little children to senior citizens. Oh well. Life goes on.

I think what you are doing for your community is awesome. I volunteer at my son's school. I'm on the PTO and a lot parents in my community don't. I think people like us are a dime a dozen. Especially nowadays where everyone is so selfish and self-absorbed.

I am thinking that maybe Reston has not opened their hearts to gays. I know there are some places I wouldn't live because I get tired of being stared at every time I walk out my door....lol. We are just people after all but some people are so close-minded that they often forget that.

I feel your pain somewhat because we are moving to NOVA soon. I am originally from Manassas and I loved it there when I grew up there because it was very diverse. A lot of different races so I always felt right at home with many different cultures.

Now I am coming back to the area with my sons and I want them in great schools. So I know I will probably be in a predominantly white area. I have also looked at the stats so I know they are the majority in the areas that I am looking. But I just suck it up and soldier on because I refuse to put my sons in crappy schools because people might stare at me...lol.

Actually we are living in a country town now that is predominantly white. It's not too bad until I wear my afro out...lol. Then there are stares all around. I definitely don't fit in because we're military so it's obvious that not only am I the minority and my hair is not bone straight but I dress AND talk different...*gasp* Oh my...lol.

My son's school is nice though and I think it's because most of the families are military families. I was a military brat and that is what I love about the military lifestyle is the diversity. You have to find your niche and what works for you so you can be happy in your life. We're actually doing a chili cookoff this Friday and I'm really excited to get to help out. The little kids are so funny and sweet. A lot of them are not judgemental. I have eaten lunch with my son a few times and really enjoyed talking to his little classmates.

I guess I have gotten used to being stared at too b/c black people are a miniority. I used to hear that but never really understood it until I grew up and saw just how few of us that there are in America. Especially if you want to move to a nicer area and move up in the world. I'm always sorry to see it but it's my reality.

Keep your head up. You sound like an awesome person and like you're going in the right direction. Keep doing you and to heck what people think. Have fun at your charity event. Take care!

Last edited by NOVAChick; 09-29-2009 at 03:37 PM..
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:29 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Smile Hi!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
You're new here. (Welcome, by the way!) From my experience on this sub-forum if you say something negative about the area you are pretty much booed and hissed at until you crawl back under the rock from whence you came! LOL! In my case people are just sort of tolerant of me because they know that I'm resilient to the push-back and don't mind engaging in a good debate from time to time. I think a lot of people on this forum feel "threatened" that any negative publicity about NoVA will depress their housing values.
ScranBarre,

I stumbled across this forum by accident. And I stayed because I love it. I am missing NoVA and this topic kind of hit a sore spot I guess b/c I feel like ppl are lucky to get to live in NOVA. But, hey, everybody is different. I just find it hard to believe that people can't find ANYTHING that relates to them b/c NOVA is SO diverse and there are so many different things to do which is part of what I miss. I have lived in the middle of nowhere (Sierra Vista, AZ) and I grew up in NOVA. I have lived in Belgium, NC and GA. I have traveled and lived in various places and most places are so specific but NOVA isn't like that. It's like a mini NY to me where you can be yourself more without too much scrutiny. I think ppl just have to find their niche in NOVA. People need to carve a piece of NOVA out for themselves and live the good life that is there for the taking.

I plan on doing just that when we move back in a month. Nice to meet you!
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:30 PM
 
154 posts, read 446,312 times
Reputation: 41
Smile Hi!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alanboy395 View Post
It seems someone on this forum starts something with me when I show constructive crititism about an aspect of life in NoVA and they could care less that I have actual plans to leave.

Sorry if you thought I was starting something. I was just wondering why you thought there would be any "why don't you leave then" arguments when you are leaving?
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