Does this apply to Vienna's SAHM's? (Fairfax: house, elementary school, closing) - Northern Virginia - Virginia (VA) - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

jeksmom062405 · 10-04-2009, 06:35 AM

I was home for my son's first 18 months. I then went back to work and had a great schedule. I put in about 30 hours a week and worked between 3-4 days. I had a great job that I really enjoyed. However, I only have one child that has special needs. He was in the hospital almost a year ago and my husband and I were both scared. We realized that we needed to do everything we could to get him better. So we decided that I should be the one home for the next couple of years. He goes to school a couple of hours a day and that's when I tackle chores at home as he usually needs my constant attention.

I plan on looking for job that requires about 10 hours a week, as our medical expenses are high. Every woman is different. You have to do what works best. And then you throw in unforseen circumstances and then you have to adjust.

Yankeesfan · 10-05-2009, 06:55 AM

Kind of sad that some people seem to think that the only kind of work that has any value is that for which people are paid. They (and their children) probably benefit from other people's volunteer contributions in all sorts of ways that they neither pay attention to or appreciate.

dod236 · 10-06-2009, 02:20 PM

My sentiments exactly ChristineVA. I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old. With the 3 year old I stayed at home for 8 months and changed jobs when I was ready to go back. With the 16 month old, luckily my boss allowed me to work from home since we lived an hour and half away for about a year and half. Since we just moved to Fairfax and I'm closer to work, I go in 4 days a week and work from home on Fridays.

My older one's preschool called me today because she had a temp. I left work at 9:30am picked her up, and guess what, when she settled in, I gave her Dora movies and voila! 4 hours later I was done with my work

That might seem bad, but sometimes you have to do what works. I can't envision sitting at home all day, with my brains on empty, but hey! everyone is different.

Sometimes you have to prove to your employer you can do an 8 hour job in 4 hours, since all people do most mornings is chat and stroll to starbucks anyway

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristineVA

I worked and still work through the raising of two children. I'm one of those people who, despite feeling like nothing would happen in my marriage, I just couldn't let myself ever become vulnerable like that. I guess between my mom (who was a single mother to me for many years) and way too many women I know being cheated on by their husbands and left in a bad position, I just could never quit my career. Just my hang up, I know.

But what I wanted to say is that I was VERY lucky through my whole career. For 15 years (when my kids were at their youngest), I had a boss who was also a part of a dual-income family and was acutely aware of the dynamics involved. It was NEVER a problem for me to take off when they were sick, leave early, attend field trips, volunteer here and there, etc. The nature of our work allowed that. In return, when we had a "crunch time" at work, I always made sure to make that a top priority during that period of time.

Now that my kids are older, I have moved on to working for the federal government, and I find them to be just as family friendly, if not more so.

I realize that not all of the corporate world is the same way and others don't have it so lucky/easy, but it can be done and I am thankful for all of the understanding supervisors I've had.

claremarie · 10-06-2009, 02:27 PM

"I can't envision sitting at home all day, with my brains on empty, but hey! everyone is different."

True enough. Some people "sit" at home all day with their brains fully engaged.

cdmurphy · 10-06-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claremarie

"I can't envision sitting at home all day, with my brains on empty, but hey! everyone is different."

True enough. Some people "sit" at home all day with their brains fully engaged.

And plenty of people sit at work all day with their brains on empty, too. My 14-month-old twins are more mentally engaging than some of my former co-workers.

Yankeesfan · 10-06-2009, 03:56 PM

Yeah, really, have some respect. If your brain is on empty at home, it's because you choose to empty it. One could respond, hmmm, why is someone paying you for eight hours for a job you can do in four? But I don't think that's the case for the typical employee either -- they earn their paychecks. It's the people who disrespect those who choose the other option that are empty-headed.

athousandlogins · 10-06-2009, 04:54 PM

Yikes. While I'll be the first to admit that I do really miss being in the workforce, I am so not sitting here with my "brains on empty." That's pretty insulting.

I've never had a job that allowed flexible hours or telecommuting. This was a big part of my decision to SAH; if I had to pick my child up from daycare, I'd have to lose a vacation or sick day for it. And those were limited. Employers who stick to this outdated model shoot themselves in the foot, and there are still a lot of them out there.

michgc · 10-06-2009, 05:55 PM

I have been home for two years now, and I'd like to think I am using some of my brain cells. Today I learned how to post pictures on City-Data. :-). I have also been learning to cook from scratch, organize my family's schedule, manage my family's finances, and have learned how to set up and run a blog. In my spare time I list and sell items on eBay. While I am not earning a heck of a lot of money, I am certainly not sitting home with my brain on empty.

live_strong28 · 10-06-2009, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yankeesfan

Kind of sad that some people seem to think that the only kind of work that has any value is that for which people are paid. They (and their children) probably benefit from other people's volunteer contributions in all sorts of ways that they neither pay attention to or appreciate.

Maybe in some cases, but definitely an assumption on your part to assume that any, nevermind a minority of SAHM's, do indeed volunteer.

BTW, when governments plan and budget, they don't go by assumptions that SAHM's will do any volunteering. They can only plan based on the budget that's established....and guess what? Budgets are funded by tax dollars.

Denton56 · 10-06-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by live_strong28

Maybe in some cases, but definitely an assumption on your part to assume that any, nevermind a minority of SAHM's, do indeed volunteer.

BTW, when governments plan and budget, they don't go by assumptions that SAHM's will do any volunteering. They can only plan based on the budget that's established....and guess what? Budgets are funded by tax dollars.

What's your point?