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Old 10-21-2009, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Virginia
18,717 posts, read 26,826,108 times
Reputation: 42860

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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
Where do you meet all these snooty, unfriendly people? I'm not denying that they're out there, they are. But it seems unusual that this is the only type of person you run into.
I totally agree. Just my opinion, but if most people are "acting stuck up" it's probably not about being those people being stuck up. It's a lot more likely there's something about you that is not attractive.

For example, if you go around with a 'tude, and I can see it on your face, I'll avoid saying hello to you. It's not about being stuck up, it's that I have enough stress in my life already, thank you very much, and I have no interest in angry, aggressive people who have a 'tude. OTOH I often make time to stop and chat for a few seconds with someone who seems warm and relaxed and friendly.
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Old 10-21-2009, 07:52 AM
 
139 posts, read 257,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
I totally agree. Just my opinion, but if most people are "acting stuck up" it's probably not about being those people being stuck up. It's a lot more likely there's something about you that is not attractive.

For example, if you go around with a 'tude, and I can see it on your face, I'll avoid saying hello to you. It's not about being stuck up, it's that I have enough stress in my life already, thank you very much, and I have no interest in angry, aggressive people who have a 'tude. OTOH I often make time to stop and chat for a few seconds with someone who seems warm and relaxed and friendly.
Farifax Mom can defend herself but just to be accurate, she said "they are stuck up or too busy or dont care." This sounds more like speculating on what people's problem is rather than just talking about the stuck up part.

This morning I was in the church parking lot taking my child to day care. A man in an SUV blocked the entrance to where you're supposed to turn in. Instead of baking up to let me through, the abruptly pulled up further just to show that there was no way that I was getting through. Maybe he didn't like the expression on my face, but more likely he was just a jerk.
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Old 10-21-2009, 08:04 AM
 
5,210 posts, read 9,097,575 times
Reputation: 5879
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
I totally agree. Just my opinion, but if most people are "acting stuck up" it's probably not about being those people being stuck up. It's a lot more likely there's something about you that is not attractive.

For example, if you go around with a 'tude, and I can see it on your face, I'll avoid saying hello to you. It's not about being stuck up, it's that I have enough stress in my life already, thank you very much, and I have no interest in angry, aggressive people who have a 'tude. OTOH I often make time to stop and chat for a few seconds with someone who seems warm and relaxed and friendly.
True enough. If, after enough rejection, you wind up walking around with a sour look on your face, all grouchy and mean, you won't draw people to yourself for sure - LOL.

And if you are relaxed and comfortable you might attract more attention than you really want (especially if you're on the more introverted side).

Last edited by springfieldva; 10-21-2009 at 08:16 AM..
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Old 10-21-2009, 08:06 AM
 
5,210 posts, read 9,097,575 times
Reputation: 5879
Quote:
Originally Posted by dlumpen View Post
Farifax Mom can defend herself but just to be accurate, she said "they are stuck up or too busy or dont care." This sounds more like speculating on what people's problem is rather than just talking about the stuck up part.

This morning I was in the church parking lot taking my child to day care. A man in an SUV blocked the entrance to where you're supposed to turn in. Instead of baking up to let me through, the abruptly pulled up further just to show that there was no way that I was getting through. Maybe he didn't like the expression on my face, but more likely he was just a jerk.
Lots of men drive like that. I have no idea why. At least it wasn't a parent at the daycare!

Last edited by springfieldva; 10-21-2009 at 08:14 AM..
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Old 10-21-2009, 08:53 AM
 
Location: DC
3,286 posts, read 10,566,444 times
Reputation: 1301
Oddly enough, I've found people to be the friendliest when I'm walking to work in the morning. You'd think that people would be grouchy at 7:30am, but I'm more likely to get a smile and a "good morning" than not. Even on the Metro in the morning I've run into plenty of genial people. Usually I need some sort of icebreaker (for instance, it's so packed I can't hold onto anything, so someone offers to help after I pre-emptively apologize for falling on them).

As for the rude/stuck-up people, you'd be right in that I just don't care enough. I've got too many things going on in my life to be concerned with it. I have a tendency to greet people if I meet their eye, and sure some don't respond, but I've never taken it personally.
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Old 11-08-2009, 02:28 AM
 
21 posts, read 47,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nvared View Post
I lived in NOVA for 12.5 years and have been in Denver now for several months. The anti-soclalness that people talk about is here too, so maybe it's more than a DC thing. I almost think it's worse here.
Your impression of denver caught my attention. I moved to denver about a year ago after 8 long years in Nova. I find denver to be so friendly. The people are easy to talk to and open to conversing. Customer service is much friendlier. I'm not discounting your experience, it's just interesting b/c I've found Denver to be the complete opposite. Easy to meet people. I'm still fairly new enough that I don't know for sure b/c I'm still working on building friendships and getting into more activities. I think it takes at least 1-2 years to really get a feel for a place and find a niche. but I've felt right at home here from the beginning.
If you have a chace I'd be curious to hear how things are progressing for you in denver. Is it getting any better? Have you been doing things that facilitate meeting new people here? Wish you the best in whatever happens
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:33 PM
 
2,670 posts, read 4,518,379 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlumpen View Post
Farifax Mom can defend herself but just to be accurate, she said "they are stuck up or too busy or dont care." This sounds more like speculating on what people's problem is rather than just talking about the stuck up part.

This morning I was in the church parking lot taking my child to day care. A man in an SUV blocked the entrance to where you're supposed to turn in. Instead of baking up to let me through, the abruptly pulled up further just to show that there was no way that I was getting through. Maybe he didn't like the expression on my face, but more likely he was just a jerk.
Wow, thank you, I had a very similar experience and wondered if I had entered the Twilight Zone. I had pulled into an entrance to a crowded small parking lot near a gym and was waiting for a woman who was leaving to pull out to the right (toward the exit). Instead she tried to pull out to the left (going the wrong way, one lane only) where I had been very patiently waiting for her to get organized to leave and could not back up because there was someone behind me also waiting. It appeared to me there must be something wrong with her since clearly there was no way for her to do what she wanted to do, so I got out of the car and asked her politely to please back up and pull out to the right. She said due to shoulder trouble, she could not do that, and told me to get out of her way by going around the entire parking lot instead! Her shoulder is so bad that she can't perform a simple backing up maneuver but she just got out of a gym?? I wanted to say, "Madam, if your shoulder (eyesight, brain, manners) is that bad, perhaps you should not be driving" but I didn't.
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Old 11-08-2009, 07:10 PM
 
2,688 posts, read 5,950,258 times
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I really don't find these stuck-up attitudes that everyone is complaining about. But these days especially, it's important to have some compassion and give people the benefit of the doubt if they seem preoccupied. You have no idea if someone is worried sick because they've lost their job, their spouse has lost a job, their newly-graduated child can't find a job, they're in danger of losing a job, their business is losing customers, they're having to close down their business, they're upside-down on their mortgage, they need to sell their house but can't get the price they need, their mortgage is resetting to a higher rate, etc., etc., etc. Along with all the other common but serious problems that people have to grapple with even in a good economy. We really never know what kind of burden the stranger standing next to us is dealing with. No, that doesn't justify anyone acting like a jerk but in general, just lighten up and maybe it will help those we are complaining about to do the same, or at least not make them feel worse.
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:05 AM
 
139 posts, read 257,238 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACWhite View Post
Wow, thank you, I had a very similar experience and wondered if I had entered the Twilight Zone. I had pulled into an entrance to a crowded small parking lot near a gym and was waiting for a woman who was leaving to pull out to the right (toward the exit). Instead she tried to pull out to the left (going the wrong way, one lane only) where I had been very patiently waiting for her to get organized to leave and could not back up because there was someone behind me also waiting. It appeared to me there must be something wrong with her since clearly there was no way for her to do what she wanted to do, so I got out of the car and asked her politely to please back up and pull out to the right. She said due to shoulder trouble, she could not do that, and told me to get out of her way by going around the entire parking lot instead! Her shoulder is so bad that she can't perform a simple backing up maneuver but she just got out of a gym?? I wanted to say, "Madam, if your shoulder (eyesight, brain, manners) is that bad, perhaps you should not be driving" but I didn't.
About two years ago, I waited 15 minutes for a space in a busy parking lot. A car behind me was doing the same. When a spot opened, someone just pulled in and took it. When I went over to talk to him about it, he was adamant about not giving it up. His stupid logic was, "were you waiting for this specific spot?" To my surprise I finally got him to move.
It's like there's no order any more.
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Old 11-09-2009, 07:43 AM
 
1,604 posts, read 3,494,523 times
Reputation: 1526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yankeesfan View Post
I really don't find these stuck-up attitudes that everyone is complaining about. But these days especially, it's important to have some compassion and give people the benefit of the doubt if they seem preoccupied. You have no idea if someone is worried sick because they've lost their job, their spouse has lost a job, their newly-graduated child can't find a job, they're in danger of losing a job, their business is losing customers, they're having to close down their business, they're upside-down on their mortgage, they need to sell their house but can't get the price they need, their mortgage is resetting to a higher rate, etc., etc., etc. Along with all the other common but serious problems that people have to grapple with even in a good economy. We really never know what kind of burden the stranger standing next to us is dealing with. No, that doesn't justify anyone acting like a jerk but in general, just lighten up and maybe it will help those we are complaining about to do the same, or at least not make them feel worse.
People in those positions you talk about are more likely going to be more inadvertently distraught and distressed in a general sense than intentionally stuck up and snobbish towards everyone who isn't in their "circle." And DC isn't really in the same situation as the rest of the nation when it comes to the economy, so save those excuses for the rest of America.

To be honest, I think the DC area needs a damn good dose of what the rest of the country has been receiving for the past few years! Maybe it'll knock many of these inhabitants off their high horses and get them to learn some humility.
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