does anyone else hate it here? (Reston, Chantilly: sales, lawyers, good schools)

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by JEB77

I'm not pushing Fairfax Mom out of the state; I wish she were happy. But she's not, as her many months of posts reflecting dissatisfaction with the area indicate. I just wish she could find a way to get back to a place where she's happier. It wasn't intended as a "don't let the door hit you on your back to Jersey" comment at all.

Sorry to hear about Fairfax Mom's dissatisfaction. Fairfax Mom -- I, too wish you the best.

Originally Posted by JEB77

There's a danger in any generalizations of how people in any region - NJ or NoVa - behave, so I'll apologize if you take offense. I DO like the Sopranas, but most of what I know about NJ/NY is based on having lived there almost a decade, not watching TV shows. If you recall Fairfax Mom's posts, you'll find that she celebrates the same things I identify, including the higher "bling" quotient:

I noticed how these were things that were "missed." Yes, big hair and bling are among things are, uh . . . truly unique aspects in NJ . On that note, a little scarier may be the the MTV reality show coming out called "Jersey Shore"-- lots of generalizations: big hair, sunglasses, fights, and of course . . . guidos.

[vivo]

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

Why shove Fairfax Mom out of the State? She/he only answered the OPs question and gave her/his opinion. Asking her/him to move out is no solution and appears to be an attempt to silence her/his opinion.



The 'bling' comment is a stereotype. You've been watching too much of "The Sopranos" and "Growing up Gotti."



Another stereotype. What makes you think that New Jerseyans have to "tone it down a notch"? Isn't that just being phony and fake (the very thing that many people around her abhor)? Making friends in NoVA is the same as any new area someone moves into -- socialize, join groups, find common interests, etc. Trust me, being from NJ, I haven't changed anything and I have ALOT of friends in NoVA and DC -- it just took time.

lol I don't know if you've spent much time in the Baltimore area. I think you are from like south jersey as in way south not like near philly like cherry hill? do you think people from south jersey incl the philly area might like the bmore area more than dc in some ways?

someone on a thread said dc would be perfect if you could swap the people with baltimore's people. i'd say just the snobbery. dc 's people can keep the educational level, high incomes and some of the progressive values.

[JD984]

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

I noticed how these were things that were "missed." Yes, big hair and bling are among things are, uh . . . truly unique aspects in NJ . On that note, a little scarier may be the the MTV reality show coming out called "Jersey Shore"-- lots of generalizations: big hair, sunglasses, fights, and of course . . . guidos.

Let's go out on a limb here...bet it's the Seaside Heights (or Wildwood) version of the Jersey Shore, not Cape May or Spring Lake.

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by vivo

lol I don't know if you've spent much time in the Baltimore area.

Yes, lived there for 5+ years -- got my undergraduate degree there.

Originally Posted by vivo

I think you are from like south jersey as in way south not like near philly like cherry hill?

Central-South Jersey. Not east of Philly - Cherry Hill, Moorestown, Mount Laurel, etc.). These areas are supposed to be South Jersey but they are suburbs of Philly. Generally speaking, when people speak things in South Jersey is mostly referred to the Pine Barrens culture and the NJ Shore life.

Originally Posted by vivo

do you think people from south jersey incl the philly area might like the bmore area more than dc in some ways?

No. South Jersey has hillbillies. I didn't see any of those in Baltimore.

Originally Posted by vivo

... someone on a thread said dc would be perfect if you could swap the people with baltimore's people. i'd say just the snobbery. dc 's people can keep the educational level, high incomes and some of the progressive values.

I'm not sure about this. Both cities have their own flavor, you might say. It makes them what they are.

[clammy ear]

The_Fairfaxian

Yeah, I know what you mean. I went to FCPS from 2nd grade to graduation, and I saw it all first hand. Those two types you mention are prevalent in FCPS as well, it doesn't matter if you are in Chantilly or Mount Vernon, it's endemic. I didn't make many friends at all throughout my school years because I've always been a loudmouthed, outspoken conservative who would not hesitate to call out other people (even teachers) when they were wrong, and I'm sure you know that those people absolutely HATE being called out on their BS. Especially in liberal Fairfax County, where the teachers have to pass a test proving that they are sufficiently liberal to even get hired (God's honest truth, my liberal cousin is a teacher in FCPS, I've heard all about it). So believe me, I've lived it. If you don't conform, you don't make friends, period. But I never really cared, because I'd rather be alone and friendless than pretend to be someone I'm not. I'm weird like that!

Another thing that made me weird was that I knew I wasn't going to go to college right away, so I didn't get into the whole "OMG COLLEGE" attitude, which is just not done in Norva. So really, being who I am and refusing to conform probably made it harder for me than for most, but I never wanted friends just for the sake of having them...call me crazy but I want people who I can relate to as friends, not just superficial drinking and partying buddies, which is about all "friends" are in Norva. Besides, when I DID have a few friends, they always, without exception, screwed me over or stabbed me in the back. Why even try when you can't even have good, trustworthy friends that share the same interests as you? I mean, I'm sure you CAN find decent people there, but you have to go through a million bad apples to find one good person, and I just never had the patience for that. It's also hard as an adult to find friends because people are so standoffish and snobby. How can you make friends with people who would rather spit on you because you don't have a college degree/McMansion/the right car/etc., than talk to you? It is so superficial and fake, it's sickening. I just couldn't play the game, so I left. And I don't miss it.

[Alicia Bradley]

What I like about New Jersey culture is that it's totally acceptable to act (at least semi-) eccentric in public, including talking a bit loudly in restaurants (as long as what you're saying is interesting ). If you have something of a 'weird' personality (as long as it's good-weird) and, say, make public observations about the world around you, you won't necessarily get a second slance (or, worse, a mean one).

Add: I'm basing this on my coworkers from New Jersey, as well as my former landlord and her family. Small sample size, I know, but one of my coworkers (from New Jersey) has even discussed this phenomenon with me... He's made complaints about the area similar to the ones I've seen CDers from NJ make (D.C.-area people are polite to your face but then proceed stab you in the back, etc.).

[clammy ear]

South Jersey Styx-

Baltimore has people like P.J. Tevis. Seriously, look him up on Myspace. You'd rather have the hillbillies, believe me. Southern MD (Waldorf, Charles County, etc) has the more country/hillbilly people, but they are usually pretty nice. I definitely prefer them to the snobs!

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by Alicia Bradley

What I like about New Jersey culture is that it's totally acceptable to act (at least semi-) eccentric in public, including talking a bit loudly in restaurants (as long as what you're saying is interesting ). If you have something of a 'weird' personality (as long as it's good-weird) and, say, make public observations about the world around you, you won't necessarily get a second slance (or, worse, a mean one).

Add: I'm basing this on my coworkers from New Jersey, as well as my former landlord and her family. Small sample size, I know, but one of my coworkers (from New Jersey) has even discussed this phenomenon with me... He's made complaints about the area similar to the ones I've seen CDers from NJ make (D.C.-area people are polite to your face but then proceed stab you in the back, etc.).

Alicia Bradley, I think you've raised a very good point: How to maintain one's 'weirdness' or 'quirkiness' (originality) in a place where it may appear hostile? I find that being patient, playing along smartly, and responding honestly and with intelligence can work. I have been in many social situations in the NOVA-DC area where people just shoot out comments --sometimes derogatory, and I've been able to respond with information they didn't know about or with a look and response that lets them know that their comment is truly unacceptable. Basically, I just don't prefer and/or like people that spew out misinformation, especially if they are snobs or think they're better than everyone else.

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by clammy ear

South Jersey Styx-

Baltimore has people like P.J. Tevis. Seriously, look him up on Myspace. You'd rather have the hillbillies, believe me. Southern MD (Waldorf, Charles County, etc) has the more country/hillbilly people, but they are usually pretty nice. I definitely prefer them to the snobs!

hey, thanks for giving me a laugh this morning!

[Nancy in Nokomis]

Sorry for being such a wet blanket - my husband plans on looking for a new job in another area when and IF the economy improves and there are job openings again - I am hoping in a year or so - the economy has to improve sometime, right?