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Old 11-11-2009, 12:26 AM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
26,558 posts, read 47,304,037 times
Reputation: 11441

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dlumpen View Post
Yes, this is a very good summary about NOVA. Upset about traffic, into their own thing, busy, not wanting to make eye contact, etc. Lots of singles out there too who want to get married but never will. Kind of a social tragedy for a certain number of folks. Some just give up and get a dog, as per Truman's advice on the matter.
Agree also with the "sugar coating" observations. People here go to great lengths to avoid conflict, to be uber-politically correct at all times, and to throw their own personal convictions by the wayside in order to go with the flow. We're kind of like Portland, OR---only without the walkable and "green" atmosphere.
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Old 11-11-2009, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Home is where the heart is
15,400 posts, read 18,113,655 times
Reputation: 18806
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
People here go to great lengths to avoid conflict, to be uber-politically correct at all times, and to throw their own personal convictions by the wayside in order to go with the flow.
Agreed, avoiding conflict is a good way to make friends here. You've exagerrated a bit and stated it in a negative way because it doesn't appeal to you. But the essential point is true. Being relaxed and practicing tolerance are key if you want to make friends when you live in an area with a very diverse population.

Is it sugary? LOL, maybe so. This is an area where a little bit of sweetness helps you make friends. If you prefer a life that tastes like a strong dose of vinegar you may not like it here.
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Old 11-11-2009, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
26,558 posts, read 47,304,037 times
Reputation: 11441
Quote:
Originally Posted by normie View Post
Agreed. You've exagerrated a bit and stated it in a negative way because going with the flow doesn't appeal to you. But the essential point is true. Being relaxed and practicing tolerance are key if you want to make friends when you live in an area with a very diverse population.

Is it sugary? LOL, maybe so. This is an area where a little bit of sweetness helps you make friends. If you prefer a life that tastes like a strong dose of vinegar you may not like it here.
The problem here though is that while people on this forum regard ME as the forum drama queen several others have gone to great lengths to draw parallels between seemingly innocuous statements I have said in the past and my supposedly "racist" personality just to stir up even MORE drama for kicks and giggles. It seems like some people on this forum are just looking for reasons to be offended.

For example, I once said a few months ago in a conversation regarding infilling brownfield sites in Fairfax County before destroying more open space in Loudoun County that the Route 50 corridor through Annandale (which I later found out was unincorporated Falls Church) looked like "Tijuana." I didn't clarify that I meant merely that this area was very sprawling, low-density, and in many cases very aesthetically unappealing, and I paid dearly for that recently on the DC forum when one of these uber-sensitive types used my "Tijuana" reference from months ago to call me a racist. I didn't even know at the time that this part of Falls Church was comprised mostly of minorities, and the ethnic status of the residents had absolutely NOTHING to do with my rather harsh commentary about the poor urban planning there that made the area ripe for redevelopment. I'm sure if I said it resembled "Detroit" I would have been called a racist too, right, because some can't segregate between a city's aesthetic qualities and the majority race of its residents?

Another example was a discussion about Prince George's County, Maryland. Mind you I have numerous African-American friends, colleagues, etc. (and even dated one briefly) so I am the last person you'd accuse of being anti-black, but lo and behold once again I had the uber-sensitives playing the race card against me in an attempt to get me to leave the forum (it obviously didn't work). I merely expressed concerns that if I, a young gay white professional, were to move into a transitional neighborhood in SE/NE DC or Prince George's County and start gentrifying it because they had affordable rowhomes and small single-family homes, that I might receive backlash from the majority African-American natives for improving the neighborhood to the point where the rising property values might eventually price them out of their own neighborhoods. This has happened to lower-middle-class whites in the Poconos of NEPA, where the influx of white-collar NYC commuters has caused taxes to skyrocket and property values to soar, putting a huge financial burden upon the lower-paid natives and causing them to immensely hate the newcomers. I was merely worried that I might receive the SAME reaction from some of the natives in transitional neighborhoods if I came into the scene and started to attempt gentrification, but, alas, I MUST be a "racist" because how dare I even assume such a ludicrous thing as parts of The District or Prince George's County having tense race relations!

Then there was the "Herndondez" incident in which I merely stated that I had heard OTHERS coin the term in reference to the high Hispanic population there, and yet several others who apparently have poor reading comprehension skills slammed me (and continue to do so), saying that I'm the one who created the name and should be ashamed of myself. Don't even get me started on the Sterling Park incident, either, in which I was also slammed for complaining that I had to stand in line an hour longer than necessary at the DMV merely because a significant number of those ahead of me couldn't speak English and didn't know what a social security number was (I tried not to eavesdrop, but sometimes it's difficult not to when you're that frustrated).

Talk about a lot of odd passive/aggressive Type-A personalities here. Try to express ONE genuine and original thought that MAYBE (just "maybe") might portray something in a negative light, and it gets blown out of proportion and stretched to unthinkable proportions. People are just looking for reasons to be offended here.

Someone upthread talked about how they missed the folks of NJ who wouldn't back down from an argument and wouldn't be afraid to put a rude person in their place. It's a shame that so many in NoVA have been "Jell-O-fied" into near-jellyfish, afraid to say anything that's on their minds for fear of backlash from an uber-politically-correct crowd that can't accept reality sometimes.

I just don't understand here why the mantra always has to be "don't worry; drive happy." If you stick your heads in the sand like ostriches and intentionally AVOID conflict, then how will any of this region's massive problems that are currently being ignored be resolved.
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Old 11-11-2009, 09:08 AM
 
Location: In the woods
3,286 posts, read 5,252,342 times
Reputation: 1420
Default so-o-o-o- right . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbogyrl View Post
Unfriendly? I must say, I do agree with South Jersey Styx to a large degree... small towns in Jersey are pretty friendly. But then everyone knows everyone's business... and that was never much fun, right?
I'm glad you mentioned this!!! There are times when I return to my childhood hometown and run into people who know a heck of alot about me (even though I don't live there anymore). This can be both good and bad -- bad if it impedes into one's very private life; good, for example, when you hear that an old friend has cancer or a death in the family (which will typically prod a visit).
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Old 11-11-2009, 09:18 AM
 
Location: In the woods
3,286 posts, read 5,252,342 times
Reputation: 1420
Default It's nice to have peace of mind . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
Someone upthread talked about how they missed the folks of NJ who wouldn't back down from an argument and wouldn't be afraid to put a rude person in their place. It's a shame that so many in NoVA have been "Jell-O-fied" into near-jellyfish . . .
Uh, that was me ScranBarre. And yeah, people in South Jersey will definitely speak their mind about things. That doesn't mean that everyone is mean, or full of "vinegar", or looking for a fight. It just means that they're just real about things and have little tolerance for people who are indeed rude, mean, out of control, etc. Not just to them but to the way others are treated, particularly the less fortunate. Maybe it's the rural environment . . . I'm not sure . . . . but people just have a big sense of community and look out of for each other, families, neighbors, etc.

And arguments/debates - don't even let New Jerseyans get started on things like politics, taxes, property, or race. They really can go all out on their forum where it's typical for a thread to get shut down because of the discussions.
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Polish Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
26,558 posts, read 47,304,037 times
Reputation: 11441
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngadude View Post
It's just payback because you did the same thing - reworded someone's post and accused them of being a racist. Taste of your own medicine - don't like it much?
1.) When did I do this?
2.) If I did do so then it was probably a "heat of the moment" incident borne from an emotionally-driven response, and I apologize.
3.) So I did this a long time ago on one occasion so several others twist around numerous different scenarios as well to tell people on other forums I'm a racist, and that is considered proper "payback?" How about I up the ante then?
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:23 AM
Status: "I hate the holidays." (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Arlington, Virginia
15,239 posts, read 17,973,837 times
Reputation: 16019
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
The problem here though is that while people on this forum regard ME as the forum drama queen several others have gone to great lengths to draw parallels between seemingly innocuous statements I have said in the past and my supposedly "racist" personality just to stir up even MORE drama for kicks and giggles. It seems like some people on this forum are just looking for reasons to be offended.

For example, I once said a few months ago in a conversation regarding infilling brownfield sites in Fairfax County before destroying more open space in Loudoun County that the Route 50 corridor through Annandale (which I later found out was unincorporated Falls Church) looked like "Tijuana." I didn't clarify that I meant merely that this area was very sprawling, low-density, and in many cases very aesthetically unappealing, and I paid dearly for that recently on the DC forum when one of these uber-sensitive types used my "Tijuana" reference from months ago to call me a racist. I didn't even know at the time that this part of Falls Church was comprised mostly of minorities, and the ethnic status of the residents had absolutely NOTHING to do with my rather harsh commentary about the poor urban planning there that made the area ripe for redevelopment. I'm sure if I said it resembled "Detroit" I would have been called a racist too, right, because some can't segregate between a city's aesthetic qualities and the majority race of its residents?

Another example was a discussion about Prince George's County, Maryland. Mind you I have numerous African-American friends, colleagues, etc. (and even dated one briefly) so I am the last person you'd accuse of being anti-black, but lo and behold once again I had the uber-sensitives playing the race card against me in an attempt to get me to leave the forum (it obviously didn't work). I merely expressed concerns that if I, a young gay white professional, were to move into a transitional neighborhood in SE/NE DC or Prince George's County and start gentrifying it because they had affordable rowhomes and small single-family homes, that I might receive backlash from the majority African-American natives for improving the neighborhood to the point where the rising property values might eventually price them out of their own neighborhoods. This has happened to lower-middle-class whites in the Poconos of NEPA, where the influx of white-collar NYC commuters has caused taxes to skyrocket and property values to soar, putting a huge financial burden upon the lower-paid natives and causing them to immensely hate the newcomers. I was merely worried that I might receive the SAME reaction from some of the natives in transitional neighborhoods if I came into the scene and started to attempt gentrification, but, alas, I MUST be a "racist" because how dare I even assume such a ludicrous thing as parts of The District or Prince George's County having tense race relations!

Then there was the "Herndondez" incident in which I merely stated that I had heard OTHERS coin the term in reference to the high Hispanic population there, and yet several others who apparently have poor reading comprehension skills slammed me (and continue to do so), saying that I'm the one who created the name and should be ashamed of myself. Don't even get me started on the Sterling Park incident, either, in which I was also slammed for complaining that I had to stand in line an hour longer than necessary at the DMV merely because a significant number of those ahead of me couldn't speak English and didn't know what a social security number was (I tried not to eavesdrop, but sometimes it's difficult not to when you're that frustrated).

Talk about a lot of odd passive/aggressive Type-A personalities here. Try to express ONE genuine and original thought that MAYBE (just "maybe") might portray something in a negative light, and it gets blown out of proportion and stretched to unthinkable proportions. People are just looking for reasons to be offended here.

Someone upthread talked about how they missed the folks of NJ who wouldn't back down from an argument and wouldn't be afraid to put a rude person in their place. It's a shame that so many in NoVA have been "Jell-O-fied" into near-jellyfish, afraid to say anything that's on their minds for fear of backlash from an uber-politically-correct crowd that can't accept reality sometimes.

I just don't understand here why the mantra always has to be "don't worry; drive happy." If you stick your heads in the sand like ostriches and intentionally AVOID conflict, then how will any of this region's massive problems that are currently being ignored be resolved.

This region claims to be colorblind but I ran about a post in discussion with Falls Church HS that I find to show how "colorblind" Northern VA really is.

Quote:
You will find on this forum that many of the posters are very uncomfortable with FCHS because there is no majority race/ethnicity there. Its a 1/3rd white, 1/3rd Hispanic, 1/4th Asian (vietnamese/korean/indians and others).
While they slam someone for addressing a racial issue directly, they do the same thing back-handedly.
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Home is where the heart is
15,400 posts, read 18,113,655 times
Reputation: 18806
Speaking about being friendly, today is Veteran's Day. If you see someone in uniform, why not make a point of saying "Happy Veteran's Day." Or even better, "Thanks for serving your country." You don't have to make a big scene about it, that can be embarrassing. But a few nice words said in passing are a very friendly thing to do.
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Home is where the heart is
15,400 posts, read 18,113,655 times
Reputation: 18806
Quote:
Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx View Post
And arguments/debates - don't even let New Jerseyans get started on things like politics, taxes, property, or race. They really can go all out on their forum where it's typical for a thread to get shut down because of the discussions.
LOL, this is such a great example of how "friendliness" sometimes gets confused with "an environment I'm accustomed to."

Someone used to bickering would find the people you've described above to be very friendly. OTOH, someone like me, who did not grow up in an environment like that, would think they were very unfriendly. Some people think arguments show a population that is warm and real... to others, bickering is as cold and unfriendly as it gets.

That's why, IMO, you really can't really judge something as subjective as friendliness. Who's to say what's friendly and what's not? Everyone will have a slightly different definition of what friendliness is, based on what they grew up with.

Last edited by normie; 11-11-2009 at 11:46 AM..
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Old 11-11-2009, 11:52 AM
 
4,539 posts, read 5,223,426 times
Reputation: 2092
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScranBarre View Post
The problem here though is that while people on this forum regard ME as the forum drama queen several others have gone to great lengths to draw parallels between seemingly innocuous statements I have said in the past and my supposedly "racist" personality just to stir up even MORE drama for kicks and giggles. It seems like some people on this forum are just looking for reasons to be offended.

For example, I once said a few months ago in a conversation regarding infilling brownfield sites in Fairfax County before destroying more open space in Loudoun County that the Route 50 corridor through Annandale (which I later found out was unincorporated Falls Church) looked like "Tijuana." I didn't clarify that I meant merely that this area was very sprawling, low-density, and in many cases very aesthetically unappealing, and I paid dearly for that recently on the DC forum when one of these uber-sensitive types used my "Tijuana" reference from months ago to call me a racist. I didn't even know at the time that this part of Falls Church was comprised mostly of minorities, and the ethnic status of the residents had absolutely NOTHING to do with my rather harsh commentary about the poor urban planning there that made the area ripe for redevelopment. I'm sure if I said it resembled "Detroit" I would have been called a racist too, right, because some can't segregate between a city's aesthetic qualities and the majority race of its residents?

Another example was a discussion about Prince George's County, Maryland. Mind you I have numerous African-American friends, colleagues, etc. (and even dated one briefly) so I am the last person you'd accuse of being anti-black, but lo and behold once again I had the uber-sensitives playing the race card against me in an attempt to get me to leave the forum (it obviously didn't work). I merely expressed concerns that if I, a young gay white professional, were to move into a transitional neighborhood in SE/NE DC or Prince George's County and start gentrifying it because they had affordable rowhomes and small single-family homes, that I might receive backlash from the majority African-American natives for improving the neighborhood to the point where the rising property values might eventually price them out of their own neighborhoods. This has happened to lower-middle-class whites in the Poconos of NEPA, where the influx of white-collar NYC commuters has caused taxes to skyrocket and property values to soar, putting a huge financial burden upon the lower-paid natives and causing them to immensely hate the newcomers. I was merely worried that I might receive the SAME reaction from some of the natives in transitional neighborhoods if I came into the scene and started to attempt gentrification, but, alas, I MUST be a "racist" because how dare I even assume such a ludicrous thing as parts of The District or Prince George's County having tense race relations!

Then there was the "Herndondez" incident in which I merely stated that I had heard OTHERS coin the term in reference to the high Hispanic population there, and yet several others who apparently have poor reading comprehension skills slammed me (and continue to do so), saying that I'm the one who created the name and should be ashamed of myself. Don't even get me started on the Sterling Park incident, either, in which I was also slammed for complaining that I had to stand in line an hour longer than necessary at the DMV merely because a significant number of those ahead of me couldn't speak English and didn't know what a social security number was (I tried not to eavesdrop, but sometimes it's difficult not to when you're that frustrated).

Talk about a lot of odd passive/aggressive Type-A personalities here. Try to express ONE genuine and original thought that MAYBE (just "maybe") might portray something in a negative light, and it gets blown out of proportion and stretched to unthinkable proportions. People are just looking for reasons to be offended here.

Someone upthread talked about how they missed the folks of NJ who wouldn't back down from an argument and wouldn't be afraid to put a rude person in their place. It's a shame that so many in NoVA have been "Jell-O-fied" into near-jellyfish, afraid to say anything that's on their minds for fear of backlash from an uber-politically-correct crowd that can't accept reality sometimes.

I just don't understand here why the mantra always has to be "don't worry; drive happy." If you stick your heads in the sand like ostriches and intentionally AVOID conflict, then how will any of this region's massive problems that are currently being ignored be resolved.
Or could it be that people are just looking for reasons to be offensive here?

I think Normie is right that, in a region as diverse as ours, it's not a bad thing that people are a bit "politically correct." In general, however, I find that most people in this area have fairly strong views on a wide range of topics and aren't afraid to express those views. Perhaps because of the political traditions, they just tend to know how to express their viewpoints in a polite manner (that is, they know how to "agree to disagree"). For example, this is a town where Teddy Kennedy and Orrin Hatch could hold very different political views, and still be friends with another; the same is true for Justices Ginsburg and Scalia, who have very different guiding legal philosophies, but are also close friends.

On the other hand, those who don't have that skill, or don't acquire it, can often find this area tough sledding.

Last edited by JEB77; 11-11-2009 at 12:04 PM..
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