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(NOTE: This is a personal rant about how I witnessed a young woman, likely new to our country, nearly brought to tears by the many pushy people whom I've encountered here. If all you're going to do is tell me to "move" or "stop whining", then feel free to skip reading this).
This has been truly tearing me up inside ever since I arrived home, so please bear with me as I vent this story from earlier today. I was at the Chick-Fil-A along Sunset Hills Drive in Reston earlier this afternoon at approximately 3:15 PM. I pulled into the parking lot and walked down the sidewalk in front of the building behind a woman who looked to be some sort of business professional (clad in a gray blazer). She obviously saw my reflection as she opened the first exterior door, and yet she still let it slam in my face just two feet behind her. On the other side of the small vestibule she once again opened the door and kept walking, so I was sure to say "Thank you" to her for her kindness in just letting doors slam behind them instead of doing what I always do and holding them for the next person.
Anyhow I get behind her and stand in line at the counter. Those familiar with Reston know it is an extremely diverse community with a lot of people who have English as their second language. The woman goes up to order, and as I eavesdrop I can immediately hear her becoming frustrated with the poor young woman who is speaking broken English back to her as she asks her for different options. The woman specifically wanted an iced tea with "real lemons", a meal, and a $20 gift card, amongst other special requests. Not five seconds after placing her order the businesswoman glances down at her watch, sighs, and says, very rudely, that she's already running late to be somewhere she needs to be and doesn't have time for this. The poor younger girl apologizes the best she can in her broken English. The woman repeatedly sighs, huffs, and otherwise throws a semi-quiet (yet still noticeable and immature) hissy-fit because she doesn't appreciate the fact that the staff at this particular restaurant is having difficulty understanding her and vice-versa. She raises her voice fiercely when the girl goes to get her drink and asks if she wanted "lemonade."
Meanwhile a kind, short, middle-aged woman, also a foreigner, motions for me to come to an adjacent register. I plopped down my gift card and asked for $25 (this is part of a gift I'm giving to my prospective new better half---stay tuned). This woman also has broken English, but instead of blowing up at her I smile the whole time as she struggles with the language to let her know that it's okay to take her time---nobody is perfect. The woman who was in front of me is still miffed and staring at her watch as she waits for her order, and I am quickly served, given my change and my receipt, and am told "Merry Christmas!" by the shorter middle-aged woman who had been assisting me. I wished her the same in return, and as I turned and was nearly out of the restuarant she yelled back "SIR!!" I turned around, and she was waving something at me. She gave me a nice little "cow" calendar (I love cows!) with a different coupon to be used every month! The woman in front of me was still huffing and puffing. All I wanted was to walk behind the counter after the woman had left and give the girl a hug.
I had parked my Mazda in a spot that was nearly directly behind the impatient and "important" woman's Prius, so when I got into my car I waited to watch her get into her car. I had wanted to wait for her to get ready to back up so I could back up first---very, very slowly---just to prolong the amount of time she would be late as a punishment for how callously she treated that young girl, who was nearly in tears by the time I had left. I was secretly hoping the nasty businesswoman would actually BUMP into my car with her Prius, just to make her day even more "miserable" as I filed an insurance claim against her for putting a dent into my own "baby." All in all we were BOTH in and out of the restaurant in well under five minutes, but I guess that isn't rapid enough for the "important" business professionals of Fairfax County. Here's a thought. If you were "already late" for an appointment, then why keep your client waiting by stopping for fast-food? This woman could have afforded to have lost a couple of pounds or could have used a day or two on the treadmill anyways.
This comes on the heels of seeing many other likely college-educated and supposedly "professional" people in this area behave very rudely to minorities and/or those who are employed in the service/retail/hospitality industries here since I relocated to the South. I loved the one day back in July when I was treated to seeing a grown man throw a "don't you know who I am?" tantrum when the security guard in the main lobby of a major government contractor in McLean wouldn't let him into the other parts of the campus without surrendering his drivers' license as collateral for a visitors' badge. I also loved when I was at a Walgreen's in Herndon and also saw a woman behave very "above" a minority employee.
What is with this area and the lack of common courtesy exhibited towards people who work with the general public? I'm a retail veteran myself, having been employed for numerous years by Lowe's Home Improvement back North, and I could count the number of times over the years I was treated rudely by people on one hand. I'd approach everyone with a smile and jump through hoops to satisfy my customers, and in return people were generally pacified and patient with me (even when we were insanely busy and I had people lining up around me like the deli counter at a grocery store). Speaking of the deli counter, I'd also like to say I've also seen a few people behave very disrespectfully to the mostly minority people who work at the deli at the Giant in Reston's Northpoint District.
For God's sake, people, give these folks a break. You are getting paid likely $70,000-$90,000 annually to sit on a chair all day and type into your laptop and/or answer your phone while listening to your iPods. You drive a new car, most likely imported from Germany. You live in a comfortable home where there's never a problem putting food on the table (judging by that "important" businesswoman I saw today at Chick-Fil-A) or cranking up the heat on a chilly night. These people, for all we know, earn $25,000-$35,000, live in squallid 1-BR apartments, drive beater cars, and have to work long shifts with minimal breaks while being talked down to by people who think that just because they have a college education or an Anglo-Saxon background that they are somehow "superior" to those who are "beneath" them. It has really sickened me to have seen this occur so frequently since I have moved here.
I can only hope that poor girl from Chick-Fil-A doesn't have a sour attitude towards Americans in general now thanks to people like "Executive Butter Thighs" today.
I do agree with you about this kind of rudeness, Scran-Barre. I hope you'll remember your own words above before you come back here bragging again about your very own aggressive driving and intentional tailgating on your way to work in the morning, which apparently you think is justifiable just because you feel some degree of anonymity behind the wheel and are not face-to-face with your victim.
You can't control other people's behavior, only your own, so kudos for your courtesies to retail employees.
Your sagas do somewhat remind me of "Goofus and Gallant" from Highlights, which I read as a kid. Seems you're always Gallant and most everyone else you encounter in the area always gets cast in the Goofus role.
I haven't run into many situations like that when I was living in Manassas, or now in west Springfield, but I probably would've had tried to delay her in the lot too. In fact, I would have been pretty tempted to say something while at the register. The "thank you" for not holding the door (or you're welcome, when someone doesn't say thank you) is something I would do too.
I do agree with you about this kind of rudeness, Scran-Barre. I hope you'll remember your own words above before you come back here bragging again about your very own aggressive driving and intentional tailgating on your way to work in the morning, which apparently you think is justifiable just because you feel some degree of anonymity behind the wheel and are not face-to-face with your victim.
No. I'll continue to tailgate in certain circumstances. It's not "rude" of me to intimidate someone who doesn't belong driving 10 miles per hour under the speed limit in the passing lane on a highway. If they aren't aware of the "Pass Left; Drive Right" rule of the road, then they shouldn't be driving. Everyday while coming home along Leesburg Pike between McLean and Reston I'm irritated to see people blowing by me in the right-hand lane because there never ceases to be someone in front of me in the left-hand lane going under the speed limit. If I'm on a 2-lane road I leave a proper following distance since that vehicle can legally go up to what I think is 10 miles per hour below the posted speed limit and still be within legal territory (you CAN get ticketed for driving too slowly too, just so you know). However, if I'm on a multi-lane divided roadway there's no reason to "enable" left-lane lolly-gaggers. If you're not passing, then MOVE OVER!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEB77
You can't control other people's behavior, only your own, so kudos for your courtesies to retail employees.
Your sagas do somewhat remind me of "Goofus and Gallant" from Highlights, which I read as a kid. Seems you're always Gallant and most everyone else you encounter in the area always gets cast in the Goofus role.
I loved Highlights too! They were based out of Honesdale, PA, just up the road from my former hometown. I learned a lot growing up from "Goofus and Gallant."
If you're somehow implying that I think I'm always "right" and everyone else must always therefore be "wrong", then that is not the way I perceive things, and I'm sorry to have exhibited that persona. Generally speaking though I coudn't help myself. I was tempted to call this woman out right in the middle of Chick-Fil-A and cause a scene for how rudely she was berating this young woman, who was at least trying to speak English (I can't say the same about many others here who flat-out refuse to even try to learn). As I said this WOMAN could have merely pushed back her appointment or decided to wait to hit up Chick-Fil-A until when she wasn't as "late."
Quote:
Originally Posted by tgbwc
I haven't run into many situations like that when I was living in Manassas, or now in west Springfield, but I probably would've had tried to delay her in the lot too. In fact, I would have been pretty tempted to say something while at the register. The "thank you" for not holding the door (or you're welcome, when someone doesn't say thank you) is something I would do too.
I really had to stomach all of my might to not call her out. I wanted to say to her "Guess what? I'm in a hurry too, and I probably hate my life a hell of a lot more than you do. That doesn't mean I have to be an awful jerk to others like you are." I did enjoy airing the "thank you" in her direction when she let the door slam in my face when she knew I was behind her though because she somewhat flinched after I said it as if she sensed my irritation with her. That poor young girl behind the counter was visibly looking berated/belittled. Nobody deserves that. I would have felt more satisfaction to have had INCHED out while backing up behind her Prius as she waited tapping her feet and foaming at the mouth, but the parking lot was very congested. I didn't want to risk any other innocent party getting involved in a fender-bender over this situation between us. I hope she made it to her "important" meeting without too much chicken stuck between her teeth.
I do say "You're welcome" to people who don't say "Thanks." I also pound my car horn for five seconds straight if the person in front of me suddenly stops to turn without signaling. I don't care if people think I'm a typical Northerner with an attitude if that's what it takes to FORCE manners and common sense onto people down here. Just because you're college-educated and wearing a blazer or a suit doesn't make you any "better" of a person than the young girl speaking broken English behind the Chick-Fil-A counter or the single African-American mother working the deli counter at Giant.
I'm inspired now. The next time I see something like this occur down here I AM going to cause a huge scene. Maybe the offender will then think twice before treating fellow human beings like pieces of trash.
Last edited by SteelCityRising; 12-14-2009 at 06:21 PM..
I live in Fairfax now, but I used to live in Petersburg - it's a place south of Richmond, and it's a pretty poor and depressing place.
I used to work at a fast-casual restaurant there similar to Chik-Fil-A and got treated the same way as the girl you describe, but by very different people. Not rich, not important, not educated. It's definitely not a northern VA thing, a race thing, a class thing, or anything. I think it's just standard behavior toward service people by some people - personality problem, I guess.
I just try to counter those nasty people by being as nice as I can to people like that girl behind the counter. I'm understanding if there's a (reasonable) wait, give sincere thanks if I make them go out of their way, and so on.
By the way, what the hell are "real lemons"? I had that demanded of me numerous times as well. Believe me, I cut them myself every morning before the store opened, they're real.
By the way, what the hell are "real lemons"? I had that demanded of me numerous times as well. Believe me, I cut them myself every morning before the store opened, they're real.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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ScranBarre,
Hate to say this but you really shouldn't be surprised with this behavior by a so-called rich Fairfax County resident. I hate to say it but it really blows the lid off as Northern Virginia being a true melting pot. The residents will project the attitude that they are completely colorblind and classblind and accepting of everyone. I've been here 5 years and can attest it is complete BS. I'm not as accepting of everyone as I "should" be but at least I don't try to out up a front like most of Northern Virginia.
I work in a financial institution in a government building and encounter people like your woman every day. The worst part is that most of the p^$#-poor treatment I get are from women of my own color. They think that since I make only half of what they make and am half and in some cases a third of their age they have the right to treat me like their son. Some can't really stand that a young black man won't cut them slack on filling out a deposit slip on the "we're brotha and sista" tip. I don't really know OR CARE what you got away with before I started here but I'm here and I'm going to enforce the rules by the book and use good judgement on what to cut slack on. I'm just trying to get some valuable experience before I depart in May.
Back in Hampton Roads we didn't have crap like this happen. We don't have a reputation of being "melting-pot" diverse but Hampton Roads is well-intergrated meaning people of different races and classes get along just fine and interact with each other is many aspects of life. If a part of "ignorant ROVA" can get this why can't NoVA get it?
Sadly, I admit to being less than nice to fast-food workers. I've seen what they make, yuck. Even though I was on an anti-illegal high a couple of years ago, I gotta remember they are people and God said "as you do unto the least of these."
By the way, what the hell are "real lemons"? I had that demanded of me numerous times as well. Believe me, I cut them myself every morning before the store opened, they're real.
I think people say real lemons instead of lemon flavoring, such as lemon flavored ice tea.
ScranBarre, it's nice to know people who treat customer service people well. Once, a few years back, I was a recent immigrant with okay english in a customer service job. And I was always able to understand them and they understood me. Still, people were nasty. Not the majority but there were some real idiots.. Idiots that made me go back to school so that I would never ever had to work a customer service job. And these people were both rich and poor, young and old. I think some don't like hearing accents of any kind but most just have a bad day and take it on a stranger who just happens to stand behind a counter. I understand the stereotype you're portraying here but rude people are everywhere, unfortunately.
Scranny, what if this rude woman in your story had just received a call from Reston Hospital....a loved one had only hours to live....and their dying request was to have a chicken sammich and some waffle fries smuggled in...
Wouldn't you feel awful?
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