Recommendations/suggestions on where in NOVA are good places for the straight male love-shy to find nice girls? (food, best)

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

You might start by referring to them as "women" instead of "girls".

Please understand, no disrespect intended in any way by the earlier phrasing of "girls". "Women", "Ladies", "Girls"...all the same to me (all meant to respectfully refer to the lovely female individuals of the species!)

[CAVA1990]

Are you native born? Are there perhaps some cultural barriers in the way?

[Caladium]

To be honest, I think you'll get better suggestions by posting a question like this on the Relationships Forum. Nova's no different than any other metro area when it comes to matters like this. IMO all we can offer is generic advice. Best of luck to you.

[Alicia Bradley]

I ♥ introverts (and am one myself) but am already spoken for (by an adorable introvert I met online in a special interest community). (And, for the record, I'm not offended by "girls" - it's sort of the female equivalent of "guys," I think.)

Hmm... my brother's single, and my sister met her husband at some kind of fundraiser event in Chicago. He was very gregarious and approached her with some cheesy line that almost scared her away, but he turned out to be a really cool guy and they got married a couple years later.

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Caladium

Have you considered toastmasters? It's a group to help people develop public speaking skills and appeals to a lot of shy people. Between the speeches and table topics you tend to learn a lot about each other, so it would give you common ground when talking to the single girls during a break. I've been to a few, and it's fun. A lot of the speeches are funny, so it's like going to a comedy club at times. Just so you know, though, some of groups seem to have mostly married people, others have quite a few singles (so if you hit the wrong group, ask one of the other members which one would be a better choice).

Thanks for the suggestion! It certainly seems like an interesting thing to look into. Do they tend to be composed of large groups of people though? While small groups are great, in the past I've found that people never seem to notice me in a large group for some reason, and won't talk to me. Even attemping to talk to them directly results in abrupt single-word or single-sentence answers, and then they turn their attention elsewhere. As a result, these days I tend to avoid large-group interactions, and focus more on small-group and individual settings.

Originally Posted by Caladium

Other than that I really think church groups, volunteering, and taking classes are the best way for shy people to meet dates. Focusing on the shared activity will help you get past the shyness.

Volunteering is the one thing I haven't tried yet, sounds very neat! At every church I've been to, 95+% of the people were very cold, and it was clear that I would never be accepted or part of the inner circle, and so I've essentially completely given up on that approach. (The last church I seriously attended for worship services was for 6 months, with no luck at all in either meeting romantic or even friend potential.) Classes I could try, but although I excelled academically and graduated with honors and high distinction from college, I consider it to be a complete failure to grow socially, as it only resulted in total social isolation (very long story)...and so I don't particularly relish the idea of revisiting that experience.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by Knight2009

Classes I could try, but although I excelled academically and graduate with honors and high distinction from college, I consider it to be a complete failure to grow socially, as it only resulted in total social isolation (very long story)...and so I don't particularly relish the idea of revisiting that experience.

You have to take fun classes, like Line Dancing or How To Bake Fancy Cookies. Something that involves a lot of interaction.

In toastmasters everyone takes a turn at speaking. Some give speeches, the others participate in a thing called table topics where you must talk off-the-cuff for a few minutes on some random topic. The topics are usually things like "Tell us about a movie you like" or "tell us about something funny that happened to you on a snowy day" or "which is better, cats or dogs?" The groups I've been to had about 20 people in attendance, I don't know if that's typical or not.

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Caladium

To be honest, I think you'll get better suggestions by posting a question like this on the Relationships Forum. Nova's no different than any other metro area when it comes to matters like this. IMO all we can offer is generic advice. Best of luck to you.

Understood, thx for the helpful suggestion. Are C-D members allowed to cross-post an existing thread in another C-D forum? If so I'd certainly be happy to place a post there as well?

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

Most women don't really care for introverts. At least the ones I know.

Even if the introverted guys are also very nice though? (If you may have seen the 2002 version of the movie "The Time Machine", starring Guy Pearce playing the time-traveler scientist / character Alexander Hartdegen, that's really the kind of "nice introverted guy" I'm trying to convey.) In other words, just because a person is introverted, doesn't necessarily mean they also can't be a nice, warm, or even caring person toward others at the same time?

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by CAVA1990

Are you native born? Are there perhaps some cultural barriers in the way?

Born in the U.S. to an average, middle-class family. With the exceptions of being love-shy and not being interested in sports pretty much at all, I fully enjoy American culture

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by Caladium

You have to take fun classes, like Line Dancing or How To Bake Fancy Cookies. Something that involves a lot of interaction.

In toastmasters everyone takes a turn at speaking. Some give speeches, the others participate in a thing called table topics where you must talk off-the-cuff for a few minutes on some random topic. The topics are usually things like "Tell us about a movie you like" or "tell us about something funny that happened to you on a snowy day" or "which is better, cats or dogs?" The groups I've been to had about 20 people in attendance, I don't know if that's typical or not.

Thanks again for the excellent and valuable suggestion. I will definitely be sure to research this further.