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Old 01-13-2010, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Nova
486 posts, read 1,491,090 times
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How do you parents handle kids who are born after the Sept. 30 cut off to start kindergarten, but you think are ready to start school? Let's say the child already know most of the kindergarten curriculum posted online and can read?

I've also heard girls are often ready sooner than boys so many parents don't worry if the boys aren't of age.

But what do parents do? Petition to start early? Send their kids elsewhere? Try to start in 1st grade? Just stick it out and wait an extra year before starting kindergarten?

Thanks.
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Old 01-13-2010, 02:49 PM
 
1,261 posts, read 5,614,620 times
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I'm sure different parents choose the option they consider right for their families, including choosing to homeschool. My daughter misses the cut off by 9 days and I chose to just wait it out and have her attend a Pre-K program at her preschool (5 mornings per week) next year.

When she was younger, I remember worrying about her because she was so "smart" (in my opinion like every parent) and so ready and now I feel that "readiness" goes beyond academics and knowing the K curriculum. There is something to be said for emotional maturity and I don't think it will hurt her one bit to be among the oldest in her class versus one of the youngest (just my humble opinion).
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Old 01-13-2010, 03:12 PM
 
Location: TX
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^ agree.

Yes you can probably request to have your child tested and enter early etc... But LOOK past K-garten and even elem school. We now are a society where ALOT of parents hold thier boys back (Even April b-days)
I have an AUG girl who was very "advanced" etc...I didn't think twice about sending her to K-garten, she made the cutoff afterall. Shes now in 10th grade. honor student, varisty sports.... But we have had our problems along the way....

So now fast forward to MS/HS you child will be the youngest....
when do you let your child watch PG-13 movies? I said no. but most start watching at 12. I had to bend the rules for sleepovers in 6th grade and say OK to some movies since ALL her friends were 12 going on 13.

DATING.... enter HS. No 1 on 1 dating freshman year. But they will have boyfriends.... She had just turned 14 when school started. Almost all her friends were 15. (taking drivers ED etc..) She was in some classes with Juniors (smart kid AP classes) They are 17-18 (those boys that were held back!) There are some seniors who are turing 20 in the late spring (school goes till June have April b-days and were held back) and here she was 14!! They are MEN not boys!
I was really second guessing my decision.

She is doing fine and the only complaint she has is that she won't be able to drive until her Junior year!!

Socially she has always done well and playing sports I believe had alot to do with her easy transition into HS.
But it's just food for thought....If I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now...I would probably hold off a year on the K-garten.
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Old 01-13-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,419 posts, read 3,018,313 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5stones View Post
^ agree.

Yes you can probably request to have your child tested and enter early etc... But LOOK past K-garten and even elem school. We now are a society where ALOT of parents hold thier boys back (Even April b-days)
I have an AUG girl who was very "advanced" etc...I didn't think twice about sending her to K-garten, she made the cutoff afterall. Shes now in 10th grade. honor student, varisty sports.... But we have had our problems along the way....

So now fast forward to MS/HS you child will be the youngest....
when do you let your child watch PG-13 movies? I said no. but most start watching at 12. I had to bend the rules for sleepovers in 6th grade and say OK to some movies since ALL her friends were 12 going on 13.

DATING.... enter HS. No 1 on 1 dating freshman year. But they will have boyfriends.... She had just turned 14 when school started. Almost all her friends were 15. (taking drivers ED etc..) She was in some classes with Juniors (smart kid AP classes) They are 17-18 (those boys that were held back!) There are some seniors who are turing 20 in the late spring (school goes till June have April b-days and were held back) and here she was 14!! They are MEN not boys!
I was really second guessing my decision.

She is doing fine and the only complaint she has is that she won't be able to drive until her Junior year!!

Socially she has always done well and playing sports I believe had alot to do with her easy transition into HS.
But it's just food for thought....If I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now...I would probably hold off a year on the K-garten.

SO agree with this post. I just moved here from CT where the cut off is December 31st. My twins started kindergarten at age 4 (turning 5 in October). i wanted my daughter in school because she was more than ready, even though my son was well, a typical young boy. Fortunately it worked out just fine for us, but when we moved here to VA this year, my kids were in 2nd grade in CT. I knew moving here that no other kids would be their age in 2nd grade so i ended up putting them back into 1st grade. It was absolutely the right decision because the kids are all their age, as opposed to their being the youngest by oh about 3-4 months I'd say? Parents start holding back their kids in July and August so do you really want your daughter to go through school that much younger than everyone else? I wouldn't fight it, find a challenging pre-k program and wait until next year.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Ashburn, VA
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Another agree on waiting. I felt the same way about my daughter with her October birthday but for the social and maturity part I think it worked out fine. Naturally, now that she's in kindergarten I feel like she knows more than the other kids but maybe that will even out in the long run. Holding kids back a year, especially boys, when they have a summer or fall birthday seems to be popular right now so having my daughter start at the regular age keeps things a bit more even in terms of age.

I figure the cut-off age has to happen at some point, whether it's September or December so you're always going to have kids who miss the deadline closely in either direction.
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:12 AM
 
3,164 posts, read 6,129,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liloulou View Post
How do you parents handle kids who are born after the Sept. 30 cut off to start kindergarten, but you think are ready to start school? Let's say the child already know most of the kindergarten curriculum posted online and can read?

I've also heard girls are often ready sooner than boys so many parents don't worry if the boys aren't of age.

But what do parents do? Petition to start early? Send their kids elsewhere? Try to start in 1st grade? Just stick it out and wait an extra year before starting kindergarten?

Thanks.
It's rarely kindergarten that is the problem, but social problems in 5th grade, 7th grade, 9th grade and being the youngest in college. The kids who are a year younger (often two years younger) are always at a disadvantage in social situations and sports, among other things. Every child would prefer not to be the youngest in her class.

Wait. No parent EVER regrets waiting but many regret their child being the youngest child in the class. Read this book, and you will be convinced to wait, Amazon.com: Outliers: The Story of Success (9780316017923): Malcolm Gladwell: Books It will explain why the youngest children in the class are not put into GT classes, will never be on the hockey team, etc.

From what I saw it was very true. The academic stars at TJ were always the oldest kids, never among the youngest in their grade. Most of those stars had summer or fall birthdays and their parents had waited a year to send them, despite them being VERY bright kids. That wait sure didn't hurt them!

Give your child the gift of an extra year of childhood. Wait. You won't regret it, but you might regret sending her as the youngest in the class.
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:13 AM
 
Location: Falls Church, VA
722 posts, read 1,755,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56 View Post
Wait. No parent EVER regrets waiting but many regret their child being the youngest child in the class.
I don't know about that. We've had this topic here before, and there were indeed some experienced parents who at least we're unsure if they made the right decision to wait.

That said, waiting is certainly the majority decision these days, and I think it's reasonable. The possible negative consequences of sending a student too early (big learning and social problems) feel worse to many parents than the possible negative consequences of sending a student too late (boredom in class).

I have a good friend - her son and my son were born just a few days apart, both of them well after Sept. 30th. The boys are only 3, but we've already talked about this. She feels very strongly that her son will be ready for kindergarten when he is 4-going-on-5. Rather than 5-going-on-6 as per the cutoff guidelines. So she is planning to get around the rules by enrolling her son in private school at least through the first grade.

Personally, I'm not making any such plan, so it looks like our sons will be in different grades. I don't mind if my son is one of the older kids in his class, even if he turns out to be some sort of genius (In Northern Virginia, we have what feels like billions of "genius" children - you get a bunch of super accomplished adults together and let them have children, and these parents immediately assume their children will also be super accomplished. And statistically, they're probably right, but it's still vaguely annoying.)

I feel like waiting is erring on the side of caution. And I'm okay with caution when it comes to my kid's growth.
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:37 AM
 
2,462 posts, read 8,053,821 times
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Most children of upper middle class professional parents are probably "ready" for kindergarten-level work when they are 4 going on 5. They know their letters and numbers, some are already reading at least at a rudimentary level, they have large vocabularies, they are eager to learn about science and nature. Many of them have been attending academically-oriented preschool or daycare for several years. So it's easy to see why parents are confident that their child is ready for school, even though the state says he's not. The fact that full-day kindergarten makes it easier for employed parents to manage their work schedules adds to that conviction.

If everyone else in the classroom were 4 going on 5, it wouldn't be a big deal. But they're not. Most of the kids will be well past their 5th birthday, and some are already 6. That kind of enormous age disparity in young children leads to problems for the younger kids, no matter how brilliant they are. My husband is an academic who is working with a graduate student on research that shows a sharp increase in ADHD diagnoses and Ritalin prescriptions for children who just made the age cutoff for school attendance. It's still a working paper, but it seems that kids who are, really, just acting their age are nevertheless judged to be suffering from a disorder because compared to their peers (who are older), they aren't measuring up in attention span, ability to sit still, etc. The tendency for parents to "red-shirt" their children, especially boys, whose birthdays are several months before the cutoff has lead teachers, consciously or not, to raise the bar for grade-appropriate behavior.

Not to mention that many school systems make it extremely difficult for parents whose kids just missed the cutoff to justify starting them early..
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,419 posts, read 3,018,313 times
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agree with the above. I am not a propronent (sp?) of holding back, but if you missed the cut off, you missed the cut off, why argue? It will all work out in the end. The disparity in ages is quite dramatic though. My son turned 7 in early October and is in the 1st grade. His "best" friend in his 1st grade class turned 6 in August. So my son is a full 14 months older - and he's not the oldest kid in the class. It's kind of comical to see them together, the little boy is SO small compared to my son (who is tall for his age), I kinda feel badly for him. One time i heard him say to my son during an argument, "You're not the boss of me!" as he looked up at my son who was at least a whole head taller. I was cracking up He also acts like he should be in preschool while my son was in 2nd grade in CT. BUT they enjoy each other and my son does have some social issues so I'm just happy he has a friend

The moral of my long story is that I for one wouldn't want to rush your child into a situation where she'll always be the youngest, or the smallest or the least mature etc. No need for it. Find a good pre-k program and let her enjoy her childhood.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Nova
486 posts, read 1,491,090 times
Reputation: 276
Very interesting responses from everyone. I do agree with a lot of what is said, and disagree with some of your opinions too. But I do have a follow-up question... why are parents holding their kids back? I mean, that was definitely not the norm 20-30 years ago and there were old and young kids in classes. It seems strange to me.

Has anyone had great and excellent experiences allowing their child to start early?

My sister skipped a grade, was clearly the youngest in her grade but was in GT classes, went on to be the #1 player in a high school sport, was at the top of her class, was the valedictorian at her college, etc...

The answer may be as most are saying, to find an excellent pre-school and still work like I do with her at home, but just feeling it out.

Thanks again!
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