NOVA is the most unfriendly avoiding place I've ever lived (Washington: fit in, how much)

[jimmycrapcorn]

I want to know if anyone else has noticed this. I find the DC area and Northern Virginia in general to be pretty much the strangest coldest place I have ever lived. People dress like they've got big money in the city, but no one talks and nobody makes eye contact. Metro stations can be full of people who aren't talking, and the packed yet silent trains are eery sometimes. Everyone seems afraid of everyone else. I've noticed neighbors don't wave when you pass by. I have a Jeep, and nobody out here does the Jeep wave either. Everyone is an avoider unless they're in safe groups and I'm not sure what it's all about. People look right at you or start talking in other cities. Around here strangers seem really really uncomfortable if you try to say hello without provocation. Am I missing something? This is like living in an antisocial Stepford community.

I don't think this is a generalization, I think job opportunities aside, as far as human contact goes this feels like a bad place to live. I would LOVE to hear some opinions on why it's like this.. Too many foreign embassies, too much Intelligence, Miltary.. Too many CIA and FBI people? What?? What is WRONG with DC?

[crazee8]

I work in NYC and that takes the cake for silent and rude. Riding the subway there is like being in the twilight zone or in a Matrix movie. If you are a naturally out-going person, then a large city anywhere will probably be dissappointing. I hate to say it but I'm one of the people that never make eye contact and ignore. My reasons are not because I'm NOT friendly, it's because everyone on earth is sooo freakin' critical. So why subject myself to someone's idea of perfection. I'll keep to myself and ignore everyone around me, thanks. Also, I work with crowds all the time and when I'm not at work - I like to pretend no one is around me IF you catch me outside of my house.

[Andy1369]

I do relate with you in some ways, but there ARE plenty of friendly people in DC. You just gotta try a bit harder, and try to avoid the big boys at the various federal buildings. As for NoVA, I can't say, as I don't go there often. (Too boring for me - overpopulated, too rich and snobby, nothing exciting to do).

How do you feel about Maryland? You didn't mention MD in this post.

[caution]

It's just a "type A" place. The obvious factors contribute (federal, high-transition, political, etc).

[American Arrogance]

Well if you had to sit in traffic for more than 45 mins you'd be a bit stand offish too. I have lived in this area all my life. I smile everytime I look at someone and say hi or some type of greeting, if they dont respond back or acknowledge me, I move on. I dont stress out over it. Its no big deal. I go back to my subruban comunity in Va and wave, talk and socialize with my neighbors.

What I do notice is that its mostly the out of towners who act snobbish and anti socialize. The native Washingtonian is very friendly.

[shauna714]

I've lived here many years and I agree with you 100%. Northern Virginia has always been unfriendly, but seems to be getting worse in this respect and the only thing I can attribute it to is the sheer volume of people. The more people you compete with on a daily basis for even your simplest of needs, the more irritable people get. I think it's incredibly hard to make friends here. Everyone seems to have an all-important, serious agenda, and no time to be friendly or even pleasant. I have to work REally hard at getting "hellos" out of neighbors and most times when I try to start a conversation with someone my age, admiring their children or their car or whatever, they barely answer and don't even look up. It's SO rude !

For years I've wanted to move away because of this aspect. But the thing that keeps many of us here is the economic bubble we all live in. Northern VA seems to be immune from the unemployment and decay that we see happening in other cities. There seems to be an abundance of wealth and jobs here, which keeps most of us here as long as we can tolerate it. However, I long for the day when I am able to move away. Virginia is absolutely beautiful, but it's the people that make it ugly in another way.

[stockdale.35]

Couple answers for the question.

1. Dont kid yourself by targeting DC Metro, NY, MIA, CHI, LA very much the same. I have been and spent time at all of the above lived in two of them.

2. I think one person answered this but high turnover and people dont stay for like 10-15 years. The issue of making friends is not worth while(and they may already have enough friends and dont want any more)

3. You must not not attend ANY happyhours do you? Happy hours and pool hall are great to find people relaxing and talkative.

4. I think you should have a self evaluation, maybe its not DC playa, maybe its you.

Oh yeah, and take yourself to maryland like that bozo said.(rolling eyes)

[shauna714]

I don't agree whatsoever with the last post. I'm from the Midwest and am extremely outgoing and friendly. I do NOT think the original poster needs to examine himself AT ALL. He is exactly right ! I've lived here 18 years and from day one, I've found this place to be starkly different from the friendly parts of the nation that I've lived in: southern CA, Knoxville and Ohio. I just think some of us are more sensitive to unfriendly treatment, while others can let it roll off their shoulders more. There is nothing wrong with the person who started this thread.

[VRE332]

The problem is that so many people have to be politically correct at work, and their lives revolve around work that they cannot make the disconnect. Also there's lot of EGO's especially gray haired men wearing building tags.

I also think virginian's are reserved and polite, and if they don't say anything to you it's because they don't want to distrurb you.

[Fern435]

Originally Posted by shauna714

I don't agree whatsoever with the last post. I'm from the Midwest and am extremely outgoing and friendly. I do NOT think the original poster needs to examine himself AT ALL. He is exactly right ! I've lived here 18 years and from day one, I've found this place to be starkly different from the friendly parts of the nation that I've lived in: southern CA, Knoxville and Ohio. I just think some of us are more sensitive to unfriendly treatment, while others can let it roll off their shoulders more. There is nothing wrong with the person who started this thread.

In complete agreement with Shauna and the original poster. Part of it is residual southern "hostility." Overall, the midwest, rockies and west coast just don't encourage that attitude. Whenever we go back to the west coast, my kids comment on how much friendlier people are to strangers in line, etc., than they are here in northern Virginia.

The classic reaction here when a person says this is an unfriendly area: the problem is you. It's all *your* fault you don't fit in (not their fault for having terrible manners to strangers)!

Maybe if I walked around with an ugly, sour peasant-hag look on my face like many women around here, then I wouldn't have so many problems fitting in. These are the most miserable-looking, angry people I've ever encountered.

Where are all the noVA rah rah cheerleaders? Touting services, protecting property values in wealthier areas...?