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So another new poster who asked a simple question and is getting a lesson in morals. They know how many kids they have and how they got them. They don't need their hands slapped for being what you deem to be irresponsible. What's wrong with just answering someone's simple question?
No wonder people run away screaming from this forum.
Hi all! Sorry I havent been checking up on here. Assumed it would send me an email notification of some kind if anyone responded again.
I totally appreciate all the advice and feedback. No offense taken at all.
I would truly love to stay in Hawaii, its my home.
I have lived in Hilo with family and it never went well. They would always depend on me for rides, to buy them their wants and needs. I pretty much would spend my checks on everyone else but my family.
The reason why I really want to get away from here is
1) my family always needs something from me
2) they only help me with the kids when i give them food from my foodstamps.
3) they always put me down after they use me, when I am broke.
4) i cant do or say anything because I have nowhere else to go.
5) my in laws are all of the above plus they hate me for not being the same race as them.
6) they hate that I married their baby boy and think he deserves a better girl(one of their nationality)
7) they take at least 2k of taxes from us every year.
I have so many reasons why I want to move, why I want to get my kids away from everything.
I also live in a home surrounded by drug addicts and theifs.
I know some of you were asking why I had kids so young. I never had a real family to love and support me.
My parents sold me when I was a baby, if it wasnt for my great grandma who bought me back not sure where I would be right now. My grandma was the only person I knew to love me but her ways of keeping me held down was too much. Never allowed to go to a friends house, never allowed to have friends over for more than 2 hours. Not allowed to go out and watch movies, or visit the mall. She always kept me locked up and when I finally found a bf that "loved" me I ran with it.
Didn't work out. Then I met my husband, got pregnant and was kinda forced to marry him(my grandma).
I am lucky he stuck around but being so young, we made mistakes. I was scared for a long time that he would leave me, so I had another baby. I think that the way I grew up I was insecure? I wanted to be loved.
Making these wrong decisions led me to have this life I have now.
Last year was my breaking point. My husband had 2 jobs, one at Whole Foods and a smaller restaurant in Waikiki. We had started to search for apartments.
We bought supplies for our apartment in advance. Started stocking up on Laundry soap, diapers, toilet paper, baby milk, dishwashing soap, quarters for laundry, baby soap, toothpaste etc... every chance that I had extra money I would buy something. I wanted to be prepared that if we were broke for the forst couple months trying to adjust or for emergencies I would have a supply on the side.
I did this for about 6 months on top of 50$ every paycheck from my hubby.
Taxes came and I was excited. We had found a 1 bedroom for 1075$. I didnt care that we would have to sleep in the living room and the kids take our room. I was happy that we had found ourselves a place.
We got back 5000$ in taxes.
Here came my in laws, kissing their sons butt and asked him for 3000$. Well yeah...of course he gave it to them. We didnt take the place because what would we have in case of emergencies? 1000$?? I gave up...
So yeah thats my story of why I want to leave. Why I want a fresh start. I plan on getting my GED when I can have my own place, when we are settled down, and when my husband can actually watch our kids and I can study in peace.
So another new poster who asked a simple question and is getting a lesson in morals. They know how many kids they have and how they got them. They don't need their hands slapped for being what you deem to be irresponsible. What's wrong with just answering someone's simple question?
No wonder people run away screaming from this forum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherwoody
I was about to say the same thing. You said it better (nicer) than I would have.
And I agree. This continuing pattern of harassment of people who ask questions here has gotten out of hand. STOP IT.
Asking questions and getting answers is the whole point of the forum here. There's certainly room for a wide range of opinions in the responses, but there is no reason for the snark, hostility, and personal attacks that have become everyday behavior by a handful of posters. Hawai'i is the Aloha State, and negativity is just a huge suck on the Aloha.
AWUE! Sistah! yah it sounds like u need to get away from the bad situation you have wit ohana. Really truly you have my empathy and know that the situation your in is not pono. Maybe move and rebuild yourself and comeback home later? Remember home can never be lost to you if you don't forget. Keep in touch wit the culture and events and the same aloha feeling of home will stay wit you. Good luck to you.
I would love to suggest the Pacific N.W because we get alot of people from hawaii move here and theres alot of hawaiian culture events here. But lately its also getting expensive. Creeping up on 1,000mth studio rents here.
And I agree. This continuing pattern of harassment of people who ask questions here has gotten out of hand. STOP IT.
Asking questions and getting answers is the whole point of the forum here. There's certainly room for a wide range of opinions in the responses, but there is no reason for the snark, hostility, and personal attacks that have become everyday behavior by a handful of posters. Hawai'i is the Aloha State, and negativity is just a huge suck on the Aloha.
As a sign in one of my favorite bars puts it...
Be Nice, or Go Outside!
Just my opinion and not really directed at you OpenD persa it would be helpful if people remember that this is a forum and not a game show. There should be no reason for this to be competitive. Theres no prizes. Everyones perceptions of reality and experiences of our island home is valuable. It humbly reminds us that our reality isn't the ultimate truth.
Haha thanks anyways I would love to move somewhere I can keep my culture but honestly, I want my kids to have their own rooms. A yard to play in and maybe in the future some animals: )
Although I am struggling to keep my sanity here I have faith. I know I can do it.
I may not have graduated but I still have common sense. I just wish I had better guidance. At 23 this is going to be a huge move. Especially doing it all on our own? Yeah support would have been much nicer.
But thank you for your response I am really happy that you all have been trying to give me advice.
Who knows maybe I will hit the lotto one day hahah
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