U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Florida > Ocala
 [Register]
Ocala Marion County
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-16-2014, 11:36 AM
Status: "When is MY time?" (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: in the miseries
3,276 posts, read 3,393,562 times
Reputation: 3769

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by =^..^= View Post
I don't think Monroe is anywhere near Silver Springs or Belleview. It doesn't look like a place to go to meet people and make friends in the neighborhood. Who is this post aimed at?
It's in ocala
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-16-2014, 07:20 PM
 
113 posts, read 160,929 times
Reputation: 52
Sorry I forgot to check back on this. I can't really help much for seniors. There is The Villages, which is pretty close. You can always make the drive there. It is incredibly social.
I met people in my neighborhood just by talking to them.
I can't speak to TN people. I've never really dealt with them. I can speak to Central FL, GA, and some of the panhandle and I am very pleased with the friendliness.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2014, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Florida
3,838 posts, read 3,140,097 times
Reputation: 3414
Quote:
Originally Posted by =^..^= View Post
I don't think Monroe is anywhere near Silver Springs or Belleview. It doesn't look like a place to go to meet people and make friends in the neighborhood. Who is this post aimed at?
A possible answer to your first post. It is located in Ocala. If you get their quarterly news letter you will see a few community activities at the end.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-26-2014, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,333,230 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
It's in ocala
From the site: "Munroe’s prestigious Prestige 55 program was designed exclusively for residents aged 55 and older. This hospital-based program provides for a healthier community by focusing on the whole person including physical health, spiritual health, socialization, exercise, diet and education."

Have you been there? Do they do the same things they do in the clubhouses? Lending library? Weekly popular movies? Covered dish dinners? Dances? This seems to be health-oriented, not exactly what we're looking for. And it's not close to either Belleview or Silver Springs.

Thanks for the suggestion though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-26-2014, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,333,230 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblack86 View Post
Sorry I forgot to check back on this. I can't really help much for seniors. There is The Villages, which is pretty close. You can always make the drive there. It is incredibly social.
Yes, we've been there a few times. But unless you live there in one of the gated communities you can't use the clubhouse or pools. So that stops you from meeting people where conversation is possible. The other events we went to for the general public were so crowded and so noisy it was not possible to even hold a conversation with someone no less get to know them. There was nowhere to park. It was overwhelming. Have you been there? This is why I'm asking here where people outside the GCs and CGs/Resorts are going to meet people other than in bars and clubs.


Quote:
I met people in my neighborhood just by talking to them.
Where are they when you talk to them? Do you walk a dog around the neighborhood to meet other dog walkers to talk to? I seldom see people outside when we drive around the neighborhoods in Ocala, SS and Belleview. Maybe someone mowing a law, getting into a car - that's about all. When we visit my SIL in The Villages it's like a ghost town. Everyone must either sit indoors for some reason or go to the Clubhouse. The Lanais are empty. No one in the pools. Last time we saw one man get out of a car and go into his house. Time before that one man walking a dog. My SIL meets people at the Clubhouse.

Quote:
I can't speak to TN people. I've never really dealt with them. I can speak to Central FL, GA, and some of the panhandle and I am very pleased with the friendliness.
Where are you meeting these people? In stores? Dr's offices? Did they become true friends you socialize with or have they remained just acquaintances? I'm asking because outside the RV Resorts we stay at we don't see people except in the stores and restaurants. We spent hours walking around one good size section of Silver Springs off 40 last winter. We walked it almost every day. All we met was on couple there for the winter, and a few teenage boys who seemed to be walking around all the time. Maybe they were home schooled.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-26-2014, 11:59 AM
 
1,458 posts, read 944,893 times
Reputation: 2951
Quote:
Originally Posted by =^..^= View Post
Where are they when you talk to them? Do you walk a dog around the neighborhood to meet other dog walkers to talk to? I seldom see people outside when we drive around the neighborhoods in Ocala, SS and Belleview. Maybe someone mowing a law, getting into a car - that's about all. When we visit my SIL in The Villages it's like a ghost town. Everyone must either sit indoors for some reason or go to the Clubhouse. The Lanais are empty. No one in the pools. Last time we saw one man get out of a car and go into his house. Time before that one man walking a dog. My SIL meets people at the Clubhouse.
I've lived in the area for almost a decade and I would agree that 'recreation within one's neighborhood' seems quite infrequent, particularly compared to what I observed living/working all over the northeastern US. There's probably a wide variety of reasons, but some that immediately come to mind are:
  • The lack of sidewalks and/or street lighting in many communities.
  • The greater heat/sun exposure.
  • Notoriously bad Florida drivers.
  • Fear of being victimized.
  • A greater abundance of pet owners violating leash laws.
  • A greater prevalence of aggression-prone dog breeds in suburban communities, coupled with irresponsible pet owners.
  • It could simply be a pseudo-cultural phenomenon: People in Florida, for whatever reason, simply like to 'go somewhere' in particular to enjoy outdoor recreation. With respect to pet owners, many people do not have lots larger than a 1/4acre, so a dog park may be the only place where "Fido" can legitimately stretch his legs.
As far as your observation regarding the use of swimming pools is concerned: Most people with enclosed pools will use them in the morning or after the sun goes down unless they're hosting a party, have children, or feel compelled to tan, as access to their own pool (and pool weather) is nearly yearlong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-27-2014, 11:30 AM
 
135 posts, read 165,128 times
Reputation: 151
Born and raised in SC and now living in Gainesville, FL. I'm just going to be blunt. Southerners, especially in long established communities, have an inherent distrust of northern transplants. Some downright hate them. Yes, their life revolves around family and church, so if you want to get in good with them, join a church. Lots of people join churches just for the social aspect. As for the area where you are looking, that is OLD Florida, and they are not going to welcome you with open arms. There is an old southern saying "To have a friend, be a friend." You'll have to go to them, they aren't likely to come to you. I don't know if you garden, but the garden club is the best place on earth to make lasting friends in a new community. You automatically have something in common, and gardeners can lead you to all the "hidden" events in the community. If you don't garden, go to the Chamber of Commerce and find organizations you might like to join and be an active part of. Do volunteer work, especially at schools and hospitals. Schools are best. Once you have established yourself as a true part of the community, things will change. Just be wary if anyone ever says "Bless your heart." In some cases, it's the same as saying "You're an idiot."

In short, don't sit at home and wait to be invited to BBQs. Throw one of your own and invite a few people in your neighborhood. If you see people sitting on the front porch or in the yard, go over and talk, or at least wave. In the South, you get back what you give, and then some, but first, you have to give.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-28-2014, 01:36 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,333,230 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by OpinionInOcala View Post
I've lived in the area for almost a decade and I would agree that 'recreation within one's neighborhood' seems quite infrequent, particularly compared to what I observed living/working all over the northeastern US.
I'm originally from a middle class neighborhood in NYC where people were very social and neighbors had block parties, shared garden flower cuttings and vegetables they grew, women would get together for shopping trips, babysit each others children, bring covered dishes to injured or sick neighbor, get together to play cards with friends etc. That doesn't seem to go on in south. It sure doesn't here in TN. And from what I saw and heard, doesn't happen in FL neighborhoods either. It's like everyone stays to themselves.


Quote:
There's probably a wide variety of reasons, but some that immediately come to mind are:
  • The lack of sidewalks and/or street lighting in many communities.
  • The greater heat/sun exposure.
  • Notoriously bad Florida drivers.
  • Fear of being victimized.
  • A greater abundance of pet owners violating leash laws.
  • A greater prevalence of aggression-prone dog breeds in suburban communities, coupled with irresponsible pet owners.
Yes, I saw the dog problem in both Belleview and SS. When we went for walks we took Pepper spray with us and a broom handle. It was worst in SS.



Sarasota and Bradenton didn't seem to have the dog problem we saw in SS and BV but we saw the same ghost town streets there we saw in SS and BV. It can't be all retired people - where are all the children? We didn't even see children playing in fenced yards in FL - in WINTER when the weather is nice. We were never in FL in the summer but watching the weather online it's as hot there as here in middle TN. He wants to move somewhere around Ocala because he has family there in The Villages and in another town I can't remember the name of.



Quote:

  • It could simply be a pseudo-cultural phenomenon: People in Florida, for whatever reason, simply like to 'go somewhere' in particular to enjoy outdoor recreation. With respect to pet owners, many people do not have lots larger than a 1/4acre, so a dog park may be the only place where "Fido" can legitimately stretch his legs.
As far as your observation regarding the use of swimming pools is concerned: Most people with enclosed pools will use them in the morning or after the sun goes down unless they're hosting a party, have children, or feel compelled to tan, as access to their own pool (and pool weather) is nearly yearlong.
So what it comes down to is unless one is in a Gated Community or RV resort/park where there are clubhouses to meet others, it's no different than here in TN. Rather than buy a house in FL I think my husband and I will have to look into a nice RV Resort or Campground because there is no way we would live in a Gated Community.

Thanks for the information.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-28-2014, 03:39 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,333,230 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by kassie99 View Post
Born and raised in SC and now living in Gainesville, FL. I'm just going to be blunt. Southerners, especially in long established communities, have an inherent distrust of northern transplants. Some downright hate them.
I can't speak for Old Florida but can for TN. Why would Southerners HATE someone for no reason? Why not get to know someone before hating them? That's almost like racism where people hate African Americans simply because of the color of their skin. Why hate someone because of where they come from? Blacks didn't choose to be black any more than people from the north chose to be born and raised there. Racism is based on ignorance just like bigotry. Distrust? Why? What do you think people from the North are going to do to you that a southerner wouldn't?

Quote:
Yes, their life revolves around family and church, so if you want to get in good with them, join a church. Lots of people join churches just for the social aspect.
I already tried that years ago when I moved here. You don't "get in good with them" because they see you in church every Sunday. That is a fallacy. I was welcomed to their church, then promptly ignored as they sat with their family and friends. I would sit alone week after week. Trying to converse with them was almost impossible as all they did was answer as briefly as possible and move on. This is not just my experience either. It's because of how they treat people that all those I met from other states have lasted here no more than 2 to 4 years. They then moved either back home or somewhere else. Social isolation was the reason they would leave.

Quote:
As for the area where you are looking, that is OLD Florida, and they are not going to welcome you with open arms. There is an old southern saying "To have a friend, be a friend." You'll have to go to them, they aren't likely to come to you.
And how do we go to them when they have no interest in making friends outside their family and old cliques from their youth? When they turn down all invitations with every excuse imaginable? When you wave and they don't wave back? When they thank you for that bag of fresh tomatoes you bring them and quietly close their door? When they refuse any offer of help when injured or sick because their family or old friends are already there or on the way? What do they expect from us that would be acceptable? Tell me the secret. And again, this is what every single northerner I met here ran into and why all left as soon as an opportunity arose.

Quote:
I don't know if you garden, but the garden club is the best place on earth to make lasting friends in a new community. You automatically have something in common, and gardeners can lead you to all the "hidden" events in the community.
I do garden but there are no garden clubs here anymore. The old one kept northerners out by requiring a sponsor. The same nasty tactic used by Country Clubs in the past to keep blacks and Jews out. The old book club used the same tactic. Are those in the garden clubs where you live willing to make friends with someone even though they're in family clans and old established cliques? I would find that hard to believe after living here since 1979. The only true southern friend I had here was a woman from east TN who had no family clan here and no clique of friends from the past. She moved here with her husband who was from Maine. She was not a church goer either. We were friends from 1980 until she died 2 yrs ago.

My husband and I were invited my mail to a local fund-raising catfish fry held at the Fire Dept about 2 yrs ago. We went and were welcomed by maybe 3 people of the 50 or more there - they then walked on. It was all small groups of people of assorted ages just like in the churches. All little cliques and family clans. No one spoke to us tough we both tried to engage people in conversation about the food, the weather, the Fire dept, fund raising, whatever we could think of. We got brief responses, mostly yes or no answers and they'd turn back to their family and friends. We ended up sitting by ourselves. No one noticed when we left. I guess rudeness, coldness, bigotry and prejudice comes natural to them. Perhaps it's cultural and taught in their homes. Maybe they learn it by osmosis. My husband has a southern accent as he was born and raised in TN but he was not in any of the local clans/cliques so was also ignored. It's odd the churches here don't teach the people how to treat others as they themselves want to be treated. We did join a Square Dancing club about 10 yrs ago. The man who ran it was constantly after the cliques to invite new people in, to stop clustering by themselves, that it was making new people leave - it did no good. We quit after a year. Of all the new members that year, we lasted the longest.

Quote:
If you don't garden, go to the Chamber of Commerce and find organizations you might like to join and be an active part of. Do volunteer work, especially at schools and hospitals. Schools are best. Once you have established yourself as a true part of the community, things will change. Just be wary if anyone ever says "Bless your heart." In some cases, it's the same as saying "You're an idiot."
There is no "community" here. Society here is made up of tight-knit closed family clans and these old established cliques. People are tied up with their church and family activities as already mentioned. I'm retired now and done doing volunteer work. Even if I still had the interest, it wouldn't be possible to find a place to volunteer where there were people NOT in these closed tight-knit cliques/clans. Were people don't have these ties taking up all their time. Both retired, we travel now and go camping and spend winters in FL. I don't think you can grasp what clans and cliques are.

They all say "Bless your heart" and Ya'll come see us" ad nausium. They even say it to each other.

Quote:
In short, don't sit at home and wait to be invited to BBQs. Throw one of your own and invite a few people in your neighborhood.
Oh PLEASE!!!! Do you think people from the North are idiots? You're almost insulting. What makes you assume we or any other Northerner sat at home waiting for someone to knock at the door to invite them anywhere? How do you think we made friends in the North? That doesn't even make sense. Before I remarried, my ex-husband had several cook-outs and BBQs and invited all the neighbors on the road. He invited several people from his place of work. Only one couple came. They were immigrants from France and as poorly treated by the natives as we were. All he got was BS excuses from all those couples he invited. These are some I remember: They already had a commitment that day. Their daughter was getting married that day. Their mother was getting surgery that day. They had to pick up some relative at the airport that day. The first time he thought maybe they didn't know us well enough to come - the second time he realized what they were and didn't invite anyone ever again. So tell me, how do you get people away from their clique/clan to come to these things instead of hearing every ****-poor excuse they can dream up?

Quote:
If you see people sitting on the front porch or in the yard, go over and talk, or at least wave. In the South, you get back what you give, and then some, but first, you have to give.
And you think Northerners don't do those things? How do you suppose we made friends up north? I can't believe anyone would write something like that. Now that is ignorance. Do you think we all sat in our apartments and homes in the North waiting for people come to the door?

So doing all those things will somehow be seen as GIVING by a southerner and they'll be willing to be friends with Northerners, setting aside their clan/clique to come to a BBQ, or over to play cards or watch a rented movie, or a sports game on TV, go out to dinner and have coffee with the people from the North? The Southern women will suddenly not have excuses why they can't go to the Mall with the Yankee woman? Odd that every Yankee I ever met here GAVE and GAVE and GAVE by doing all or most of the things you suggested and the southerners did nothing to reciprocate nor were willing do be anything more than acquaintances, clinging tightly to their closed clan/cliques. They finally got disgusted with all that (one-sided) GIVING, the constant excuses when inviting them somewhere, and being invited to nothing but fund-raisers and to churches where they were ignored. They would finally give up and move somewhere else.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-28-2014, 08:56 PM
 
1,458 posts, read 944,893 times
Reputation: 2951
Quote:
Originally Posted by =^..^= View Post
So what it comes down to is unless one is in a Gated Community or RV resort/park where there are clubhouses to meet others, it's no different than here in TN. Rather than buy a house in FL I think my husband and I will have to look into a nice RV Resort or Campground because there is no way we would live in a Gated Community.

Thanks for the information.
For whatever reason people here seem to be private within their immediate community, but open books when they encounter strangers/passing acquaintances in a public setting. I have some theories about this, though I'd prefer not to have the conversation go in that direction.

The ultimate point is: If you desire frequent social interaction you'll likely have to work at it, at least in the short-term.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Florida > Ocala
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top