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Old 06-21-2015, 05:58 AM
 
2,056 posts, read 2,263,662 times
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This is a problem when you get to be older, no doubt about it, and I'm not sure why its like this. I know as someone 63, that its much harder to connect w/ people. Florida itself is a bit of the issue. Having lived in several cities here, I just don't fit in. I'm from the South, and nearly everyone I meet in our mobile home senior community is from up North. We're cats and dogs. Plus, during the summer over half the park goes back up North to what I consider their "real" life. There's no continuity w/ people. I have to agree w/ the comments that paint many Southerners as being overly concerned about church. It's not everyone, and when I lived in New Orleans and Savannah it wasn't like that, but many people from down here are in that boat. Being a Buddhist leaves me out in the cold, except for the Unitarians, whom I often like being around.

People tend to get more conservative when they age, and I haven't. If anything I'm more liberal. So when talking to all the flag wavers and "I Support Our Troops People" (I support peace), it isn't long before any conversation veers into an area I am not comfortable in. Well, I'm comfortable, but they aren't comfortable w/ my views. The wife and I have sort of given up making any friends in Florida. W/ no one that has any of our values, and to tell the truth, no people that are what I would call friendly, it is what it is.

For what its worth, I found the people in Knoxville to be very friendly, but a 3 week visit isn't much to go on. Wish I had some good advice, as I would take it myself! In my mind, you have to be someplace where you "belong" in order for friendships to happen. Looking back at my life, that was often a job site, and when you don't work, there goes that opportunity. So there's one problem. If you don't work, there's none of that camaraderie. A valuable opportunity for socialization disappears. People say to volunteer, but nearly every volunteer opportunity I have followed up on deals w/ some sort of faith (Christian) based program down here. That is just not going to work. In the past I have been comfortable doing that w/ the Catholics and Unitarians, who seem to be more liberal and walk the walk, vs talk the talk, but they are in extremely short supply in our area. The closest Unitarian center is about a hour and a half bus ride each way, and the buses here stop running (where they are) so early, that I could get out there but not get back. So 3 1/2 years after moving here we have the neighbor across the street to visit with, the neighbor on one side of us, and that's about it. What's the lyrics to that 60's song? What a drag it is getting old?

Last edited by smarino; 06-21-2015 at 06:19 AM..
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Old 06-22-2015, 07:25 AM
 
383 posts, read 1,123,314 times
Reputation: 501
Quote:
Originally Posted by =^..^= View Post
Y If and when we move there, our 4 cats are going with us.

Check around, not all places limit you to two pets.
Many 55+ communities I've read about limit you to one pet, some only cats -- several in the Ocala area, including OTOW, allow two. I haven't come across any that allow more than two AND were in the same price range as OTOW. Maybe some of the more expensive communities, but I don't intend to sink a huge amount of money into a retirement home -- I'd rather spend it on our travels!

Would you mind sharing names of communities (55+) that allow more than two? I certainly will look into them. Pet limit restrictions by 55+ communities is one of the main reasons we can't move for a while, since we have five dogs and one bird, all rescues. Appreciate any info!!!
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Old 06-22-2015, 07:55 AM
 
383 posts, read 1,123,314 times
Reputation: 501
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarino View Post
This is a problem when you get to be older, no doubt about it, and I'm not sure why its like this. I know as someone 63, that its much harder to connect w/ people. Florida itself is a bit of the issue. Having lived in several cities here, I just don't fit in. I'm from the South, and nearly everyone I meet in our mobile home senior community is from up North. We're cats and dogs. Plus, during the summer over half the park goes back up North to what I consider their "real" life. There's no continuity w/ people. I have to agree w/ the comments that paint many Southerners as being overly concerned about church. It's not everyone, and when I lived in New Orleans and Savannah it wasn't like that, but many people from down here are in that boat. Being a Buddhist leaves me out in the cold, except for the Unitarians, whom I often like being around.

People tend to get more conservative when they age, and I haven't. If anything I'm more liberal. So when talking to all the flag wavers and "I Support Our Troops People" (I support peace), it isn't long before any conversation veers into an area I am not comfortable in. Well, I'm comfortable, but they aren't comfortable w/ my views. The wife and I have sort of given up making any friends in Florida. W/ no one that has any of our values, and to tell the truth, no people that are what I would call friendly, it is what it is.

For what its worth, I found the people in Knoxville to be very friendly, but a 3 week visit isn't much to go on. Wish I had some good advice, as I would take it myself! In my mind, you have to be someplace where you "belong" in order for friendships to happen. Looking back at my life, that was often a job site, and when you don't work, there goes that opportunity. So there's one problem. If you don't work, there's none of that camaraderie. A valuable opportunity for socialization disappears. People say to volunteer, but nearly every volunteer opportunity I have followed up on deals w/ some sort of faith (Christian) based program down here. That is just not going to work. In the past I have been comfortable doing that w/ the Catholics and Unitarians, who seem to be more liberal and walk the walk, vs talk the talk, but they are in extremely short supply in our area. The closest Unitarian center is about a hour and a half bus ride each way, and the buses here stop running (where they are) so early, that I could get out there but not get back. So 3 1/2 years after moving here we have the neighbor across the street to visit with, the neighbor on one side of us, and that's about it. What's the lyrics to that 60's song? What a drag it is getting old?
I agree with you that it does get more difficult to make connections as we age, especially as we exit the work force. Neither of us has a large family, and not a whole lot of family interaction as it is.

I'm very liberal on some issues, conservative on others. One of the reasons we're drawn to these 55+ communities is because of the various clubs, thinking we might find people who share some common interests. I also think it's better NOT to get into political and/or religious discussions, because that's where some people can become over zealous in defense of their particular beliefs.

Raised in the south, I'm not into the church crowd like many other residents; I'm more into animal welfare. I say live and let live; you can believe whatever you want as long as you don't impose your beliefs on others through violence, coercion or the harming of animals.
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Old 06-24-2015, 01:08 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,326,380 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by smarino View Post
.....People tend to get more conservative when they age, and I haven't. If anything I'm more liberal. So when talking to all the flag wavers and "I Support Our Troops People" (I support peace), it isn't long before any conversation veers into an area I am not comfortable in. Well, I'm comfortable, but they aren't comfortable w/ my views. The wife and I have sort of given up making any friends in Florida. W/ no one that has any of our values, and to tell the truth, no people that are what I would call friendly, it is what it is.
We've only stayed in Campgrounds and Resorts there in FL and almost everyone was friendly. We all had something in common. And you're right, my husband and I are Liberals living in a very Conservative area of TN so I can relate to that.

Quote:
For what its worth, I found the people in Knoxville to be very friendly, but a 3 week visit isn't much to go on. Wish I had some good advice, as I would take it myself! In my mind, you have to be someplace where you "belong" in order for friendships to happen. Looking back at my life, that was often a job site, and when you don't work, there goes that opportunity. So there's one problem. If you don't work, there's none of that camaraderie.
Exactly! But even at work I didn't meet others looking for new friends. Everyone was tied up with family and church. They had no time to put into friendships. I did have friends here in TN over the years but except for one, all were from the north. Most left TN after about 2 years. That was about the longest they could stand the social isolation. My son lasted 11 months and fled back to NYC.


Quote:
A valuable opportunity for socialization disappears. People say to volunteer, but nearly every volunteer opportunity I have followed up on deals w/ some sort of faith (Christian) based program down here. That is just not going to work. In the past I have been comfortable doing that w/ the Catholics and Unitarians, who seem to be more liberal and walk the walk, vs talk the talk, but they are in extremely short supply in our area. The closest Unitarian center is about a hour and a half bus ride each way, and the buses here stop running (where they are) so early, that I could get out there but not get back. So 3 1/2 years after moving here we have the neighbor across the street to visit with, the neighbor on one side of us, and that's about it. What's the lyrics to that 60's song? What a drag it is getting old?
I wouldn't want to have to travel to meet people and make friends. I'd rather make friends where I live, be it in an RV CG/Resort or... wherever.
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Old 06-24-2015, 01:16 AM
 
Location: Near Nashville TN
7,201 posts, read 11,326,380 times
Reputation: 5357
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
I agree with you that it does get more difficult to make connections as we age, especially as we exit the work force. Neither of us has a large family, and not a whole lot of family interaction as it is.
That's true for us also. My family, once so close into the 1960s, is now scattered to the four winds. I have cousins I haven't seen since the mid 1970s. No one keeps in touch with anyone else. All went their separate ways after college and marriage. A few times when I tried to make contact and maybe get family together... there was no interest.

Quote:
I'm very liberal on some issues, conservative on others. One of the reasons we're drawn to these 55+ communities is because of the various clubs, thinking we might find people who share some common interests. I also think it's better NOT to get into political and/or religious discussions, because that's where some people can become over zealous in defense of their particular beliefs.
This is very true. It's a good way to make enemies, to turn people away.

Quote:
Raised in the south, I'm not into the church crowd like many other residents; I'm more into animal welfare. I say live and let live; you can believe whatever you want as long as you don't impose your beliefs on others through violence, coercion or the harming of animals.
Same here.
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