Got a job offer (Toledo, Akron: for sale, renting, houses)

[DynaMow]

I got a job offer today from a business peer. He operates in The Triangle Area (RTP) .

Well here is my question. I am married, 46 years old, with a boy 10, and a girl 6. I live in NE Ohio, have all my life. Things are not going well here. A lot of closings and not much new opportunity. I own my own Lawn & Landscaping Company, but things are not as good as I want. Well he offers me a position in management, good salary and perks.

I am afraid to make the move. The only thing that I can think of that would suck is moving away from parents and brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc....

I know my deciding factor has to be what is best for my children. I think that a move to Raleigh would be positive in many ways.

Why am I so scared?

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by DynaMow

I got a job offer today from a business peer. He operates in The Triangle Area (RTP) .

Well here is my question. I am married, 46 years old, with a boy 10, and a girl 6. I live in NE Ohio, have all my life. Things are not going well here. A lot of closings and not much new opportunity. I own my own Lawn & Landscaping Company, but things are not as good as I want. Well he offers me a position in management, good salary and perks.

I am afraid to make the move. The only thing that I can think of that would suck is moving away from parents and brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc....

I know my deciding factor has to be what is best for my children. I think that a move to Raleigh would be positive in many ways.

Why am I so scared?

Hi there! I think that your fears are normal; I mean, you've been here 46 years, that's a long time. Your roots are deeply and firmly established here and obviously you have good size extended family. In the grand scope of things, family, is a very important part of the big picture for most people. To leave all that and not feel any fear of the unknown would not be typical. It's more typical NOT to want to leave your comfort zone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that many probably feel as you do. I've been an Ohioan (also NE OH - southwest of Akron) for 35+ years; grew up here since the age of 6. My husband and I (boyfriend at the time), moved to S. CA in the early 1980's to see what was out there. S. CA was full of opportunity, we enjoyed ourselves there, got to get out a bit and "see the world". Honestly, S. CA at the time, was good to us. Schooling was free, many jobs, etc. We moved back here in on Thankgiving day 1983 and have been here since. We moved back for the same reason you do not want to leave, and that is becaues all of our family was here too. We wanted to raise the kids that we were going to have with family around. Seriously, it wasn't the economic issue, or this issue or that issue, it was simply because we wanted to be around family. Now, 23 years later, we have a large family, our oldest boys are now 23 and 21; we are concerned about job opportunities for them. Like you, we have seen companies closing for year, companies relocating. Houses are for sale everywhere. I'm sure that we're on the same wavelength as you and we see what you are seeing too; having been here your whole life. We're old enough to have seen how things were and how things are now (I am 44, husband is 46).

As far as moving to Raleigh because of your new job and giving your kids an opportunity that they might not have here, that is not a bad thing. We have many friends that have moved to Charlotte or Raleigh or Asheville. Not one has come back yet. They all love it there. My former boss who was a partner in the big Six accounting firm I worked at got let go because of a merger of two accounting firms. He is happy as a lark to have relocate to Atlanta, GA, and he is there now with all 5 of kids; all in their 30's and above. A few of our friends have moved out west; one in Alberquerque, a retired pharmacist (same as my husband), and he is in 7th heaven.

I don't know what the answer is for you; only you can decide that. The only advice I can give is that you're not moving to another country, you will be moving a few states away, Ohio is not going anywhere. If NC doesn't work out for you, you can come back. People do this all the time. I drove around where I grew up today and where my mom bought her house after I graduated from high school; it is becoming ghost town. House after house, sometimes 4 houses in a row, and across the street are for sale. And, they can be purchased for a song and a dance, yet who knows how long they will take to sell because the jobs aren't here. I think the bottom line is that you have to go where there is opportunity for you and the children. That is not to say that your parents and other relatives couldn't come and visit. You will make friends there, build a social network and life for yourself and your children just as you have done here. I wish you the very, very best in a good future and good health for all concerned.

[Donna7]

Also, I want to add (something I forgot to mention), my philosophy of things is that it's better to try and fail (also I don't believe in failure - I believe that everything we do is for a reason and teaches us something) than get years older and wonder what would have happened if you would have taken the opportunity when it was presented to you. Seriously, the fruit is always on the limb; you have to stretch and reach for it though. Reaching for something new is going to require a leap of faith and a step out of the comfort zone that each of us live in. This is just human nature. Again, I wish you and your family a lot of abundance, prsopertity, health and joy. Take care.

[citybythebay]

Originally Posted by DynaMow

I got a job offer today from a business peer. He operates in The Triangle Area (RTP) .

Well here is my question. I am married, 46 years old, with a boy 10, and a girl 6. I live in NE Ohio, have all my life. Things are not going well here. A lot of closings and not much new opportunity. I own my own Lawn & Landscaping Company, but things are not as good as I want. Well he offers me a position in management, good salary and perks.

I am afraid to make the move. The only thing that I can think of that would suck is moving away from parents and brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc....

I know my deciding factor has to be what is best for my children. I think that a move to Raleigh would be positive in many ways.

Why am I so scared?

Dynamow,

Donna7 has given some very good advice...and I would also like to add my own experience and also tell you that it's natural to feel scared.
Many people have a fear of change...fear of the unknown.
I say put your fears aside.

I moved from Ohio to California, by myself. I only knew a handful of people in Cali and most of my relatives were all in Ohio, PA and Maine.

Rewind back to when I was going through this decision...So here I am about to embark on an adventure on the other side of the map not knowing what life had in store for me. I went through all the "what if's" and thought about my many friends and family that I was leaving in Ohio...and then just decided I only live once...I had an excellent career opportunity in Cali and a house all set to move into. It felt "right".

I did that move and I am so happy that I did. I would never of had the opportunity to travel cross country and meet all the fantastic people that I did along the way. Not to mention get to see SO many beautiful things along the way *I'm in the process of writing a book about my experiences *

It just so happens that in between that time life took another turn and brought me back to Ohio. And I learned that there will be many twists and turns in the road. And that's OK...

I will forever be grateful for my move to California...it opened many doors for me and I learned many, many things in the process.
I may eventually go back to California, but for right now this is where I am in life.


I say go for it! Sure it will all be an adjustment for you and your family, but you can do it....think positive... and don't forget there are many ways to communicate via phones, email, snail-mail, road trips! ...

Just remember you will always have choices in life...and for most things there is a purpose and a reason.

Good luck to you and your family!


**Congrats on the job offer!!**

[NewToCA]

Leaving aging parents is tough, I wouldn't sell that short. Depending upon your relationship with them, is this enough to hold you back from relocation?

[DynaMow]

Donna, city, and new Thank you for your thoughts. Donna you are one smart insightful woman, thanks. As I agree with what you have to say. City ditto to you. New that is the toughest part. We are very close, all boys baseball games, school events, birthdays, holidays, etc....

I must think of my children first, though. My job as father is to develop honest, self sufficient, respectful/respected, hard working adults, be good husband/wife, mother/father. Thats it, not to entertain them, everything I do must be so their adult life is as good and productive as possible. Everyday I teach them things about being grown up, along with being a child.

I posted this exact thread in the North Carolina section. You might find some comments of interest there, so I will link for you if you want to check it out.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/ralei...got-offer.html

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by DynaMow

Donna, city, and new Thank you for your thoughts. Donna you are one smart insightful woman, thanks. As I agree with what you have to say. City ditto to you. New that is the toughest part. We are very close, all boys baseball games, school events, birthdays, holidays, etc....

I must think of my children first, though. My job as father is to develop honest, self sufficient, respectful/respected, hard working adults, be good husband/wife, mother/father. Thats it, not to entertain them, everything I do must be so their adult life is as good and productive as possible. Everyday I teach them things about being grown up, along with being a child.

I posted this exact thread in the North Carolina section. You might find some comments of interest there, so I will link for you if you want to check it out.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/ralei...got-offer.html

I'll hop to the NC board to see what the folks there have to say, perhaps about NC. My husband and I are right there with you and share a similiar parenting philosophy. We are there to raise good, self-sufficient, productive adults who will survive and thrive even after we are gone as none of us live forever; that is the cycle of life. We can totally understand where you are coming from; we are also heavily entrenched in baseball (at least) - have 5 boys and 2 girls; with the five boys first. Moving away from this area and to more opportunity (for our kids and us) is difficult at this time because of the five younger ones being in school and also feeling that they are a part of something. Honestly, if it was just myself and my husband, this would not be such a big deal. When you have children, it changes everything. This is certainly a decision that cannot be made easily. The only thing that I can say (again) is that is not necessarily a life or death decision, although it might seem like one. Easy for me to tell you these things as I'm not the one that has to make it. Just know that many of us parents can relate to what you are going through. Wishing you the very best in the future.

[SCBeaches]

Donna7 and CitybytheBay...both gave excellent advice. Wise people.

DynaMow, I was in your situation 23 years ago. Born in Toledo, raised in Waterville, graduated from Bowling Green State U, married and had baby in Toledo....but No teaching positions available in NW Ohio after graduation. So, checked the placement office at BGSU and found tons of positions in SC...came down and interviewed, got hired in Charleston and found a house all in one week. Moved to Charleston (15 minutes from the beach) in 1983 and have loved it ever since. Lucky for me was that my parents came down to visit several times, fell in love with the area and moved down here too...then came my brother (who since married a local girl and has children), then down came an aunt and uncle...then more relatives moved from OH to FL, which is just a few hours away. So, now I have the best of both worlds!

Like you and someone else said, you won't know until you've tried. I too, moved with the attitude that if I didn't like it down here I could always move back. But I immediatly made lots of new friends, became very involved in the community and in my church and have never considered moving back. This is Home now. My son grew up surfing and water skiing instead of sledding and snow skiing (he can't imagine how I could have grown up there in all that snow - LOL). I think you'll enjoy getting to be outside most of the year and not freezing your rear end off.....though you may get a little colder weather in Raleigh than we do in Chas.

I say "Go for it" and Good Luck!

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by SCBeaches

Donna7 and CitybytheBay...both gave excellent advice. Wise people.

DynaMow, I was in your situation 23 years ago. Born in Toledo, raised in Waterville, graduated from Bowling Green State U, married and had baby in Toledo....but No teaching positions available in NW Ohio after graduation. So, checked the placement office at BGSU and found tons of positions in SC...came down and interviewed, got hired in Charleston and found a house all in one week. Moved to Charleston (15 minutes from the beach) in 1983 and have loved it ever since. Lucky for me was that my parents came down to visit several times, fell in love with the area and moved down here too...then came my brother (who since married a local girl and has children), then down came an aunt and uncle...then more relatives moved from OH to FL, which is just a few hours away. So, now I have the best of both worlds!

Like you and someone else said, you won't know until you've tried. I too, moved with the attitude that if I didn't like it down here I could always move back. But I immediatly made lots of new friends, became very involved in the community and in my church and have never considered moving back. This is Home now. My son grew up surfing and water skiing instead of sledding and snow skiing (he can't imagine how I could have grown up there in all that snow - LOL). I think you'll enjoy getting to be outside most of the year and not freezing your rear end off.....though you may get a little colder weather in Raleigh than we do in Chas.

I say "Go for it" and Good Luck!

Hi ther, SCbeaches, I really enjoyed your post - glad that it all worked out for your and your family! My two oldest sons are also majoring in Education. One will be finished Spring 2008 and the other a few years later. We lived in Toledo while husband was going to U of Toledo for pharmacy. My 21 year-old son went to Charleston last summer for some Airforce training there; he really loved the area. He particularly loved the Isle of Palms. My niece has been living in Charleston area (Sullivan's Island) for quite some time; doesn't want to move back here (much to her father's chagrin - LOL!)

Again, really enjoyed your post. Enjoy the rest of the summer!