How to be an Ohioan (Cleveland, Toledo: living, groceries, shop)

[ptsum]

Originally Posted by rugercaptain

I say "pop" for any carbonated, sugared or diet, caramel-colored, clear or fruit-colored beverage.

"Soda" goes with the word "baking" or "ash."

But a "Coke," well, that's a whole 'nuther thing. In fact, it's the Real Thing! A Coke is a Coke--it's not a Pepsi, not an RC, not a generic store-brand pop or any other kind of pop. Nothing beats a Coke. Nothing else IS a Coke. I would give up beer before Coke.

I thought my world was coming to an end in 1985 when the Coca-Cola Co. began selling some nonsense called New Coke. Thank God somebody in Coke's marketing department woke up, got rid of their temporary rectal-cranial inversion, and put REAL COKE back on the market.

Amen to that,where I'm from we say soda pop, but then again I'm not a native of Ohio, I'm a southern transplant, and that's what we call it, now my wife is a native from Ohio and she says "caddywampus" when something is crooked, she's only person I've ever heard say that.

[luvnthebeach]

If you call it pop in the south no one knows what you're talking about. It's soda down here...2 years and I just can't bring myself to call it soda. IT'S POP and always will be, lol. My husband has learned to just call it Mountain Dew, Coke, Pepsi, etc to avoid the ridicule.

[lydunn]

Yes it's a southern ohio thing...I am from upper ohio and when people would say youins I would say I have no idea who that is (they thought I was being a smart azz)

Originally Posted by ptsum

Can you please explain to me the term youins, I'm still trying to figure that one out, sounds like something that crawled up out of a crick, and what in the world is a Coney?

[amandadeemcminn]

Originally Posted by rugercaptain

"...got rid of their temporary rectal-cranial inversion..."

I have never heard it stated this way before... I love the wording! *ha ha ha* Anyway, I can understand what you were talking about, coke should be left alone! It is perfect just as it is!!!

[esya]

Coneys(hot dog with chili on top, plus onions and cheese) are not to be confused with the Chilisize, which is chili over macaroni and cheese sprinkled on top. I had a cousin from Clinton county that ate chili (red chili with beans, sweetish mild of course) with milk on it. Not me.

I often order chili dogs all over the country looking for that unique Ohio taste.

[Haaziq]

Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81

Another oldie but goodie:


How to be an Ohioan

After several decades of living in Ohio, I know how to be an Ohioan. While I was learning, written guidelines would have been helpful. So I've written some to assist others

1. Know the state casserole. The State casserole consists of canned green Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and dried onions. You can safely take this casserole to any social event and know that you will be accepted. In fact, Neil Armstrong almost took this casserole to the moon in case he encountered alien life there. NASA nixed the plan out of concern that the casserole would overburden the Apollo rocket at liftoff.

2. Get used to food festivals. The Ohio General Assembly, in an effort to grow bigger offensive linemen, passed legislation years ago requiring every community to have at least one festival per year dedicated to a food. Thus, Sugarcreek honors Swiss cheese, Troy delights in strawberries, Bucyrus has a bratwurst celebration and Gahanna, seeking an advantage over other towns, has recently introduced the Triglyceride and high-density Lipoprotein Festival. It is your duty as an Ohioan to attend at least one of these festivals and at least buy an elephant ear.

3. Know the geography....Of Florida, I mean. I've run into Ohioans who couldn't tell you where Toledo is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That's because all Ohioans go to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. Or are related to retired Ohioans who have a place in Sarasota. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Ohio.

4. If you can't afford to spend the winter in Florida, use the state excuse, which is that you stay here because you like the change of seasons. You'll be lying, but that's OK. We've all done it.

5. Speaking of Ohio weather, wear layers or die. The thing to remember about Ohio seasons is that they can occur at anytime. We have spring-like days in January and wintry weekends in October. April is capable of providing a sampling of all four seasons in a single 24-hour period. For these reasons, Ohio is the Layering Capital of the World. Even layering, however, can pose danger...Golfers have been known to dress for hypothermia and end up dead of heat stroke because they couldn't strip off their layers of plaid fast enough on a changeable spring morning.

6. Don't take Ohio place names literally. Upper Sandusky is below regular Sandusky. Circleville is square. East Liverpool has no counterpart to the west. Also, if a town has the same name as a foreign capital... Lima or Berlin or Louisville, for example......you must not pronounce it that way lest you come under suspicion as a spy. Hence, it's not LEE-ma as in Peru, but LYE-ma as in bean, and it's BER-lin, not Ber-LIN, like in Germany. Louisville in Ohio is pronounced Looisville, not Looeyville as in Kentucky.

7. Become mulch literate. Ohioans love mulch and appreciate its subtle differences. Learn the difference between hardwood, cypress and pine bark at a minimum. Researchers think the state affinity with mulch derives from its relatively flat terrain. People have a subconscious need for topography, and when it can't be supplied naturally, they are more likely to make little mulch hillocks in their front yards.

8. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Ohio, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels -- professional, college and high school. The truly expert Ohio sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot quarterback at Abercrombie Fitch High School, but also what college he's interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom and what he got on his biology quiz last week.

9. Remember that Ohioans are never the first to embrace trends. When we do embrace them, we do so with a Midwestern pragmatism. For example, if you see an Ohioan with a nose ring, there's a good chance he's had it undercoated to guard against rust.

10. The best way to sell something in Ohio is to attach the term "Amish" to it. The product need not be genuinely Amish. This would explain the existence of Amish moo shu pork.


I hope you found this guide to be useful. If it offends you, please let me know and I will bring green bean casserole to your home to make amends.

You must live in a different part of Ohio than where I grew up. I've lived in Ohio for 14 years and the only one that really applied to my area was the food festivals thing. Those are all over. Perhaps you live in a rural area.

[Ohiogirl81]

Originally Posted by esya

I had a cousin from Clinton county that ate chili (red chili with beans, sweetish mild of course) with milk on it.

Ewwwwww. But to each his own, I guess!

... says the girl who loves an order of chili cheese fries every now and again ...

[esya]

So I still know I am an Ohioan, after 37 years, and after re-reading this thread, by two thangs:

Whenever I say my daughter's name it is Haaannuh, not Hawnuh, like those new yorkers.
I won't even order pop in a place that sells Pepsi.

[MsinU]

I also wanted to add be prepared when asking for directions. Learn how to convert miles into miutes and look for red barns and little blue houses. When you ask for directions in Ohio you are __ minutes from your destination and you will go down this road turn left after the red barn and then turn near the blue house!

[CortlandGirl79]

Here's a new one i got in my email yesterday:

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
about Ohioans...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Ohio

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Ohio

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Ohio .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Ohio

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Cleveland for the weekend, you may live in Ohio .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Ohio .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Ohio .

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Ohio .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Ohio

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked,you may live in Ohio

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,you may live in Ohio .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,you may live in Ohio .

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going 80, and everybody is passing you, you may live in Ohio

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,you may live in Ohio .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Ohio

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Ohio.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly",you may live in Ohio .