Moving to OKC from Reno, Nevada (Oklahoma City, Mustang: fit in, apartment, house)

[clover10689]

This month I will be moving to Oklahoma City (or Mustang..) from Reno.

I've lived in Reno for about 7 years now, and it's terrible. Racism everywhere (against every single race there is), and discrimination against anything you could think of. (Some people seriously will harass you at Walmart because of your shoes...)

I've only visited Oklahoma once, and I fell in love. (I was actually born there, then taken and raised in Anaheim, Ca. until I was 10, then moved here to Nevada.)

I have to say I was shocked to go out and see white people, black people, brown people, and every color inbetween, walking together and being positively wonderful to one another. It was seriously like something from a dream to see that not everyone in the world is so very closed minded.

I don't think I got one dirty look or comment when I was there =D.

I will be moving in with my brother (I'm only 17). But basically I'll be on my own, finding a job and all. I've had such a terrible time fitting in here in Nevada, I only have a few true friends. I know its MUCH different to live somewhere than to visit, but when I went it did seem like everyone was super friendly.

How hard will it be to fit in here? (Eventually) I will be going to church with my brother, once I can afford clothes nice enough to go. I'm usually very shy with new people, and I think that may be one reason I find it so hard to fit in. I'm always afraid to say the wrong things.

Mostly I guess this is for people who moved to Oklahoma as teens/adults out of school... how hard is it to make friends? I know it'll take time, but will I be there for 2 years without making any friends at all? (as you can see, I'm having very different feelings about moving. I'm happy and excited, but scared out of my mind to leave the surroundings I've known (and hated) for so long...

[peggydavis]

Hi Clover

Well, I don't really fit your criteria but I will put my 2 cents in.

The main ways to make friends are: school, work, church, and other special interest organizations.

I would get a job right away if I were you, a job like a store or restaurant where you are meeting the public. You will make friends with your co-workers and people who are regulars at the place where you work. If you are still bored and lonely, get a second job. That way you will be able to buy the clothes you want.

If you don't know what to say, just smile and listen. Most people like that. The people you work with want to make friends too.

I don't think you will have that much trouble finding a job in Mustang, of course at your age it will be entry level.

Best of luck to you. Please post again and let us know how you are doing with your move.

[flintysooner]

I will be going to church with my brother, once I can afford clothes nice enough to go. I'm usually very shy with new people, and I think that may be one reason I find it so hard to fit in. I'm always afraid to say the wrong things.

Just wear what you've got. Clean and neat are good but don't wait on clothes - just jump right it. Be yourself. Try to remember a few names. I write new names on my cell phone's memo function and then when I see those people again I try to remember to say the name.

I understand the concern about finding friends as I've felt that myself. But honestly the best thing to do is just be yourself and stick your hand out and introduce yourself. Believe it or not it gets easier the more you do it. Then people will say "Shy? You shy? I am so surprised."

Best wishes for you.

[Jammie]

Clover, I'm surprised at your age. You're very articulate and seem to know a lot about the world already.

I don't fit your criteria either, but like Peggy and Flinty said~Just jump right in there. This may be the best thing that's ever happened to you. The people in OK are very nice and you'll fit in well there. Just don't forget about us. Give us updates on your progress and things that you like (and dislike) about your move. Good luck.

[Anunnaki]

Oklahoma is friendly, friendlier than other states. Mustang is a nice, small, quiet kind of rural community, away from the big city, but not too far away for shopping. It's true, there's not a lot of social life or urban life in Oklahoma, for better or worse. I wish you the best of luck.

[Synopsis]

Clover, I used to live in Reno, back in the late 80s. I actually liked it there but I certainly didn't have the same experiences that you've had. BTW, you are very articulate for your age. I think you'll like it in OkC. It's a growing, thriving, busy, city that is only improving with age. You seem to have a pretty good attitude about Oklahoma, if you have those positive thoughts I think you'll find yourself making friends quickly. Good luck.

[Mattie Jo]

You don't need new clothes in Oklahoma to go to church. This is not a dress up State. In fact, sometimes it can get rather raggy. You should see me shopping sometimes. I have gone out in sweat pants that are full of mud and paint, and I really don't care. No one else seems to notice either.

Find a friendly church and people will come to you even if you are shy. And I only say this hopefully, because people here are very friendly. Join a group that you think you would like even if you are shy. Sit and just listen, but I warn you people will ask you questions about yourself, and you may just lose your shyness then. And please keep visiting our forum, because we may be able to offer more advice as time goes on. It took me months to get to know people here, but then I joined a few groups.

[clover10689]

=) Thanks everyone.

I get comments pretty often about how I sound older. I think I only do when I'm nervous or upset about something, lol.

Before moving to Mustang I'll be staying in NW OKC for a few months until the apartment my brother found is ready. (But he told me I should be looking around SW for a job because it's closer to Mustang.) I'm a little nervous about how big OKC is... I don't think I'll ever learn how to get around there!

The nicest thing I own are a pair of jeans and a blue shirt that says "sneaky" on it. I'm a terrible clothes shopper and avoid it as often as possible (and, nice clothes are so expensive!) so I'm afraid I'd feel a bit like an outcast at church. The one my brother goes to, he says is "uppity".

When I was visiting him a few months ago I didn't go to his church, but I felt so nice walking around there, here the girls wear such tiny things I think they should be clasified as underwear, and they wear really expensive fancy things. There I saw more my style, baggier comfortable clothes. So I was a little surprised when my brother said that his church is a dress-yourself-up church. =(

Okay sorry I've rambled. I am getting more nervous by the day about leaving my parents and going to a fairly new state. (I'm so glad I found this site!)

Also, here I was a nanny/mothers helper.

Since I'm only 17 nanny agencies won't take me to help me find work, but is it hard to find nanny jobs in Oklahoma? (Like a real job, full-time, a certain amount of pay an hour, all that. Not just a babysitting thing a few times a week.)

Or would I be better off finding a job in retail or something? It's pretty hard here to get a nanny job, but for the most part I can't be happy in a job if it doesn't have something to do with kids.

[Mattie Jo]

I think you could find something in retail. Other than that I used to make great money being a housekeeper. I just put an ad in the paper and put a price on my work. I wouldn't doubt if they don't pay $20 an hour now. I used to get $10 when the wages were $3.00 or something for other people. I only mention that because you thought of becoming a nanny. And these people always left me with their kids, so I was babysitting and cleaning house at the same time. You can always put an add in the paper for being a nanny too and forget the agencies because they take too much of your money away from you. I know. I started with a housecleaning agency and quit and made a lot more money. With housekeeping I set my own hours. This was great when I was going to college because I would work 20 hours a week and make what many got when doing 40 hours. My sister irons for people in Mississippi and gets $20 an hour.

There are churches that would accept your attire, but if you would rather go to your brother's church you could try a thrift store for dresses. I love to go to thrift stores and do most of my shopping there. I can't see spending the prices that they ask for in clothing at retail shops. That is just me.

[flintysooner]

I really don't know about nanny positions but you might consider applying for a companion service at one of the senior care companies. There are several such businesses in the metropolitan area but one is HomeInStead (http://www.homeinstead.com/ - broken link). You would be providing a valuable and needed service, too.